My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Spam Poetry

Usually my spam filter is pretty accurate, but this week I've gotten three e-mails that read like some kind of post-modern word salad poetry. I'm assuming they're spam, but then again, maybe they're really some hip new literary project by postmodern word salad poets. Eh? 

So in the spirit of artistic discovery, I've decided to illustrate these literary feats with the most appropriate cakes I could find. ENJOY.

Subject line: hey! :) My name is Margarito!

Artillery fray, 

I must articulate smoothly, it is a terrible wise of many enemy, 

this godson of tormenting children,


...and children cheerful.

èḥῥộ_ ḣûῂ?ṕẹvќћ (??) 

[That is a line of unintelligible characters which I can only assume was supposed to link to overpriced weasel aphrodisiacs, but since it isn't clickable in the original e-mail I can't say for sure.]

And painting it I soothe said to exception: 

"it is the riverside of the disadvantage 

and He has sent it to flit my shipboard crustacean."

::flit flit flit::

Alternatively, here's a shoe board crustacean:

[bowing] Ah thank you, thankyouverramuch.


 Subject line: Good day, my name is Nathanial :)

One notwithstanding 

he did with more sincerity bluff so strange in Moscow,

 a life of astounding but salutation, 

(C'mon, what are the odds I'd find a cake of a butt salutation?

(Oh, sorry was that just one "t"? My bad.)


Piping and plating, he was degenerating.

(You know what they say about small pens, right?)

(Smaller pocket protectors.) 

Subject line: hey!! My name is Broderick!

The amass had feigned, 

but coldly was some embody thereon.

Cuttlefish assureed merrily as jersey began talking, 

amiably bashful, 

with drowsy one sponge emerge at her foresight to unify its broth on her.

Whoah there, Bobby boy, you're not unifying your broth on ANYBODY today, hear me?



Thanks to Steve B., Shannon P., Candi F., Alexis I., Heitha B., Rachael E., Anony M., Kylie S., & Audra B. for the wreckiest cakes in all the 'verse.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

« All Intensive Purposes | Main | Oooooh... SO CLOSE »

Reader Comments (6)

re:#8 No face…no, No hair on the back of her head…No, her boobs slipped…no… it's a dead guy, who suffocated in his pink pillow.

December 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

This sounds like one of two things. The first is when they run Google translator so many times it doesn't come close to making sense, but can be absolutely hilarious. The second is it sounds like so many of the hysterically bad translations that you can find on the website "Engrish".

Gosh, I just thought up a third possibility. Jen, maybe this is wreckerator's revenge. You know how many of these bakers can't spell or do good grammar. Maybe this particular bunch got together and spammed you for making fun of their cakes, and because it seems like English isn't their first language, maybe this was the best they could do.

December 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike

These are some weird cakes, funny but weird.

December 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJo

Quick! Help! Jen's been taken over by Vogons!!!

December 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

I am still laughing at the butt cake and the small pen cake. Someone must have angered the wreckerator gods the morning those were made lmao I am still dying of laughter.

December 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

The 'butt salutation' is truly impressive, even by CW standards.

@Mike: I think it's really just option #4, the spam is randomly generated but with specific parts of speech to form what could be grammatically correct sentences (sort of Mad Libs style). This technique to evade spam filters has been around for years.

December 16, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterOtherJim

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