Dump Week

It's National Dump Your Significant Jerk Week, or as I like to call it, Dump Week. That's right, folks, it's time to get out now before you have to spend another Valentines' Day shelling out the dough for over-priced chocolates and stuffed animals!

And really, what better way is there to end a romantic entanglement than with CAKE?


Now your ex can drown his sorrows in beer and buttercream. Unless he's out of beer. Or hates cake. In which case, this cake is PERFECT.


For some reason I get this one a lot. You know, from you readers. It's usually followed by a "I promise I'm not a stalker," and a request for my home address. (No joke.)


If you prefer a more subtle route, there's also this option:

  "Allow me to point out that the arrow pointing to the representation of the amount of my love is actually larger than the representation of the amount of my actual love. 

"If you're not getting this, I've also prepared a pie chart. On a pie."


Then there are all the old standbys:

The Outraged:


 The Relieved:


The Psychopath:


But for my money, I'll always prefer good old fashioned crazy:

If I find a jam filling, I am OUTTA HERE.


Thanks to Sarah H., Kjaere, Lesley M., Birdy, Olivia C., and Erin W., who will always hold a special place in my heart, and we'll always be friends, but I'm at a really complicated place right now and just need some time to think about who I am, you know?