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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Feb042016

No Body Is Better At Wedding Cakes

Last Sunday we saw how bakers used fashionable dresses to inspire some stunning cakes. So TODAY...

We're not going to do that.

 

See, cakes that look like actual dresses-on-bodies keep popping up, and they tend to be rather creepy.

How creepy?

Well, about as creepy as you'd expect edible neck-and-arm stumps to be:

Not to mention this one looks like its floating up through the table. Spooky.

 

It's not so bad when the stumps look like a fabric dress form, but for some reason bakers keep making the under bits look like skin. And, worse, wrinkly skin:

 

Photo removed. Please enjoy this lovely picture of Epcot.

o.0

 

Now, you might think it'd be better to just go ahead and sculpt the whole bride:

It's not.

 

And don't go sticking a blow-up doll on your wedding cake, either:

This is also creepy.

 

Here's one that avoided the skin/stump issue entirely - which I applaud - but then fell down in the whole looking-like-a-human-body arena:

Definitely more centaur-shaped. The boobage section in particular is... worrisome.

 

Still, all of that pales in comparison to this bizarre choice of a wedding cake:

I'm actually weirdly fascinated. I... I can't look away. It's like staring into the sun. A headless, armless, legless sun. That you kind of want to hug.

Or is that just me?

 

Thanks to Elicia H., Caren, Angela B., Sondra D., Brenda T., Megan B., & Samantha B. for proving no body is better at weddings.

*****

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Wednesday
Feb032016

Evolution Of A Big Bird Wreck

Stage 1: Excitement

"...now simply pipe seven thousand individual strands and you're done!"

 

Stage 2: Compromise

"Well, it's still kind of feathery..."

 

Stage 3: Apathy

"Meh, just spray it yellow."

 

Stage 4: Passive Aggression

"We call it, 'Big Bird In A Snow Storm.'

"And that'll be $37.99."

 

Thanks to Anony M., Rose T., Anony M., & Shannon B. for finding the face of despair. (Seriously, the longer you look, the more depressing it gets.)

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.