NOBODY SAY "SPERM"

Sometimes bakers like to stretch themselves by making unusual object cakes. You know, stuff you don't usually see made into cake. Everyday things. Mundane things.

Stupid things.

Like this tiny broom.

And bikini bottoms:

JUST the bikini bottoms.

(Part of me wants to believe this is a Spongebob cake gone wrong.)

And this... tree?

Because when I think "festive party food," my first thought is, "I dunno, maybe a tree?"

Some conjoined pencils:

It's like those snap-and-share Popsicles, only ugly and harder to eat.

When I turn 44 I hope someone gets me a confusing baby shower cake:

Complete with lil' poo pile.

(It's a key. How do I know? YEARS OF EXPERIENCE.)
(Also Julie told me.)

And finally, there's this tall drink of water:

Which would be really boring if it weren't for the... captured tadpole.
(Yes, we're calling it a tadpole.)

Ahem.

Sooo, yeah. Way to stretch yourselves, bakers!

NOW STOP IT.

Thanks to Megan J., Heather F., K.B., Kathy B., Julie, & Leslie, who claims that "tadpole" rings a bell. [head tilt] Nope, I don't see it.

*****

P.S. In case this post wasn't painful enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.
*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Easy As 1,2,C!

"Ok, Mr. Johnson, we're going to take a quick look at your tax forms for last year, alright?"

"Nooo problem."

"Great. Let's start with your dependents. Now, how old is your daughter Emily, exactly?"

"Oh, she hasn't been born yet. But not to worry; the wifey and I are working on that, IF you know what I mean!" [winkwink]

"Er...unfortunately I do, yes. And forgive me, but I couldn't help but notice from your previous returns that little Levi has been one year old for quite some time."

"That's a, uh, medical condition. Very rare. I'm sure you've never heard of it. But it's completely tax-deductible, believe me - just like his back waxing."

"Uh HUH. And I see that you and your wife, Ann - if that's her real name..."

"Oh, she likes to spell it with quotes. She's French."

"Ah. Well, you and your wife seem awfully fond of naming your children 'Andy.' Why is that?"

"We find it's just easier that way. And you should see 8th Andy with her ferrets - aDOOORable!"

"Look, Mr. Johnson, I'm sure we can get all your dependents sorted out, but right now I'm most concerned about your numbers."

"My numbers? What's wrong with them?"

"Mr. Johnson, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you can't count."

"WHAT?! Of course I can count! Counting is as easy as 1, 2, 5!"

"Three, sir."

"Oh, fine, have it your way."

"And perhaps next we should talk about your hearing problem."

"What?"

Thanks to Marsha N., Darcy P., Carrie Z., Jen M., & Nikki H. for taxing us with today's wrecks. Remember, cake wrecks and books about cake wrecks are completely tax-deductible, guys!

*****

This seems like a great time to bring this back:

P Is for Pterodactyl: The Worst Alphabet Book Ever

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: