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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May282010

Der Burger!

As you are no doubt aware, today is National Hamburger Day. It's a day of celebration. Of history. Of patriotism. And, of course, of ridiculous amounts of icing smooshed between two cake layers.

Mmmm. Lovely.

That's not to say all hamburger cakes are bad, of course. Sometimes, a truly excellent one comes along:

(by the ├╝ber talented Sugar Chic Cakes)

...to show us just how wrecked the rest of them are:


"Hey, hey, bay-bee! You got some fries with that cake?

"Whassat? Just dry cake crusts? Oh. Never mind."

Of course the key to a good burger wreck is to keep the customer guessing:

"Is that really a burger cake? And if so, what are the red pointy things? Or the yellow pointy thing? Is the fireworks doodad supposed to be helping? Do they honestly expect me to pay $9.99 for this? Really?!?"

Good questions, all, but more importantly...

...am I the only one seeing a giant alien head here?

C'mon, green eyes, brown lips, cranium about to explode like a jiffy-pop bag? You see it, right?

Ok, ok, so it's easy to make fun of cupcake cakes (haaaaaw-ptooie!). It's not like it's much harder with these:

Bringing "dirty-iced" to a whole new level.
(A dirty, dirty level.)


I call this one "The High Hat" -

And this, "The Escaped Experiment" -

"The containment field can't last much longer! Everyone to the exits!"

"The Bonfire" -

(Onion smoke rings cost extra.)

And finally, "Peter's Pack of Peppers" -

Now with beach sand topping!


Ashley M., Angela E., Alicia B., Christy M., Lindsey F., Julia G., Torie C., Stefanie M., Abelina V., & Paula B., have it your way.

And in case you missed it before, here's the reason John will randomly exclaim, "Der Burger!"

« This Weekend, Pig Out | Main | Drem Big, Gjrads! »

Reader Comments (94)

That Pink Panther clip is great! My husband loves to quote that scene, too.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie Bug

In the Escaped Experiment cakes, I love how there is so much frosting shoved in there that they can barely keep the lid on the cake carriers. Not that that much frosting is a bad thing, but it doesn't make for a pretty cake.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMike

I think the "dirty iced" cake is an omelette cake gone horribly wrong.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Sugar Chic Cakes did an excellent rendition of a hamburger. The bonfire one at first glance I thought it was a volcanic mound smoldering. Hmmm...I may have to rethink my lunch choice for today. I may have flashbacks to those cakes and need therapy.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAFWingMom

I'm seriously jealous. We NEVER find good wrecks like this round here. I need to move to find something worthwhile. These are just AWESOME! I epecially love the stack of science experiments.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Where you saw an alien, I saw two giant turds garnished with Ketchup, mustard and relish...

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky Day

OH MY GAWD! I have no words. No words at all.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

How the first cake came to be:

Manager: "Can you gather up all the leftover cake and icing from this week, please?"
Worker: "You got it boss. But the trash guy already left for the weekend."
Manager: "Hmm."

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

I can Totally see an alien face!! LOL!
Love, Elly

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Now I really wish I could figure out how to upload photos off my cellphone. I actually found a potentially wrecky hamburger cake a few weeks ago!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Gravekeeper

I'm thinking that maybe the last one is supposed to be a taco, hence the peppers.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those are all probably better than I could do.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Under the "High Hat" - will someone please explain "conditioned fudge"?

(Jen - thanks as always for making me smile!)

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

The burger has fangs! That's what those pointy things are.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

The "dirty" one looks like pancakes. eewww!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oy! I want to go to Smash Burger now to rid my mind of these horrible wrecks!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlex Getts

If I watch that scene from the Pink Panther a hundred times, it will never stop being funny! Thanks for sharing! You always make me laugh!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChrissy

Please tell me these wrecks don't have SESAME SEEDS on the "buns"!!! Sesame seeds and cake don't mix - end of story.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am more curious about what "conditioned fudge" is.

Melissa

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissaK

Hmmm, after seeing this CakeWrecks, I convinced a coworker to get some cheeseburgers for our company meeting today.

But then I did some research online and all the sites that mention a 'Nation Cheeseburger Day' say that it's September 18th.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Ooh, and for another Sweet burger, check out Charm City Cakes' version they created when Guy Fiery visited the bakery - awesome as always!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So the burger cakes are always funny, but it has sunk to a new low now that the "fries" are just stale cake scraps. That's sad.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Alien head? No, I see a couple of floaters left by someone who needs to see a doctor ASAP. There really should be a licensing agency in charge of brown icing.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

Squinty little green alien eyes and a very weird green soul patch!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMama G

I'm not a fan of Steve Martin, but that is the best part of the Pink Panther movie. Anytime my family and I are making hamburgers we botch it up to sound like him.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFarrah

GLARGH!!!

While I admire the artistry of the well done hamburger cake (heh heh well done, get it?) I am funny about stuff like this. I can't eat cake that looks like something else. I freak out. The bad ones, well... ew, revolting!

I did a halloween cake once with oreo "dirt" and gummy worms and a gray tombstone. It was by request. I actually hated it and couldn't eat it because ew, gray, ew dirt, ew worms! I ended up getting rid of the tombstone pan because I got tired of disgusting requests.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Fangs! and long, yellow, pointy Gene Simmons tongue! Those say "hamburger" to me. Actually they say "run for the hills, your food has gone to the bad!"

I also really, really want to see onion smoke rings. That would be so cool.

my WV is ating: I'm ating these faux burgers.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

Thank you for the wrecks, and
clammering to know what "conditioned fudge" is.
My guess?
A form of olestra.

mocking

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That second cake actually looks like a hamburger. What a revelation! Now I know what all those other wreckorators were trying for, however cluelessly. Cake Number Two's baker even used an airbrush without the result looking horrible. Wow!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I usually never LOL at your site, but today I did. Several times.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was cruising BiLo last night about 11 PM and came across a burger cake and fries. Was going to submit it, looks like I'm too late! It even had ketchup icing for the fries.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh no, the vampire craze has spread even to hamburger cakes (the one with the red pointy things)!

Seriously, who knew there were so many burger cakes out there?

P.S. Every time I even look like I'm going to cruise my grocery store's bakery the bakers immediately look up and demand in a snippy tone, "Can I help you?" And I'm not even wearing a wreckporter T or carrying a camera!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

I am so glad that we are not planning to have burgers this weekend! I just lost all desire for beef and bread...

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie Penny

"CONDITIONED" FUDGE:

A type of fudge/frosting that is very sensitive, and therefore is required to go through a rigorous training and desensitizing program before it is anywhere NEAR ready to be put on any horrendously ugly cake.
There you go.

=^u.u^=

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I think my favorite was the dried cake crust french fries-that had me laughing out loud after I figured out they were supposed to fries and not extra cake just thrown on the side!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

For some reason on the one you called "The Escaped Experiment" all I can think of is how if that were a REAL burger, you know how the lettuce on burgers tends to be kind of wilty, maybe bordering on 'too old to really be consuming' so I think my intestines kind of seized up in fear upon viewing it.

....Then I realized that was giving it too much credit, as that's assuming that crazy mountain actually resembles a hamburger with lettuce. Which it doesn't :)

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

The nonwreck looked great, the others looked like it send me into a sugar coma

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I teach English in France. I *live* that clip.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

::mounting soapbox::

I live in an area of China that has no McDonalds. There are no hamburger joints of any kind. There are 15+ KFC's and they do have a "chicken burger" but it's not a hamburger.

As someone who only eats hamburgers during visits to the United States, I would like to know:

WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT A HAMBURGER CAKE??? Puh-leeze! Enjoy your hamburger in the form of a hamburger! Enjoy your cake in some other form.

::bows. off soapbox::

Okay. I feel better now!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWriteCards

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

My 2 1/2 year old is sitting here next to me exclaiming "Yucky!" "It's gross!" "Yuck!" "So yucky!" over and over and over and louder and louder and louder.... Then.... "More yucky?" ROFLMAO!!!!

I can't stop laughing! THANK YOU!

wv: larging. The sound one makes when trying to swallow a piece of one of these enormous globs of coma-inducing icing piles.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle in WI

Yikes - those are truly hideous "cakes."

But, I truly commented only to post my WV: derases.

Seeing der burger cakes caused them to laugh off der ases.

Hee hee.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErica

No doubt someone else has already POINTed this out, but the pointy things are supposed to be fireworks. I had to zoom in to see it better. Why, you can even see little bursts (with little chicken feet (?) on them) on the tail end of them, indicating that they are zooming up into the night sky....
..........
....OOOOO! AAHHHH!

Yeah.

=^e.e^=

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@WriteCards:

WELCOME TO AMERICA!!!

=^~.~^=

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The one that looks like an alien also looks like a character from Genesis' video "Land of Confusion."

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNonnyMosh

I thought National Hamburger Day was in July. Are you two months early for this one, maybe? :)

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

You know, I have the feeling that a Big Mac in all its raging caloric glory would actually be healthier than having a piece of some of these overly frosted monstrosities.

At least it would LOOK better. and no doubt TASTE better!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

"High Hat" cake looks to me like it was made in anger (like they just whomped that top part on, quit the job and stomped out. Don't know why I get that feeling...I just do.
The "Escaped Experiment," I think, just *could* be a secret stash--a stockpile, if you will--of radioactive or nook-you-ler weapons disguised as cakes. There certainly are a LOT of them. And will ALL of them be sold? I think NOT. Check out those "watermelon" ones...bet they glow in the dark.
And zoom in really close and you can see, way in the back, some green, POD-like things...NEED I say more?
I'm getting goosebumps...
=^@.@^=

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Look at that one you called the "High Hat" and underneath is a sign that says "conditioned fudge". What in the WORLD is "conditioned fudge"?????

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSixxlet

"Conditioned fudge" made me feel rather nervous.....

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPosh Tater

So I love the Pink Panther "der burger" bit on its own, but didn't believe it was realistic until I lived in France. They really so pronounce it like that. Really and truly.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterandygirl

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