10 Wildly Inappropriate Come-On Cakes

NOTE: No, really, these are wildly inappropriate. Not safe for kids! (Work should be fine, though.)

And now...

10 Wildly Inappropriate Come-On Cakes
for International Flirting Week

Looking for love this month? Then why not try baiting your love hook (ew) with cake?

Punny and to the point. Best of all: No horsing around!

Admittedly, this will only work for half of you.

If you don't have access to cake, you could always write up one of those cute "love coupons."

So many jokes, so many relatives reading this blog.
(Hi, Mom!)

Just remember to keep it clean.

Awwww YEAH. Good times, indeed.

Maybe you don't want your cake to do all the talking, though. Maybe you just want it to be more of a conversation starter. You know, like this:

"You down with it?" [eyebrow waggle]

"Who likes oysters?!"

"Welcome... TO THE GUN SHOW."

Or if you really want to impress, try a quick serenade:

[singing]

"Oh let me be... YOUR TEDDY BEAR."

Mrowr.

And as a last resort, remember: sometimes bribery can work wonders.

"FREE MUSTACHE RI.. [noticing children in the room]... er ... slices!"

"And hey, just so you know: I come with free balloons."

o.0

Clean-up on aisle MY MIND, please. [shudder]

Thanks to Allison H., Cortney K., Michelle M., JM, Lauren E., Johnny D., Rosebud, Lara K., Lauren G., & Cat for the pick-me-ups.

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Valentines Strategery

Valentines Day is next week, so it's a good idea to start strategizing now. I mean strategerizing. I mean stratavarigizing. I mean WHATEVER SPELLCHECK YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME.

[What you're not seeing - other than me yelling at my screen like a madwoman - is that spellcheck is telling me "strategizing" is spelled wrong but "your" is right. IRONIC, idn't it?)

Ahem.

I'm going to assume you haven't already proceeded with Operation Dump Week, so let's move on to plan C:  Choosing the right gift.

First of all, remember that you can never go wrong with roses.

 

  Unless they're these roses.

 

 Or these ones.

 

 Or...SWEET MERCY, has Sleeping Beauty been on another rampage?!

Ok, maybe instead you should go with a single, long-stemmed...

....tape worm.

 You know what, forget the roses. Teddy bears are where it's at:

Or, sure, decaying gophers could work too, I guess. 

Here's a good option if your guy/gal is nicknamed "Poo Bear:"

A yellow-bellied Poo Bear? Nice one, bakers.

You could also just stick to the Valentine basics: you know, hearts, cupid arrows, that sort of thing.

That's it.

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

 Sing it with me, Kathleen S., Lindsay R., Maria V., Suzanne, David G., Amanda S., & Caroline M.: 

Shot through the heart!

And you're to blame! 

You give loooove

A BAD NAME.

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