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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Dec012016

The Dino Days Of "Bummer"

THREE IS THE NUMBER THOU SHALT COUNT.

And this three is the number thou shalt bake.
(It is a nice three; I like the cake board especially.)

 

Now.... GO!

NI!
I mean, NOOOO!

Ok, enough Monty Python references.

 

Now on to the Firefly ones!

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal, bakers.

CURSE IT.

 

If you find yourself in need a gender reveal cake next Thanksgiving, then here's a cute option:

As a hardcore pun-lover, I'm digging how both "waddle" AND "wattle" could work here. (In fact, "wattle" would be better. Just sayin'.) Plus the blue and pink tail is fun.

 

But you know what's NOT fun?

When you ask a baker for that, and instead...

...get this.

Sad as that turkey is, I'm most outraged by the pun botchery. This is like the cake version of that relative who comments "I don't get it" on all your Facebook memes. "IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THE DOG CAN'T SPELL, Aunt Claire. And looks surprised. See, it's a funny dog who can't spell and is surprised and OH NEVER MIND."

 

Thanks to Amber B., Maria W., & Shannon D. for the poultry in motion.

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Wednesday
Nov302016

Is There No "Just Us"?

After you see the word "just" written on a cake enough times, you start to ask yourself, "How does this keep happening?"

 

I don't know. I honestly don't. 

But it still cracks me up.

 

Sometimes I can't help imagining the conversation:

"What would you like the cake to say?"

"'Happy Birthday.'"

"Anything else?"

"Just 'Happy Birthday.'"

 

 BAM.

(I see "Just Happy Birthday" so often that I'm starting to wonder if bakers think it's a "thing." You know, like Man Showers or Dubstep.)

 

Then there are the perils of ever thanking your baker:

 

 

Not to mention the perils of writing anything out with instructions, really:

And just like that, CC's hysterectomy cake would never be forgotten.

 

So bakers, remember: when in doubt about a cake, you're always better off writing nothing on it than risk getting the order wrong.

 

No, not "nothing ON IT," I mean just, you know, NOTHING.

 You're killing me here.


Ok, what if I tell you to leave the cake blank?

As I suspected:

We're doomed.

 

Thanks to Ginger E., Anony M., Jenny C., Nathan B., Nicole P., Cristina B., Kristen H., Erica, & Ross E., who know you can't take anything I say literally, because I only speak in similes. LIKE A BOSS.

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