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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Feb072018

These Wedding Wrecks Could Use A Fairy Godmother

So this is love

Mmm hmm mm mmm

 

So this... is love?

 

So this is what makes life

 

"divine"

 

I'm all aglow

Mmm hmm mm mmm

 

And now I know...

 

The key to all heaven

 

is mine!

 

So this is the miracle

That I've been dreaming of!

Mmm hmm mm mmm
Mmm hmm mm mmm

So this... is... love!

 

Thanks to Jesse R., Laura G., Kim J., Casey J., Margaret S., Vickie S., & Anony M. for the wrecky ever after.

*****

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Reader Comments (17)

To me, these are the saddest wrecks of all. They are juuuuuust close enough to the inspirations that the recipients wouldn't win in small claims court, but just bad enough to be heart breaking.

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

BABY DON'T HURT ME .... ahem, uh, yeah, wrong song. *whistles nonchalantly*

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered Commenter3Davideo

The mind boggles. That first wreck isn't as awful as some, but in comparison, it looks frumpy. The second one, who decided on that moldy-looking color? And what's that climbing up the cake? Is it a snake? Someone needs to brush up on their biology if it is. Maybe it's the branch Wesley wanted Inigo to lower so he could get up the cliff. On the third wreck, those red ribbons make the cake look like it's being strangled. And if I have to be honest, the fourth set both look like wrecks to me. The one on the left, which I suppose is the good cake, looks too much like a refrigerator with op art magnets on it. The other resembles a prototype robot from a low-budget Star Wars ripoff. What can you say about the fifth one? This must be the castle that was sinking into the swamp and should have been burned first. I don't think the positioning of the figures on top bode well for the marriage, either. The Mickey and Minnie carriage cake - well, the figurines look good and the carriage is okay, but again, who came up with the color for the top of the cake? That pukey green color would make me want to do just that. I think the Cinderella cake sums it up best, the horrified expression that says, "Dear God, what are those things?"

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

I just have to say....being that the criteria for submitting wrecks is that they have to be "professionally" made.....I really find it hard to believe these horrible abominations were from a bakery....advertising itself as a "professional" bakery. These must have been done by someone out of their own home advertising that they make wedding cakes. If they are from a "professional" bakery, I think these bakers should be publicly shamed for misuse of the word "professional". I make cakes as a hobby and I get tons of compliments on my work.....but I know I could never make a tiered wedding cake without at least trying a few practice ones first. These bakers disgust me.

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSoooooze

I love that the "Castle" wreck has the flag for Sheldon's Apartment blocking the door

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterEA

WTF is with that last cake? Why did they not smooth out the frosting?! Why does she look as though she drank meth mixed with espresso?! :O

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I can't. I CAN'T! IICCAANN''TT!!
==^^~~....~~^^==

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The last cake scared me!!

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

That leperous purple one with the trickle of human waste down the side is my favourite.I mean,if they have been handled so carelessly on the outside ,is the inside fit for human consumption?

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterhotclaws

I was just looking at ticket prices for Medieval Times earlier today... So... Um, do you guys see that too or... Not?

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Just, just... oh, the pain! Gotta really love how the carriage doors of the last cake reach all the way down to the ground. Cause our road vehicles don't need no clearance, baby!

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAbi

...and why does the castle (Medieval Times) wreck have wee birdies on snowboards????

I have no sympathy whatsoever for any bride that thinks it's funny to put the "bride chasing groom" cake topper on there, or the "bridge dragging/bagging groom" toppers, etc. It's nasty 1950's stereotyping, and if you haven't come a long way, baby, then...take your wrecky cake and keep on going. Unwreckingbelievable.

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHitch

A student once wrote "fairly tail weeding" instead of fairytale wedding, so I believe we have found the cakes the weeding.

February 7, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

That second wreck is so tragic! The dead, leafless branch - the colour - the bride & groom looking through an empty window frame - it all symbolises their future.

February 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

Does the one with the vines remind anyone else of the second season of Stranger Things?

February 8, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJanna

Even terrified Cinderella doesn't want anything to do with these wrecks lol.

February 9, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

The good cake in the "I'm all aglow" is beautiful, but I'm also half-expecting the Blazing Saddles cast to come bursting through at any moment.

February 11, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJamoche

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