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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Mar032017

Grammar Geeks, UNITE!

K, people, confession time:

Do unnecessary quotation marks make your eye twitch? 

 

Have you ever left a comment on a friend's Facebook status explaining why it's "couldn't care less," not "could care less?" 

Do you fix the spelling mistakes in other people's tweets before retweeting them?

Are you required by forces beyond your control to whip out a pen and correct misspelled store signage?

 

Must...cross out...apostrophe...

 (And then...fix...capitals...)

(And then...add...exclamation marks...) 

And finally, do you not only know what the Oxford comma is, but have a passionate stance on its usage? 

If the answer to any of those is yes then you, my friend, are a fellow grammar geek. And tomorrow is our day. That's right; it's National Grammar Day! WAHOO!

Finally - FINALLY - we can pick apart spelling and grammar errors without fear of judgment from the text-speak-writing language butchers who keep "loosing" their minds! Tomorrow we will NOT be the nit-picking jerks of the comment section; tomorrow we'll be HEROES. HEROES, I SAY!! 

AHAHAHAHAAA!! 

So let's get right to it:

Ah, yes. [pushing up glasses] You see, "whose" is an interrogative possessive pronoun, while "who's" is the contraction for "who is." In this context, someone is apparently asking for the identity of the owner of something euphemistically known as "40."

Haha! Isn't that a SCREAM?!

I honestly don't know why I'm not invited to more parties, you guys.

 

Maybe I should have started with something a little more common, though:


Now, see, there's an easy way to avoid this situation in the future: 

Condoms.

 

And remember, it's "I before E except after C and when you're trying to write the word 'having.'"

Also those little dots are called an ellipsis, and there should only be three of them.

YES I REALLY AM THAT PERSON. 

Not to mention the way that's written makes it look like someone is "haveing" a weird scrolly symbol. (Maybe the artist formerly known as Prince invented a new species?)

 

Hey, do you guys watch Sherlock

What am I saying? You read this blog and therefore have EXCELLENT taste in entertainment, so of course you watch Sherlock.

Anyway, remember the beginning of that episode where Holmes is interviewing a murderer, and he keeps correcting the thug's grammar?

That was awesome.

 

Now where was I?


Ah yes, the importance of punctuation and discerning between "will" and "we'll."

It also appears this person isn't entirely certain that Dee Dee will miss me, which is hard to believe. I mean, in case you haven't noticed, I AM DELIGHTFUL.


And finally, allow me to share a quick word on foreign punctuation marks:

  Gesundheit.

 

Thanks to Mary F., Mab R., Catherine B., David S., Bella P., Todd, and Zoë P., who have always known I'm a pro-Oxford-comma kinda gal.

*****

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Thursday
Mar022017

In Which We Are Very, Very Sincere

It's National "Write A Letter Of Appreciation" Week, so let's take a moment to address those who make all of this possible: the bakers.

[cues sappy violin music]
[turns to face camera]
[looks very,
very sincere]

Thank you, Bakery Wreckerator, for making every chocolate swirl look like poo:

 

For making cupcake cakes (patooie!) look more like ding-dongs:

 

For your consistent, unrealistic, and yet kind of awesome boob-to-belly ratios:

Dream on, Mama.

 

Thank you for never, EVER, calling to double check an order:

...especially when you can just slap a question mark on the end and call it good.

 

Thank you for standing firm in your belief that this is how to spell "birthday:"

Or this:

Or this:

Or this:

Whatever. It's not like you'll need to use that word much, anyway.

 

But most of all, Bakery Wreckerator, we want to thank you for that big smiling face:

It's literally the best.

 

And thanks also to Griffin, Robert W., Samantha G., Dave, Heather S., Ivy W., Lisa B., Stefanie F., & Anony M., who, out of alllll our wreckporters, are literally the most recent.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.