My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Pumpkin Invasion

It still feels about a thousand degrees down here in Florida, but apparently it's "Fall." You can tell because everything in the stores has suddenly turned into pumpkin-ized versions of themselves. Candles, coffee, beer, M&Ms, lip gloss... it's a marketing exec's Cinderella Story, only with longer Limited Time Offers.

Cakes are not immune to the Fall'ing trend, of course, but they're not pumpkin-flavored, they're pumpkin... er... shaped?

Well, let's just call them pumpkin "inspired."


Or possibly pumpkin "poop."

Maybe it's the pumpkin beer talking, but I find this cake particularly moving.
And a little blurry.


Hey, bakers, maybe if you just put a couple of little ones together...

Never mind.


Just go back to that half-a-wheel thing:

I want to believe that thing on top is a flower - I do, I DO.


Hey look, it's the famous "It's Not Magma" Volcanoes of the Tomato Eggplant Isles!

(Oh, please, like YOU can resist blowing a good snot joke.)


The good news about all these pumpkin cake invaders, though, is that they're Portents of Things To Come. Spooky things. Halloweeny things. Things that look oddly like the melted face of the Kool-Aid guy:


And I, for one, can't wait.


But I think maybe this guy can:


Thanks to Jenna H., Frances J., Ashley S., Jessica S., Currey M., Lana W., & Kim U. for the gourd clean fun.

« Then vs Now: Wrecks Edition | Main | Sorry, Mario! Your Cake Wreck Is RIGHT HERE. »

Reader Comments (46)

Last one's a pumpkin?
Maybe he's a bit concerned
but not the same thing.

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Sung to "I Fall to Pieces" by Patsy Cline

They "fall" their pieces
It's equinox time, my friend
They "fall" their pieces
When will pumpkin carnage end?

"It's pumpkin inspired!" the bakers insist
This next one, my pet, is the most "moving" yet
And I'll try and I'll try but I'll never forget
They shouldn't have combined those pieces.

They "fall" their pieces
That flower sure is a shame
Volcanic sneezes
Kool-Aid guy's friend things it's lame

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

That last one looks like mayor McCheeses illegitimate son. You know a thing that popped up 9 months after his drunken night in the veggie patch.

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStephi

It looks like they used a paint brush to apply the frosting on the last one.

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCC

So good to know there's yet ANOTHER use of the heart-shaped pan. Whew--thought we couldn't use that pan in October.

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

The last one is strangely touching.

"Dammit, I've got poop on my head."

*lifts skeletal hand to face, sighs heavily*

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlice Shortcake

HAHAHA that last one! Looks like he's being fondled by off-screen skeleton and is all "Bad touch, BAD TOUCH!!"

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

Halloween from the point of view of a pumpkin: "I could get carved up any minute...gotta stay calm...gotta stay calm...the Pumpkin King TOLD me just to stay calm...oops, brown stuff is oozing out my bottom again; I hate it when I do that."

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Number 3 is an alien...

The brown squiggly things on number 4 remind me of the snake in QBert. :)

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

misshapen orange orb
a plop of poo brown on top
green accouterments
Mother Nature sheds a tear
as she sees the baker’s fall

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTanka

@Amanda H: You were not the only one to see that

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen


September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

After studying this post, I have developed a mathematical hypothesis that explains why bakers have so much difficulty making pumpkins. I call it Pumpkin Pi….

I laughed and laughed at every line,
To offer my praise I cannot de-Cline.

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Third cake: Run for your lives! It's the hideous Pumpkin Skeleton of Dooooooooommmm!!!!

I think the last one decorated himself after seeing all these other cakes; hence, the expression of dismay.

Now when I started this post, I thought: How can you screw up a pumpkin cake? Just bake it in a round pan! But again, I vastly underestimate our esteemed wreckerators out there. But never in a million years would I have thought to get out my heart-shaped cake pans for Halloween. **headdesk**

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

The last one can't understand why everyone still calls him "Mr. Poopy-head".

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Ode to Number 4: "do your gourds hang low, do they wobble to and fro..."

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaxmom

PanWow strikes again!

Mmmm.... Pumpkin Spice Latte

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

#1: Work with the shape you have, people! That could have been a nice fall colored leaf, but NO-OO-OOO. Pumpkin Wreck. Pumpkin Wreckin', had me a bla-ast. Pumpkin Wreckin', happened so fa-ast!

#2: "The sun drips down bedding heavy behind, the top of it's head all poop-y lined, and the icing spewing squirts in time with your beating heart...Sing Poop Pumki-in"

#3: A bulbous-eyed, green-blooded insect suffering from ebola...I don't have a song for that.

#4: Poop Springs Eternal

#5: Dr. Evil's lair, surrounded by liquid hot magma.

#6: My computer loves me and won't show me that picture. Just that one.

#7: @Alice Shortcake: I read that in Dr. McCoy's voice. "Dammit, Jim! I'm a pumpkin, not a lavatory!"

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Skeletal hand gropes
confused pumpkin, wonders why
the dripping poo hat.

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Sharyn and Haiku joy bwahahahaha :D I want to give the last one a hug, he looks scared of something-he also reminds me of tacodile supreme form the cloudy with meatballs 2 movie

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Am I the only one who got the Princess Bride reference! Love it! :)

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

My two-and-a-half-year-old son (who, despite not having great enunciation, can say "punky" for pumpkin very well) had plenty to say about this post...but never once said "punky." I got "star cake," "food cake," and "heart cake" and a lot of, "Dass funny!" but not a single "punky cake" was said!

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrushingtoread

I have seen many a poop representation on these hallowed pages, yet Cake #2 (get it?) wins the prize!

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentergrrljock

In all fairness I'd be frowning too if someone left a pile of poop on my head. Sometimes when I see a really pretty cake I'm like, "I couldn't eat that! It's a piece of art!" but that last one I want to eat just to put him out of his misery. Poor lil' pumpkin....

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

That last one really looks like he should be singing "If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Wreck #3 reminds me of two orange boobs being groped by green alien hands....and if you ever saw the movie "A Prarie Home Companion", you'll understand me when I say "what do we do with the useless boob? He made it into man....."

If not, well, the sky is a beautiful color in the world in which I live........

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWildDuck

I present Your Moment of Zen For The Day: Today is my spouse's birthday (which I've known about for awhile), but it's also Youngest Daughter's teacher's birthday (which I discovered yesterday). Today Oldest Daughter skipped home and announced that her class had had a party with cupcakes and EVERYTHING because it was her teacher's birthday. Like, *whoa*, dude.

I'm starting to feel left out. Is it EVERYBODY'S birthday today?

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Yeah, that last one ain't a pumpkin.
He's a taco. With a turd on his head.

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Speaking of Pumpkin beer...there's this kind called Terrapin Pumpkinfest that's made right here in Athens, GA. It's been stocked in my fridge since early September. It's my favorite.

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMSUandUGA

The thing that astounds me is that pumpkins are round. And a lot of cakes are round. And yet, here we are. Suddenly round is a lot harder to do when it's the shape you need it to be.

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSabs

Yeah...last guy scratching his head with the skeleton hand and I are on the same page - except I don't have the skeleton hand...

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Why do they all have poop on top?? The stem on the pumpkin isn't even brown and its definitely not poop-like.

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRita

Here come the poopkins lmao. Can't wait to see the turdkeys soon too. Considering all the poop the wreckerators should just give up trying to do stems in brown.. but as that won't happen I will happily laugh on and on.

September 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

That last cake is clearly the mole from the most excellent children's book "The Story of the Little Mole Who Knew It Was None Of His Business."
You don't know that one? Google it. It's worth it.

September 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTanya

Pumpkin INVASION!?

*whips out fork and carving knife*

Never fear citizens! They call me....the Pumpkinator >O *omnom*

(Yeah, I love EVERYTHING pumpkin. I would eat Cinderella's carriage if I had half the chance.))

September 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWhitney

Surely cake #1 is a turkey? It has a little plastic one on it, I thought the rest was meant to look like its tail.....

September 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHelenT

Cake #4: "I want to believe that thing on top is a flower - I do, I DO."

That's not what it made me think of. Well, orchis, as in orchidectomy, maybe.

I think @Laxmom and I are in the same ballpark. :p

September 25, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

Last cake: What? No one got that it´s "The Story of the Little Pumpkin Who Went in Search of Whodunit"??

September 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Do my eyes deceive me or is the second to the last one (melted Kool-aid face guy) made with Pan-Wow?!

September 25, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersandy

The most ridiculous pumpkin-ized items, in my opinion, are the Reese's PB Cup pumpkins. They are not pumpkin flavored, but simply more expensive "limited edition" peanut butter cups shaped like pumpkins, which actually makes them smaller because they carve out the pumpkin shape, not add on to make a pumpkin shape.

September 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWreckophile #1

News flash (Google-search flash): There are also pumpkin Pop Tarts, vodkas, potato chips (????), Hershey kisses, cream cheeses, eye shadows, ice creams, digital FarmVille purchases, waffles, lattes, Pepperidge Farm breads, cough drops, and face creams.

September 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWreckophile #1

@Sabs: I love you. That is all.

September 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

I couldn't help but think of the song "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" when I got to the "It's Not Magma" part! I wonder if there are any cakes out there themed after that song... I'd like to see that!

September 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterOMNOMCAKE!!!

I think they should be called poopkins.

September 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

My wife mixes pumpkin with chocolate cake and makes cookies out of it. People look at us funny when the kids come up and ask for "more pumpkin poop please."

September 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJed

Haha, ooh boy. Pumpkin FLAVOURED cake on the other hand, that would make everything better. Where'd that recipe go....

September 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLucas

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