Write 'Em, Cowboys!

Hey guys, it's time again for our Annual Texas Cowboy Poetry post!

(My apologies in advance to Texas, cowboys, and poetry in general.)

Ahem hem hem.

swirling poo vortex
moistly encircles my horse

keep it off the boots.

******

There once was a rodeo clown
The best of the whole bunch, hands down.

A real Texas Star

He's sure to go far

If he'd just stop horsing aroun'.

*****

Dangle the Dog's show had to close
The problem? Right under his nose.
Since it's hard to erase
the things on his face...

Now he just does puppet shows.

****

Kill.
Kill, kill, kill
KILL!
Killllllllllll....

Kill kill.

*********

And for our grand finale, we'd like you to know that John wrote the next one. That's right, JOHN DID IT. So it's not my or Sharyn's fault. We're just saying.

Take it away, John!

Once upon a morning dreary, while I sat there, drinking beery,
Thinkin' 'bout this girl I'd ogled at the game the night before.
How we went back to her trailer, thinkin' I was gonna... uh, regale her
Shame she fell into the baler, just below the hayloft door.
"Geez Louise!" I screamed in terror as her bits lay on the floor.
"Now she's boobs... and nothing more!"

Thanks to Jodee R., Erica D., Tug T., Samantha R., Kristen, Emily S., & Willow M. for helping John get that off his chest.

*****

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Why Suzy Needs Therapy

"Mo-ooom! Have you seen Giselle?"

"Suzy, what did I tell you about leaving your dolls lying around?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? So you're telling me you don't remember any of the HUNDRED times I've warned you about leaving your toys strewn around the house?"

"No."

"So you don't remember what I said yesterday? About what would happen if I found your doll on the floor one more time?"

"Ummmm... Maybe you said something..."

[silence]

[whining] "But I want my dolly! You HAVE to give her BACK!"

"Oh, don't you worry, honey. I'm sure she'll turn up after dinner."

That's cold, Chad C. - real cold.

*****

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