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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Apr102015

Friday Favs 4/10/15

Some of my favorite new submissions this week:

 

You'll never guess what kind of party this cake was for. NEVER.

Unless maybe you can read.

 

Eric A. reports that someone is taking a bite INTO crime at his local grocery store:

And I shouldn't be finding this quite so funny, should I.

(Hey, we've all been there, random drive-by cake eater. We've all been there.)

 

Think Big Bakery doesn't read this blog? WELL THEY DO. Proof: they've finally agreed with me that most bakers can't even pipe a simple balloon, and have started providing plastic ones instead.

But don't you worry, guys: where there's a wreckerator, there's a wreck:

"They just have to add strings," they said.
"It'll be easy," they said.
"No WAY anyone could foul that up," they said.

 

Now, I know that Easter has already come and gone, but... hey, actually, that's a pretty good segue for this:

WHAT.

Suzanne assures me this is exactly how her "Easter Bread" looked straight out of the package. I don't know what they were going for - besides the obvious - but it certainly rose to the occasion, no matter how you slice it. (Maybe a cross? Thor's hammer? A bug-eyed, one-eared bunny? [....and now that's ALL you see. Ha!])

Note how I resisted making any egg jokes, you guys. NOTE IT.

 

And finally, over on Facebook a while back I shared this fun Godzilla Princess cake that ThinkGeek posted:

Well, CW reader David got a big kick out of it, and put in a request with his friends. But then, "they went one better," he says, "and had an even awesomer one made for my birthday."

I think Dave's right, you guys; this is pretty epic:

Hee!

May your weekend be as fun as a dino in a dress, everybody.

 

And thanks to Bethany P., Eric A., Taryn F., Suzanne C., & David E. for the Cinderella Toy Story.

*****

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Thursday
Apr092015

Not So Much "Rules" As "Guidelines"

Believe it or not, when you ask the internet to send you pictures, you sometimes get stuff you can't use. ("Wha WHAAA?!" Yes, really.)

So to better help you wrecky minions both take and send CW-appropriate snaps, I've compiled a few common mistakes to avoid.

Please note that every picture I'm about to show you is a real, honest-to-goodness, user-submitted photo from just the past month or so. Welcome to my world.

 

To Have Your Photo Featured On Cake Wrecks, Please Do Not Send:

Anything too blurry:

Contrary to popular belief, you do NOT have to take the picture while doing sprints and/or jumping jacks.

 

Anything too small:

That's the actual size of the attachment, y'all.

("What is this? A BLOG FOR ANTS?!!")

 

Anything obviously homemade:

I know this can be a judgement call sometimes, but I'm talking painfully obvious.
You know, like that Palmolive bottle.

 

Cakes on ceilings:

Stop hurting our brains, and just walk around the table, dude.

 

Cakes with absolutely nothing wrong with them:

I've been assured that the purple flowers are all wrong somehow.
o.0

 

Obstructed views taken from halfway across the room:

I've deleted lots of these with the bride and groom completely blocking 3/4 of the cake - which I'm regretting now, since some were just hilariously bad.

Anyhoo, if you're gonna go all paparazzi on a cake, peeps, at least get a decent zoom lens.

 

Quick tangent: Sometimes I'm forced to leave the house and make small talk with strangers. When this happens, I have one go-to line to describe my day job: "I have seen more fondant genitalia than any one person should ever be subjected to." And it is true.

So, my final "guideline" is this: No shockingly, intentionally obscene cakes.

Unless it's super funny. Then I'll just have John work his censor dot magic on it:

THANKS JOHN!

 

And our sincerest thanks to the many thousands of you who have sent us pictures over the last 7 years.
You guys are awesome.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.