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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Sunday
Oct262008

Sunday Sweets: Autumn Awesomeness in Atlanta

Today's Sweets are brought to you by Highland Bakery in Atlanta, Georgia. The folks over at Highland routinely churn out the most jaw-droppingly gorgeous creations the South has ever seen, and I'd be hard-pressed to pick a favorite. So instead, I just chose some season-appropriate lovelies.

Doesn't this look like a giant Hallmark figurine? (I mean that in a good way.)

The cobblestones, the twisty vines, the gnarled posts! There's so much more to this cake than the cutesy mice. (Although the mice are pretty darn adorable, I must admit.)


I don't think I've ever seen sugar art looks so much like porcelain - just look at those leaves!

Mmm, sugary mushrooms...

Next up: a perfect pumpkin:

I just love the simple design and creamy colors. I think cakes overall should use more orange, too, don't you? Year-round, I mean: orange is just underused.

Many thanks to Karen and the gang over at Highland Bakery for the lovely work, and for not hanging up on John when he said he was calling from Cake Wrecks. ;)

Saturday
Oct252008

Great White Snark's Top 5 Awful Dalek Cakes

One of the few blogs I keep up with these days is Great White Snark, a geek entertainment blog. Since Mike of GWS seems to enjoy skewering sci-fi cake wrecks there from time to time, I invited him to share the snark with us over here on Wrecks. I also (rather selfishly) suggested he do a feature on Dalek cakes, since I was raised a proper Doctor Who fan and love to stay in touch with my geek roots. (If that last sentence made no sense to you, then you're just going to have to bear with the rest of us geeks for today's post. Sorry.)

Now, Mike doesn't usually concern himself with our "professional-only" rule, but for this feature he did obtain permissions from the bakers in question - just so you can have all the guilt-free chuckles you like. So, enjoy!

In cakery--as in many things--good intentions and earnestness can only get you so far. And then you need good looks. Right? Imagine a world where Ross Perot has his own reality dating show on Fox and then tell me I'm wrong.

So when I swing a callous word or ten at these cakes based on the, uh... "likeness" of Daleks (mechanical mutant aliens) from the BBC TV series Dr. Who, remember that I'm a shallow, shallow man fixated merely on appearances. My words do not reflect upon the care, goodwill, and love that went into these cakes.

(Although, for my money, "love" means giving someone at least a halfway-decent-looking cake. C'mon, people.)

For the record, this is what an actual, honest-to-goodness Dalek looks like, for you non-adherents of esoteric British sci-fi TV shows:

And now... won't you join me in my callousness? (Or in my shallowness. Reader's choice.)

5)


This bloated bastard is the Dalek cake that ate the Dalek cake that had been recently chastised by its doctor for its dangerously unhealthy weight gain.

4)


Kind of a sad little guy, isn't he? I look at this and think, "The perfect 40th birthday cake for the man who's given up on his dreams."


This started down the road for "Dalek cake," but took an unexpected detour at "Nah, let's just cover a banana with whipped cream and stick some chocolate balls on it, because I've got a wicked case of the munchies after that bong hit I just had."

2)

Source, inspired by: 1 and 2

I'm sad to report this Dalek looked perfectly respectable before an ugly incident with an angry, runaway microwave.


Is it just me, or does the top half of this "Dalek" remind you of the giant, asteroid-dwelling creature from The Empire Strikes Back that tried to eat the Millennium Falcon?

Bad space snake. Bad.

Find more awful geeky cakes (and awesome geeky cakes!) at Great White Snark.