Bride/Baker Communication 101

Most brides think that bringing in a photo of their dream wedding cake will help clarify for their bakers what it is that they want and expect on their big day.

[shaking head] Those sweet, silly girls.

In reality, these photos are more like "guidelines." A springboard, if you will, from which the baker may or may not spring - and then into heretofore unheard-of realms of artistic "expression."

Perhaps some examples will help.

Bride Laurie S. asked for this cake, only in ivory and with blue flowers instead of white:

(Photo & cake by Martha Stewart)

Instead, she got this:

"It's boxy, and it's blue and white. What more do you want?"

Kirstie also wanted a cascading floral design, like this:

Which her baker recreated pretty well, except for one key detail:

They used real flowers instead of sugar ones.

Once the petals shriveled, Kirstie's cake design became less "cascading flowers" and more "attacking butterflies." Which isn't horrible, I suppose, but it is kind of hard to resist the urge to flap your arms and shoo them off.

(Note: The silver thing is their topper, which the baker laid flat instead of standing up. Or maybe the butterflies just knocked it over. :D)

Sharon L. wanted this gorgeous topsy-turvy design:

(Made by Lisa's Creative Cakes - and I totally want one.)

...only in 3 tiers and using her colors of fuchsia, orange, and lime.

Her baker's interpretation?

Remember that springboard I mentioned? Well, some are a LOT springier than others.

And finally, this bride wanted her seashell-themed cake to rise to new heights:

Instead, she got one that was apparently dropped from great heights:

Think it was served with a pancake dinner?

[snicker]

*****

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The Name Blame

I know bakers see a lot of unusual names these days, but sometimes you've still got to wonder: 

 ...are they doing "the drugs?"

 (That's me channeling a little bit of my mom for you, right there. She puts a "the" in front of everything, like going to "the Walmart" or seeing "the Star Wars" or disowning "the daughter.")

Not cool, man. NOT COOL.

There are so many wrecky butterfly cakes coming in this month that my first thought for this next one was that it actually wasn't so bad:

Oops. 

(Funny thing: this one's a lot less phallic than most butterfly wrecks, too.)

From a bakery that uses a lot of clipart:

(Yes, really.)

On the plus side, I've *seen* most bakery clip art out there, and believe me, this is an improvement.

Do you think this next baker finished the cake, looked down, and thought, "Hey, what a coincidence!"?

(And no, for you positive Pollys out there - the birthday boy was not named Nemo.)

Now, you might think you could avoid your own birthday wreck by just having nothing on it.

And, hey, you might be right.

Or...

....yeeeah.

Thanks to Kasha D., Windy S., Anony M., Heather K., Aisha A., Sue P., & Kristen H. for not naming any names.

*****

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