Wrecks For The Reading Room

It's National Bathroom Reading month, minions, and I can honestly say I've been training for this moment my entire career.

Let's plunge ahead, shall we?

Get it? Plunge... a head?

But no need to clean that old broom handle; stains add authenticity.

Oh, and please, do sit down.

...carefully.

This may explain certain sticks in certain places, is all I'm saying.

Of course I don't want to lay the poo puns on too thick.

(OH DEER)

Not when a light smearing will do.

After all, these wrecks are dedicated to you, dedicated bathroom readers. You fans of fecality, you sitters of the throne! You, who know what a strain life can be sometimes...

In space, no one can hear you stream.

You, who enjoy celebrating the little things, especially when they make no sense:

That's one way to make balloon animals more realistic.

You, who likes EVERYTHING about your superheroes to be super:

I told Wolverine to go easy on the Shawarma.

Bad Hulk! BAAAD!

So happy bathroom reading, minions. May your day be flushed with victory, your ideas free-flowing, and your craps - when given - all be flying:

Thanks to Sphinx, Susan H., Jodi B., Angel S., Emery & Laney, Jenny, Carrie, & Desirae for coming through in a pinch.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot: