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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Sep232013

Sorry, Mario! Your Cake Wreck Is RIGHT HERE.

When Allison H. sent this inspiration photo to her baker, her baker assured her she could "replicate it exactly."

 

As it turns out, though, Allison and her baker MAY have different definitions of "replicate" and "exactly."

o.0

 

And that's why you should never do 'shrooms, kids - unless you know how to cover them in fondant.

#ProTips

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Reader Comments (59)

Sung to "White Rabbit"

One cake makes you happy.
And one cake makes you bawl.
For that cake your baker gave you
Don't pay anything at all.
Go ask Cake Wrecks
'Cause they've seen 'em all.

If you want Mario's mushroom
I think you're in for a fall
Tell the woman at the counter
That you know just who to call
It's Cake Wrecks
'Cause they'll post them all.

And the lump upon the cake top
Makes your guests get up and go
And you know it was a mushroom
But your mind is screaming
NO
E-mail Cake Wrecks
So the world will know.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

At least the photo paper isn't a photo of the original cake.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

This is what Robin Leach would call "Buttercream budget and fondant dreams". ;)

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterH

Oh, no! Bowser got to Princess Peach's cake and used the witch's magic to transform it into a wreck! Now it will fly around the room pelting people with buttercream until you bop it on the mushroom three times revealing the third star coin you need to move up a level (or another year)...

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

Oh dear...

I don't know what the customer paid for that cake, but she should get her money back, plus extra for pain and distress.

Tacky, tacky, tacky!

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

@Catherine. Thank you for reminding us that this actually could have been even more wrecky. Perhaps that would have been more forgivable, considering she would have at least followed through on the "replicate" part.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Sorry, Zuzu--no angel got their wings this time.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Today's challenge: Finds the Differences. Can you find the 436 differences in today's almost identical cakes?

@ Sharyn: kudos! you've done it again! (a favorite song from a favorite band)

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

o sad Mario
your mushroom top is sagging
scalloped edges gone
some cheap wrap surrounds this wreck
replicate...no, decimate

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTanka

@ Sharyn - Best. One. Yet.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCC

Saddest power up ever.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Such a sad, deflated mushroom. :(

I'd still eat it. :p

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAddy

Melting Mario
sadly slithers cakeward in
buttercream distress.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Mushroom settles in
his recliner - time to dream
of correct cap scheme.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Well the wreckerator DID actually use fondant on the mushroom. But my 7 year old could have made that shroom look more professional. Who could present this to a customer and expect payment?

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

I think my favorite (or least favorite) part is that the mushroom colors are inverted. Supposed to be a red cap with white spots and the wreckerator somehow did a white mushroom cap with red spots. Just... wow.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLauryn

How appropriate that my youngest and I played Mario Kart on the Wii yesterday. I had the defective controller. Yup! That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

When I look at that wreck all I can hear in my head is my daughter laughing and yelling at me to "Press B, Mom! Press B!"

Thanks for the giggles @Sharyn
I can only find 435 @mel. That last one always gets me ;-)

p.s. I can't be the only one that double checked to see if they actually spelled birthday right can I?

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Oh, boy...I feel so sorry for the recipient...

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

@Catherine, That is such a good point! Is it bad that I sort of want to see that happen, though?

And that poor mushroom. It just looks so sad. A sort of "Please, end my misery" look.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSabs

Instead of replicate, it should have been (best Dalek voice) "EXTERMINATE!"

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Zuzu was four years old. She probably loved it! :-)

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Oh NO D: D:

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

HUMPERDINK!!!!!!!

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

That's so sad - even I could do better and I'm rubbish at decorating cakes!

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

@SaraCVT: That's what I thought of when I saw the name Zuzu!

I think the baker did exactly what she said she would...didn't she say she would wreckplicate the Mario cake? Nailed it!

Sneaking veggies in,
No one will ever notice
Cauliflower cake

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Long time viewer, first time poster. Sharyn, you knocked it out of the park - again. I am laid up with a seriously broken ankle (as opposed to the fun ones..?) and you folks are a big part of my PT. laughing really gives the muscles a work out. As far as the Wreckerator goes, I have this malicious urge to throw something else at them, just to see what they come up with. I need the work out.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeckyG

So, was the baker trying to do it completely from memory? Unbelievable.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia

@SaraCVT: I was thinking like you, I guess! (I was wondering if the little girl was named after the "Zuzu" in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life.")

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

It's been a long time since my mouth has dropped open and stayed that way for as long as this wreck made it! Wow!

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

I wonder if they get so perturbed by people giving them inspiration cake pictures and not allowing them to make their own creative choices that they just bomb the cake out of spite.
"I am the baker! I am an arteest! Do not ask me to recreate someone else's cake! Patooey, I spit on their cake! Therefore, I will be using my own (artistic) license in the interpretation of their pathetic inspiration cake. Bwahahaha! Mine is an evil laugh!"

The customer's reaction? "Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersandy

Sharyn, that was awesome!

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKJGuest

At least the edible paper on the sides has recognizable Mario images. The mushroom got stepped on. smh

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

What the... the baker is so inept that s/he even reversed the colors on the mushroom cap. This cake is obviously from Bizarro world.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKevin

Well, that was just....awful. Well into the realm of 'epic fail'

In fact, it's CRAPTACULAR!

Sharyn: love love love it! One of my fave songs of all time!

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

Glad the trolls took the day off. You know, "you get what you pay for," "buttercream can't do what fondant does," yada, yada, yada. Fondant can't do what buttercream does (namely, taste awesome), so there.

To me, and this is just my personal opinion which is personally mine, the main purpose of a cake is to be eaten. Therefore, in the unlikely event I ever wanted to duplicate a fancy-schmancy cake with edges that present a cut hazard and surfaces that are smooth enough to reflect light, I would still ask for buttercream and tell the baker, "do the best you can -- it will be fine, I promise on a stack of Jen's books that I won't tell Cake Wrecks." Then I'll send in a picture, complete with back story, under an assumed name. I may have done this at least once already -- who's to say.*

*Or not.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Sandy - Beagles.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Mushy settles in
his comfy recliney - Ah!
Color cares relax.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Mama Mia!

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNatasha (Nevie-Pie Cakes)

Are you sure you didn't post the same picture twice? I keep staring back and forth from one to the other and I can't find a pixel's worth of difference.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJan

@sandy: Oh God, no...!

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Sharyn, you've outdone yourself once again! You amaze me.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterZoe

@Sharyn: Another awesome song! I am impressed that you know enough of the words to "White Rabbit" to be able to parody it.

And speaking of which: I think this wreckorator must have been interacting with some of those infamous mushrooms or pills. Because I can't think of another explanation for this final result.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Totally off subject, but too bizarre not to share: the Youngest Daughter and I were just speculating on what zombie poop would look like. Hey, if they eat, no matter their diet, they gotta poop--it's logic. Now where would they go...? Daughter thinks behind a tree is "GRO--OSS!", apparently grosser than eating brains and dripping decaying flesh. Who can fathom the tween mind?

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Maybe the wreckerator thought they only wanted the lettering style replicated.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCat

Idk they look identical!! :D

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

O-o what makes me sad is that miserable mushroom LOOKS like it's been covered with fondant....with buttercream mooshed all around to hide cracks and the poor mushroom's depression as he slowly sinks into the middle mire of buttercream and poorly done printed fondant.....

I mean seriously if you're gonna go the lazy route, AT LEAST try hiding the seam D: Is that so much to ask!?

Maybe it's an allegory for the ugly duckling? Only its the Ugly Mushroom? To show Zuzu that even the ugliest of mushrooms....PROBABLY tastes good?

Or poisonous... cause the mushrooms in Mario actually look like Deathcaps (Amanita muscaria) xD...maybe the baker was trying to keep Zuzu from EATING mushrooms that looked like these?

.......or you know, they just were lazy and said 'PFT! It's close enough'

It's okay depressed mushroom....I'll still eat you. AND THEN GROW GIANT! MUAHAHAHAHA!

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWhitney

@Jodee: Hey! I always seem to get the malfunctioning controller, too!

@BeckyG: Here's hoping your ankle heals up quickly, and that when it does, it looks better than that poor wonky mushroom!

@sandy: Here, take it. I'm turning in my brown coat. That quote niggled at my memory, but in the end, I had to Google it. *hangs head in shame*

@Craig: Teehee! Your mind, it is devilish. I like it.

@SaraCVT: Of course! Zombies may eat brains and never bathe, but they certainly use the toilet and wash their hands after, I'm sure! Looking back on myself at that age and looking at my two boys when they were that age, I think tween brains vibrate at just the right frequency to enable alien possession. Once they turn, oh 16 or 18, they begin to return to normal and alien occupation is impossible.

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

I think the question marks stuck around the sides of the inspiration cake belong on the second one. Other than that- gorgeous! (cough, cough...gag)

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I completely believe my first haiku was eaten by the internet, so I did a variant on it since I couldn't remember the original exactly. So two versions for the price of one!

September 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Salami on a snowball

September 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterneighbor57

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