My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

7 Cakes For "Dump Your Significant Jerk Week"

You know I love love, minions, but it's the week before Valentines Day. This is no time to get soft! No, we must be HARD. And DRIVEN. And I DIDN'T mean to make this a dong joke, but HERE. WE. ARE.


Let's start over.

Do you have a significant jerk in your life? Is it time for a fresh start? Do you need a cake to help you break things off? Then get comfy, my friend, and allow me to present some prime dumping options:

1) Give it some finality:

"Also it's not me, it's you."


2) Try some good old-fashioned mocking:

I'm guessing Shawn doesn't like "girly" stuff like pink flowers and overthrowing the patriarchy. YOUR LOSS, DUDE.


3) Remember, it's the thought that counts:

Also we're equal opportunity dumpers here. Buh-bye, Roxanne.

(Here's an easy mnemonic: you'll want to dance once the in-laws leave. So it's "riddance.")


4) Draw her as a weasel:

You laugh, but with the proper setup I bet an icing weasel could be devastating.


Of course, if you want to dump someone with cake, why not use a dump cake?

As you might imagine, I have a few options in this category:

5) The Poo-Poo Platter:

Here' you've got your basic poo-wangs and poopermint patties, plus a scattering of rabbit pellets, 'cuz there just wasn't enough crap on this cake.


6) The "You're A Dried-Up Old Turd:



7) The "Thanks, But I'LL PASS":

"Also maybe see a doctor, because something is seriously wrong with you."


Thanks to dumpees Justin C., Thomas B., Roxanne S., Kevin B., Ashley M., Danielle P., & Tauni J. for getting it all out there. Don't you feel better?


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (9)

I think the weasle is adorable....but I wouldn't change the name to "devastating". It already has a big head....Oh, and it needs a bigger mattress....What if it has a slumper party?

February 7, 2019 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Why does the label on the 'cream cheese brownies' not even identify the red stuff?
And what is the 'chocolate wave cake' supposed to be?

February 7, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

Number Five is supposed to be a barbecue. The little black things are the coals.

February 7, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLaShawna

One-eighth sheet, seven-eighths...

February 7, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

That last one... I will call an ambulance for the baker! Yikes!

February 7, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

That last cake is nauseating! And what are the 3 big turds for?

February 7, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterlfie

"Composed" this morning:
The time has come to say goodbye
To Jed and all his s---
And we would like to thank you folks
For putting up with it

February 7, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChristopher

The chocolate turds are icing covered in chocolate ganache. The cake decorator I worked with hated making them because room they took forever to make. It was iced, then frozen. After waiting a day, she'd cover it with the ganache, then froze it again (for backstock) before selling. I don't remember them being super popular, for obvious reasons.

February 9, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterDither

I give you the perfect soundtrack for this post: Spike Jones' classic A Serenade To A Jerk.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

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