It's Administrative Professionals' day, minions, a time to A) thank your professional assistants, and B) force local bakers to write ridiculously long, hard-to-spell words on cakes.
SO LET'S GET TO IT.
Oooh, so close.
If they only had spell-check for cakes, am I right?
Hang on, what's this? THEY DO??
Well, THAT's clearly helping.
Hey, I know: why not skip the hard-to-spell stuff altogether, and just get down to the heart of what you're trying to say?
...but maybe a little less honest.
And less sarcastic.
I mean, uh, no. See, while literally everyone can appreciate a good "assets" pun, today you really want something more personalized to your actual assistant. Maybe start with their name?
[head hitting desk]
[muffled talking into keyboard] No, no, see, you need to make your workers feel VALUED and RESPECTED and... what's that? You already ordered the cake? Oh. OK.
I'm sure they'll love it.
Thanks to Jenny L., Carrie C., Helene W., John M., Celeste G., Lani R., & Tera L., who I appreciate in a completely non-creepy, totally prefessional way. MWAH.