Doilies and Squiggles and Spray Paint, Oh My!

It's time again for everyone's favorite:  WEDDING WRECKS!

(Well, everyone but the bride.)

(And possibly the baker who may or may not have been assaulted by the aforementioned bride)

 

What the bride wanted:

 What the bride got:

 

Hey, Jen has a dummy cake in her office this exact shade of Wilton Spray-On Blue!

Proof:

Don't ask.

(Or do; Jen's rather proud of it.)

 Moving on...

 

 What the bride wanted:

 What the bride got:

I like to imagine a bakery order sheet somewhere with the words, "Pink, brown, and squiggly" all checked off.

 

(Btw, "Pink, brown, & squiggly" is the name of my topless Vegas act.)

 

 What the bride wanted:

 What the bride got:

To be fair, it's probably just the lighting.  Really, really bad lighting.  Like hospital lighting.  Or maybe morgue lighting. Heck, I bet every body looks like this in a morgue.

 [Later that day:

 "John, why do we have 300 emails from morticians?!"]

 

 What the bride wanted:

 What the bride got:

  When only the best will do: Doilies.

 

Thanks to P. C., Jenni S., Brett R., Esther G., and Jen for keeping the baby cake locked in the closet and away from the knives...

*****

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Remember, Whatever Happens Out There, We Are Total Prefessionals

It's Administrative Professionals' day, minions, a time to A) thank your professional assistants, and B) force local bakers to write ridiculously long, hard-to-spell words on cakes.

SO LET'S GET TO IT.

Oooh, so close.

If they only had spell-check for cakes, am I right?

Hang on, what's this? THEY DO??

Well, THAT's clearly helping.

 

Hey, I know: why not skip the hard-to-spell stuff altogether, and just get down to the heart of what you're trying to say?

 

...but maybe a little less honest.

 

And less sarcastic.

YES!

 

I mean, uh, no. See, while literally everyone can appreciate a good "assets" pun, today you really want something more personalized to your actual assistant. Maybe start with their name?

[head hitting desk]

 

[muffled talking into keyboard] No, no, see, you need to make your workers feel VALUED and RESPECTED and... what's that? You already ordered the cake? Oh. OK.

I'm sure they'll love it.

 

Thanks to Jenny L., Carrie C., Helene W., John M., Celeste G., Lani R., & Tera L., who I appreciate in a completely non-creepy, totally prefessional way. MWAH.

*****

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