Mist Marx

And now, everyone's* favorite:
MISSED MARKS!!!

(*May not be your favorite. You may prefer cakes that look like wangs. Which is totally cool. Weirdo.)

Ashton H. wanted a pretty princess carriage like this:

...but I think she picked it up after midnight.

Womp WOMP.

Felicia F. ordered this stunner for her Uncle's birthday:

"I like... GOOOOLD!"

But instead, she just got stunned:

Shoulda gone with a schmoke an' a pancake.

Also, sometimes I like to amuse myself by referencing Austin Powers villains.
Because everyone needs a hobby.

Jyoti K. asked for this adorable princess cake:

D'awww.

But instead, got this:

D'aaaaauuuugh!

Nicholas W. actually had his baker send HIM this photo, saying this is what the cake would look like:

Nice!

Soooo...

Turns out...

It didn't really look like that.

And finally, Roshnid H. ordered this peacock cake:

Now, I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if Roshnid's cake ended up looking like the Loch Ness monster with a bunch of shaving cream on its nose?"

Well, my friend, YOU ARE IN LUCK.

Because yes:

Yes, it would.

Thanks to Ashton H., Felicia F., Jyoti K., Nicholas W., & Roshnid H., who suspects that may actually just be a floating log - but WE BELIEVE.

*****

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A Cake Wrecks Guide For Nervous Brides

Every time we publish wedding wrecks, we get comments from worried brides afraid their cake will be the next one featured on Cake Wrecks. This is both understandable and terribly selfish, since the rest of us depend on your misfortune for our daily chuckles. HAVE YOU NO HEART?

Ok, ok, fine. I guess I can spare a few pointers.

1) Check your baker's previous work.

Remember, you want a cake pretty enough to move your guests to tears:

...not tiers that move themselves.

Also, let's save the Reddi-Wip for the wedding night, mkay?

And the condoms, too.

2) Pick a design that isn't too complicated.

For example: "Fuzzy yellow caterpillars, pink sea anemones, and eyeballs"

...is too complicated.

On the other hand, bright colors, black vines and listless despair are perfect:

...for arranged marriages in bad gothic romance novels.

So unless your wicked guardian is forcing you to marry a man you don't love so they can bilk you out of a fortune you never knew you had whilst the wind howls mournfully across the tempestuous moors, I'd suggest something a tad more cheerful.

But not this cheerful.

3) And finally, make sure your design is appetizing.

After all, no one is going to want to eat a cake that looks like you used it to juice Cookie Monster.

(Ewwww.)

Thanks to Holly J., Lorie B., Ben C., Olivia X., and Arielle C. who are probably wondering if that last cake tastes like cookies or sweaty fur. (And if they weren't, I bet they are noo-ooow!)

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Hey brides! Use this handy printable checklist to make planning easier!

☐ Well-made.
☐ Contraceptive free.
☐ No eyeballs.
☐ No tempestuous moors.
☐ No dead Muppets.
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*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.