Comb The Dessert!

Like so many brides, Robyn M. found the perfect cake for her wedding on Pinterest:

Now, let's be real, Robyn. That cake? THAT cake? There are like 4 bakers on the planet who can make that cake, with all its tiny, perfectly-pleated ruffles and its flawless ombré fade. Ok? Ok.

Anyway, I'm guessing Robyin already figured that out, because...

SHAPLOWM!!!!

Whoop.
DARE 'TIS.

(It's like a cheap lingerie shop exploded on it. Can't you almost feel the scratchy nylon? Mmmm.)

Ug, you know what? I can't even with this today. So...

Ugly:

Ugly:

REALLY ugly:

We've gone from suck to blow!

 Which means it's ugly.

Aaaaand... ugly:

DONE!

You may now eat the cake.

Or... not.

Thanks to Robyn M., Mallory M., Angela B., Anna W., Anony M., & Richard B. for combing the dessert. (Eh? EH?!) Now... check, please.

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Resolution Time

Each January, millions of people around the world use the dawning of a new year as a reason to stop eating HoHos. And each January, millions of people fail miserably.

[shaking fist] (I wish I knew how to quit you, HoHos!)

But not this year...

This year, I resolve to:

Eat more fruits and vegetables.

This counts, right?

Cut down on my caffeine intake.

...especially while baking. It makes your hands shake and there's nothing worse than dropped Bawls.

Take responsibility for my mistakes - even the itty-bitty ones that no one else would ever really notice.

The frownie face shows I'm sincere.

Learn Esperanto.

So I can be more like Captain Kirk.

And finally, stop selling babies on the black market.

...or at least start packaging them better. (Customs can be such a pain in the butt.)

Thanks Rachel T., Lisa, Alicia G., Monique R., Jessica R., Karilee S. Hmm, Captain Kirk, beer and herpes. I think I remember that episode...

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