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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Feb122019

Conversation Starters

Show of hands: who likes conversation hearts? You know, the chalky little candies printed with whimsical messages of friendship and affection?

Ok, now put your hands down. You're just embarrassing yourself.

I only ask because some lucky individuals get cake or cookie versions of the famous candies, and I'm wondering if they're all as whimsical as this:

 Hey, it's no "huge me," but I'd take it.

 

Well I'll try, but darned if I know what "MNE" is.


Gosh, I've never been called neck wear before. Um...thank U?

 

 

Aw.
The best part is this doesn't make me want to run away and file a restraining order at all.

 

 

If you're asking, then a) Seriously? and b) No.

 

 

And you're going to need another your/you're refresher.

 

 

Seriously.

 

 

No, seriously seriously.

 

 

Come over here so I can slap you.

 



On second thought, stay over there.
Way, way over there.

 

 

You know, part of me thinks this simply has to mean "Sun Shine"...
but the other part remembers how to write a capital S.

 

So I'm torn.

 

Thanks to wreckporters Mike L., Jennifer M., Erin, Mariel K., Sarah, Noah E., Andrew T., Amy Z., Jacque K., & Susan R., who think we should give 'em something to talk about: LOVE.

And then maybe a dictionary.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

 

« 5 Cakes To Kill The Mood (And Your Appetite) For Valentine's Day | Main | Un-Bee-Lievable »

Reader Comments (21)

If "Tex Me" is referring to Tex-Mex and it is code for Send Tacos, then I am all for it!

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLydia

Arghh! The your/you're thing is truly awful, but using a lower care "i" in the middle of an otherwise all uppercase word, makes my teeth hurt. Who, oh why, do people do that?

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Booty Inflation? As in an oversupply of booty has caused the value of each individual booty to go down and the amount of booty required for any transaction to go up as a result?

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered Commenter3Davideo

Hey, it looks like that demotivator link doesn't go where you want. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any page that looked like where you did want it to go, so I have no suggestions on how to fix it.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterDude

I'd love to see youR medicine cabinet, Jen....if only to see if you knead as many MYGROANE meds as I'd need every day reading the STUMBLEmissions that land spreading,oozing like an oilslick...=^-.-^=

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Grammar: the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterdatapath

"Tex Me"- is that the same as "Huge Me"? Oddly enough, it looks like there might have been a "t" that was wiped off and replaced by a squiggly line. SMH

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

A Sonnet

Love is sweet, like graven candy hearts
Or cakes with words that make you call the cops:
Be MNE, your #1, the shops -
So filled with love, I don't know where to start!
Now hark, what words now show the bakers' art?
Tex me? Twet me? The careless, stumbling fops
Have turned our love into a broken prop
That marrs the stage and shames the Kwik-e-Mart.
But soft, what light through yonder Squarespace breaks?
It is the Jen, and John, her faithful moon.
Anon they turn all "sum things" into wit
Our giggles rise and heads begin to shake.
Such simple errors have become so soon
Our entertainment. And we're glad of it.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSomeone New

The "Twet Me" one reminds me of those times when you start saying, "How's it going" but you second guess and decide "How are you doing" would be better, so it comes out "How's it doing?" This wreckerator got stuck between "Text Me" and "Tweet Me" with kind of awesome results.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

No, no, it says "Sweet Toe." It means foot fetishists particularly like you, clearly.

And I think the "Your #1" one says exactly what it means to; I, as the person who is giving this cake, know I am your everything and I am not afraid to remind you that you are nothing without me.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterBorg

If you find any of those chalky conversation hearts on store shelves this year, they're probably leftover from last year. New England ConfectionaryCompany, aka NECCO, went out of business last year. The company that bought up what was left of NECCO didn't ramp-up production in time to get those hearts on the shelves for this year.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAldin

"Be MNE" must come from the same people who transpose the N and M sounds in anemone and pronounce it "an enemy."

It's an anti-sweetheart, declaring "be enemy."

Or maybe "bee enemy?" One shouldn't become an enemy of bees. We need them. Also, they sting.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterR3test

LOL! I thought the "sunshine" one actually said "Luni Think." Made me ponder for awhile before I read the caption.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Am I the only one who saw, 'Yum Friend' on the last one? O_o

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I spent a minute trying to figure out what FOH stands for in the first picture.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

1) I.O.U. one pastry heart. They only had cookies.
2) It's a proposal for the recipient to marry the person and change their last name, thereby making their initials "MNE".
3) Oh that totally says "U my sweet toe". Unless the U is a drawing of something. (A horseshoe? A toenail? It doesn't matter; the sentiment is the same.)
4) {sings} Saaaaave me, I can't find my way home, the grace I've fallen from, the only truth I've ever known... I mean, at least it doesn't say "Spit Sperm" or "WWIII", though I'd definitely buy a heart cake that said "Juke Joint Jezebel" on it.
5) "I love my Fiat, too", said the wreckorator before being corrected by the customer.
6) I think the sticker on the blue one may be covering a term for genitalia.
7) "Your #1" makes me think of an extra-creepy version someone who gets a tattoo of their crush's or s.o.'s name without the other person's knowledge. The version where they say, "Surprise, I tattooed my name on your shoulder!"
8) You know those optical illusions that can look like two different things, and then when you know what the two things are they rapidly switch back & forth as the main focus while you look at them? Yeah, I can't decide what letters are on that heart anymore.
9) "Twet me". Hang on, I gotta look this up in the dictionary before I say yes or no.
10) Awww, Texas and Maine make such a cute couple!
11) Lumi Thime, the knockoff of Lemon Time.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Aldin, you are correct about the "conversation hearts", except the company who bought the rights & recipes was not able to cut all the red tape of the purchase in time to even start production. I spent 11 years at a MAJOR candy company, and purchasing of supplies for Valentine's Day product starts a full year ahead. I think the sale was completed in September, 2018, so there's no way they could make the product! And yeah, I'm not buying any conversation hearts this year!

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMartha

Who remembers the Smallville TV series and its catchy theme song? Cake 4 does!

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChristiane

Now I fear the scary ones are waiting for Valentine's Day to strike. I can only imagine the happy vd ones just waiting around the corner.. lol.

February 13, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

#11 is remarkably similar to how I make a cursive "t". Therefore, it reads "Tum Thine", or in other words, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

February 13, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMirthMistress

Tex Me - from the person originally from Arkansas who fell in love with a Houstonian.

My favorite part of that message is that something clearly was where the second T should be, but got erased somehow.

February 13, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterYet another Jen

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