Baby Gilbert Better Be The Pirate Ship, Is All I'm Saying

Warning: Fondant nipples ahead

(And I love my job.)

I've never had to tell anyone they're pregnant, but I like to think I'd do it with style.

You know, like this:

Wait for it.

...

!

See, that's what we call a... PREGNANT PAUSE.

(Bonus points if it's not his birthday.)

Mom-to-be Anne wanted her bakery to really emphasize the "ARE," and boy did they:

Please be a pirate please be a pirate pleasebeapirate.

Which brings me to something's that's not so much a pregnancy announcement as it is an object lesson in the importance of proper comma usage:

YIKES.

And last but most disturbing, I decided to see if we have any "pirate baby" cakes in the ol' CW archives. You know, just to fit the theme.

Guys, my search DID NOT DISAPPOINT:

 One of you did this. ONE OF YOUUUUU.

::high five::

Thanks to Leah R., Anne M., Bradford C., & Brianna E., who should know that John and I did discuss censoring the top, but ultimately decided to Free The Nipple Carrot Jockeys.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Hush... Or Else

[whisper-singing]

Hush, little baby, don't boo-hoo
Mom's gonna buy you Winnie-the-Pooh

And if that Pooh bear just won't hug
Mama's gonna get you a smiley bug

If that bug should start to bite
Then Sully here will make it right:

But if that monster still won't do

Then oh no! Here comes Mickey the carnivorous sociopath again!

The End.

Today's post has been brought to you by the delightful bedtime storybook, Go the F**k to Sleep.
(Ok, not really, but it seemed appropriate.)

Thanks to Ashleigh S., Erika, Rebecca E., & Medusa for making sure the yolk's on Mickey. (Because I think those are eggs. Maybe. With... chocolate. I'm scared.)

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot: