This Cake's Got Balls. (No, Like Literally.)

Hey, do you know what Truck Nuts are?

If you do, congrats, you're from the South like me. YEEHAW AND HOWDY.

For the rest of you, Truck Nuts are dangling testicles for your truck. I wish I was making this up.

Anyway, the reason I mention Truck Nuts (besides seeing how many times I can type "Truck Nuts" in this post) is because NOW THEY MAKE THEM FOR CAKES, and the world will never be same.
(Hamilton high five heyooooo)
(Truck Nuts Truck Nuts Truck Nuts Truck Nuts)
(Ahem.)

Y'all ready for this?

Keep scrolling; this needs a proper build up.

And while I've got you here, I'm open to suggestions on how to post this to Facebook without getting banned.

Again.

(Lousy naked turkey cake.)

Almost there, now.

Still ready?

Here we go:

But not like that.

Ew.

OK, for real now:

Great Blushing Beefy Bow-Balls, Batman!

I'll give you a moment.

Honestly, there's something almost poetic about a sparkly pink cake with balls. It says, "Hey, I like sparkly pink cake and bows, AND I HAVE BALLS." Y'know? [nodding] Yeah. I like that.

Thanks to Rebecca H. for really busting our preconceived ideas about masculinity.

*****

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Animaniacal

For many wreckerators, no cake is more of a tongue-out, slightly-hunched-and-grunting impossibility than an animal cake. It's not for lack of trying, mind you. ("Squished Shih Tzu" is actually a bakery standard these days.) For all their trying and failing, though, there are times when the results are actually kind of cute. Kind of. In a mutant sort of way.

For example:

Now, the poodle is a ridiculous looking dog. You can tell by how ridiculous it looks. You would almost think it would be impossible to make it look any more ridiculous, but if so, the yolk's on you! Haha!

Or maybe on this guy.

Now this little fella...

...is a chinchilla. I would very much like to snuggle him.

I don't really know what this is:

But I would also like to snuggle it. And maybe nom an ear.

This is a blow fish:

He obviously disapproves.

And this is a blow fish on antidepressants:

Any questions?

And if you think that bakers only try to make cutesy animals...

"What? I'm cutesy!"

...think again:

From the genus Crocodillius Seinfeldus.

Sometimes wreckorators double their efforts:

And, in some cases, they double their wreckage:

But at least this case also has some nice roses.

And finally, when an animal is really complicated:

"I'm complicated."

Wreckorators tend to just wing it:

"Meh. Hedgehog, hedge pig... same difference."

Thanks to Tim A., Stephanie D., Shirley L., Nathan M., JoeyJoJo and Monique R., who are all toy-gers. Toit toy-gers. Rawr.

*****

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