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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May142009

Chuck Norris, Bakery Defender

Remember the Chuck Norris Facts phenomenon that blew up several years ago?

"Chuck Norris doesn't read books; he stares them down until he gets the information he wants."

"There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live."

"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits."


And so on? Well, naturally some of these made their way onto cake:

I haven't heard much about the Norris craze lately, so I assumed it had blown over. Turns out I was wrong: it just blew over to Croatia, as I learned recently from Neatorama.

See, according to the Croatian Times, a bakery there has effectively scared off all would-be burglars by placing a "life-sized" photo of Chuck Norris in their window:

Erm. Apparently their definition of "life-sized" differs slightly from mine. Also, check out the "no hacksaws" sign. [blinking] Uh, guys? What exactly is going on in Croation bakeries these days? I mean, are people seriously shopping for cake while packing sawtoothed metal??

At any rate, the pint-sized power-house's photo seems to be working: employees claim they haven't had a robbery in over a month, which they attribute to would-be thieves' "respect" for Chuck Norris.

Sure, that could be it. Or - and I'm just throwing this out there - perhaps thieves "respect" hacksaw-packing nut jobs jonesing for some carbs. Just a thought.

Wednesday
May132009

Gothic Miss

You guys keep asking for 'em, so who am I to deprive you of some rich schadenfreude?

What the bride wanted:

Personally I think the dripping ganache thing looks a little Sylar-esque, but it turns out that's intentional; the happy couple planned to use a Corpse Bride topper, and so wanted an elegant Gothic vibe.

Instead, they got more of a dumpy glazed-doughnut vibe:


[snickering] I'm sorry, but I think I'm in love with this photo. As you scroll down, first you see the incredulous expression on the bride's face (she's the one in green), and then...THE WRECK. Hah! Hoo boy, that's good stuff. In fact, I've been amusing myself by picturing a little thought bubble over her head, and filling in the blanks*. Hehheheh.

Fortunately she didn't let it ruin her big day, though: you can read the bride's account of everything on her blog here.

And here's a better view of the Wreckage:

Niiiice. That chocolate looks positively...crinkly. On the (literal) bright side, though, the blindingly reflective "rose leaves" prevented any of the guests from looking directly at the cake. See, Christiana M.? There's a silver lining to everything!

*But why should I have all the fun? Give me your best caption in the comments. The one that makes John giggle 'til he snorts wins!