My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

This One's For Ken

Patricia L. asked for "musical things" like notes and bass clefs on her friends' birthday cake.

She got this:

Sing it with me, now:  

"I knew you weren't treble when you walked in
So shame on you, yeah!"



The baker told Kimberley F. her cake was too small to fit "happy birthday" on it, so Kimberly said,

"Well, since my sister is turning 45 you can just put a big four and five on it, instead."

"four and five" = 11 letters
"happy birthday" = 13 letters

[banging head on keyboard]


And finally, to this day, Mary and Gus still don't know who Ken is:

What do you know, Ken?


Thanks to Patricia, Kimberley, & Mary and Gus for keeping the mystery alive.


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And from my other blog, Epbot:

« 7 Cakes For "Dump Your Significant Jerk Week" | Main | If You Don't Start Singing "Pretty Woman" After This Then Something Is Wrong With You »

Reader Comments (20)

"four and five" = 11 letters
"happy birthday" = 13 letters
With that logic you might end up with:
which granted isn't as bad as many cakes featured here.

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLauraB

Well, at least those cakes will be memorable to the recipients for puzzlingly funny reasons, rather than horrifying/disgusting/disturbing ones like some wrecks...

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

The first cake may be a tribute to the way the decorator pronounces some words. Beyond that, your guess is as good as any.

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

The last one made me choke on my yogurt. Remember when Dan Rather was attacked by guys asking "Kenneth, what is the frequency?" I bet it's the SAME KEN.

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJuls

The 1st thing I heard in my head for the 2nd thing was Lawrence Welk (sp?) doing his "Anna ONE, anna TWO...! (Anna think you might be looking for a butterfly net...)
[Hey, at least it was "somewhat" musically relevent... but nothiing to do with cake...or anything else, for that matter.]
=^-.-^= <(Who IS Ken?)

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

"What's the frequency, Kenneth?"

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterErnestine G.

Bwah! Now I want to know who Ken is and what he knows!!! Is it about the death of Mary and Gus, who apparently went out adventuring in the jungle and woods and never came back?!

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterBob

That last one is awfully sinister. What if the cake decorator's instructions got mixed up with the instructions for a member of an international spy ring?!

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

FORGET THE MATH! Music may "thinks", but that first cake STINKS! And, the FOUR AND FIVE =NINE, so...maybe it's the baker/decorator, whomevers's IQ??? Last, and thankfully so, this smacks of subterfuge..."Your mission, if you choose to accept it, could mean-BLAH BLAH..." (cue Mission Impossible theme music)(And have a nice day!)

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

To the tune of Auld Lang Syne

Should music thinks be iced on cake
And the lines say "four and five"?
What does Ken know
That we don't know?
Are those blue flowers still alive?

For wrecky thinking won again
And your cake will make you laugh.
All we need are carrot jockeys now
Oh and clearer thinking staff.

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSomeone New

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterRoy

Technically "Four and Five" is just one letter short of "Happy Birthday" if you count the spaces.

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJackie

*Stares in WTF*

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

1) Music may think, but it seems this baker forgot to engage his brain.
2) Nine!
3) What? And Barbie doesn't?

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMike

2. "Tell me the story again, Mommy. The one about how I was born twice." "Well, dear, you started coming out a few minutes before midnight on December 31st. Then, for some reason you ducked back in (can't say I blame you) and came out again just after midnight. So you're four and five!"

3. This must have an epic backstory. Until it surfaces: Perhaps Ken is some mutual acquaintance of the wreckerator and the customer, who because of his power of 'imagination' can possibly explain what happened with this cake. Ken must be found.

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Honestly, I can't stop laughing at the "Music Thinks!" That is a wreck that makes me ridiculously happy. Mary & Gus -- are they retiring and moving to a cabin in the woods with the bears (possums, what animals are those anyway)? They are? Excellent -- talk to Ken -- he has the map to the cabin. :D

February 6, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

All the comments asking who Ken is..... all I can think of is Bart from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency wandering around asking "Do You know Ken?"

February 7, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJeneric

@Craig: That's "information," not "imagination."

February 7, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterBob

Perhaps I'm just old, but that last one had me thinking about A Fish Called Wanda 😂

February 18, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJen

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