My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

john (the hubby of Jen) In The Flesh

My friends, today is National Nude Day, which is why I... [ripping off Velcro pants]...will be writing this post entirely butt nekkid. Aw yeeeah. In fact, I suggest you join me! Just be considerate of your family and cubicle mates, and be sure to walk around and extend a personal invitation to each of them, too.

Now, you may be asking yourself, how will I know that john (the hubby of Jen) is actually naked? Well, here's a picture as proof:

I like to oil up when I write about cake.

Now, let's do this thing!

Here we have a ...

I'm sorry. Excuse me...this chair is really...erph!...scratchy.

So. Here's a turtle:

Oh! Hang on a sec; my neighbor is watering her lawn.

[opening door]

Hi, Mildred! Did you know it's National Nude Day?

Mildred? Don't run so fast, dear, remember your hip surgery!!

She's such a sweetie.

Now, check out this hot little chick:

That is some serious duck face.

(Question: is it ok to scratch below the belt with a back scratcher? Asking for a friend.)

And now, a taco:

Or possibly a hot dog.

Never thought I'd get those two mixed up, to be honest.

(Another question: are wood back scratchers dishwasher-safe?)

Huh. That's odd. Ever get the feeling somebody's watching you?

Must be the cold draft in here.

[crossing legs]

And finally, because this post has been the picture of modesty and decorum so far, let's end with something really inappropriate:

Hey, Carol G., Marianne F., Susan M., Sarah A., & Alexandra, for the last time: I'm up here.


Brought to You By Seymour Butz

Remember when I used to rail against the cannibalistic indignity that is the baby butt cake?

Ah, those were some good times.


Let's do that again!

Hm. Given those "legs" and the hastily edited "Baby," you have to wonder what the baker thought s/he was making.

After all, bakers don't always have the firmest grasp on the whole "edible butt" concept.

For example, "broken legs shoved under a table" isn't quite what we're going for here:


Parents, don't let childhood obesity get the upper butt on you:

Also watch out for TLS - teeny leg syndrome.

And while you're at it, parents, maybe wait 'til your baby is a little older before dousing her lower half with self-tanner:

I mean, c'mon, the cheeky little devil is barely half-grown!

'Course, sometimes a butt cake is more than just a butt cake.:

Sometimes it's a Toddler Torso cake.

Or, if you're lucky, sometimes it's a snaggle-toothed-monster-popping-through-a-sheet-cake-and-about-to-eat-a-rose cake:

Don't even try to tell me you don't see it.

And finally, for those of you who, like me, think the idea of ingesting a cake shaped like the poop-factory end of an infant is kind of disturbing, just remember: sure beats getting a head.

Thanks to Maria S., Deidre P., Aubrey A., Anony M., Renee W., Roman S., & Debra for cracking us up today.