Texas Cowboy Poetry

You guys, this weekend is the 27th annual Texas Cowboy Poetry Gathering! 

Naturally, I had to get in on this action.


[adjusting beret]



Hat, Spur, Cactus, 

Star, Shoe, Cactus


My boot is too long in the toe



[fade out]



If you ever see a shoot-out one day

Here's a tip for surviving the fray:

Though terribly brave

It's best not to wave


Something I learned the hard way.



Let go, Rodeo.

With your leather-creaking Ugg boots of brown,


With your ghostly black-eyed heads floating down

With your taffy-bodied squashed creepy clown

Let go, rodeo.




Texas is a state full of dairies

And Texans sure love Ben & Jerry's

But you know what else sells?

Edible shot gun shells


Especially when mixed with strawberries.


[UPDATE: I'm sorry, guys. I just couldn't find a way to make "Blue Bell" rhyme with "strawberries." ;)]



The best kind of horse

Is the one freely given

That wasn't half off



As a cowboy I was born in the saddle

And walking was the real battle 

I prefer riding, of course

But there's something wrong with my horse...


 So I guess I'll just have to waddle. 

[jazz hands!!]


Thanks to Amy, Brittany C., Nick G., Rebecca S., Anony M., Kaitlin K., Jennifer F., Kara H., & Gina T. for not giving me a hard time about rhyming "waddle" with "saddle." UNLIKE SOME HUSBANDS.