My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Like THIS, Not Like THAT

Fellow Cake lovers, I've come to a crisis of conscience.

You all know my stance on cupcake-cakes, and it's a stance that I thought nothing, no matter how delightfully sugar-encrusted, could change.

Then, Wreckporter Iliea S. sent me this photo:

And I have to admit, my friends, I am torn. Torn, like an old sweater! You see, yes, this is a cupcake cake. Yes, it is that crime-against-nature shade of blue, destined to stain, well, everything. By all rights I should treat this "cake" with contempt and move on.

And yet... and yet... I LIKE IT! I really do! I think the googly eyes are adorable! I even caught myself fantasizing about making this for John's birthday in a few weeks! ACK!

There, I said it. [shifty eyes] Now I feel like I need to go to cake confession or something.

Ah, but this post wouldn't be a complete without a Wreck, would it? So if I can't bring myself to label the above CCC a Wreck, I'll just have to go with...

This one!

Woohoo! Now, here the world has returned to its natural order, 'cuz this sucker is as Wrecktastic as CCCs come. Are those side wings supposed to be jowls, or arms? Huh. [head tilt] Well, considering there are cookies impaled in them, I'm going to have to guess 'arms'.

Now, those cookies in the middle - are those supposed to be lips, or is Cookie Monster just choking to death? I mean, overall he does kind of have that death-throes look about him, doesn't he? Still, I wouldn't even want to guess what the white icing in the middle is supposed to be - teeth? Foam? (Ewww.)

And while I'm at it, I really should throw these guys in:

It's a whole host of choking cookie monsters! And Kate S., I DO see the difference, I really do.

And look at this: apparently there are lots of decorators out there who have bad childhood memories of Mr. Monster:

Not only do these guys have a pleading look of terror on their faces, they also have their mouths Wait, that can't be right. What is that, then, a mustache? Oh, and would you please get a load of the icing to cupcake ratio? I mean, daaaang.

Sonya G., did you put them out of their misery?

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Reader Comments (90)

Looks like Cookie Monster has the same plastic surgeon as Melanie Griffith & Meg Ryan!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

I was hoping you liked the first ccc - I thought it was cute but was to embarrassed to admit it....the other's though - need a blow torch...stand back cause there will be a sugar explosion!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThistledew Farm

I think the second cake began life as a teapot cake.
Then, something happened.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterquinn

Please, please, please tell me that the price on the 3rd picture is for a different cake...If any one paid more than $1 for these 'montrosities' they need to be reconsidering their personal expenditure during the current economical state.

Love the blog...gonna have to find some english cake wrecks for you soon!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

The last one makes me think "If Tim Burton created Cookie Monster"

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTracy P.

I have to admit, I like the "choking Cookie Monster" sno-ball-esque cupcakes. I think they're adorable. And I think the Elmo ones next to them are even MORE adorable. Sorry, Jen. :)

The first CCC is very cute. Well-executed and the "random" placement of the half-broken cookies is uber-sweet.

Okay, that's enough hyphens for one morning.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergastronomeuse

I didn't think the tray of Cookie Monster cupcakes looked that bad (although I wouldn't want to eat one), but maybe I was quickly brainwashed by the subliminal advertising on the sign behind the cookie cupcake cult: "You Will See the Difference," and all those google eyes staring at me...

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterReverend Ramona

I made my son a Cookie Monster cake for his second birthday. When the cake was revealed he began sobbing uncontrollably and shrieking "No eat Cookie, NO EAT COOKIE!!" The poor child thought I had murdered Cookie Monster and served his head up on a platter. I thought I had scarred him for life. Fortunately, he is now a reasonably well-adusted college freshman.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlois

You had convinced me that cupcake cakes are a hideous ton of frosting weighing down small fluffed up cakes but the Cookie Monster is gorgeous!! Kudos to the baker!! :D Love your writing style... ur little puns & jokes make me giggle...

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarm

Thank you for my morning chuckle in a computer lab :)

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSuzyhomemaker

Oh, I do like that first one as well. It's sloppy enough to be like the "real" cookie monster!

I just hope that cookie that has the "bite" out of it was a fake bite!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

It's amazing how 3 of these cookie monsters have the "terror eyes". I always felt a little sad for cookie monster though because I knew those cookies never reached his puppet stomach. Just crumbs everywhere.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhorriblelicenseplates

i LOVE the first one! But the rest are just dreadful! The first one is just so-cookie-monster-ishly cute that it makes up for it being a CCC!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna & Matt

I find the Elmo ones (visible to the right in the penultimate photo) to be freaking adorable, however.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterslythwolf


October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCecilia

The first one's okay, I'm not in love with so much blue-ness, but CM must be blue.

The second one kinda makes me seasick because of the angle the photo was taken, so I can't really look at it too much.

I would totally eat those CC's in the third picture, and run from those in the last pic. They're kinda scary.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPrinceton McKinney

I almost choked on my own cookie reading the comment from courteous chihuahua! And this whole choking theme is most unsettling. I just couldn't get my mind's eye to stop envisioning the complete the heimlich to that cookie guzzling cake! I was wearing my favorite white cardigan at the time. Oh the humanity!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah Godin

I like the third picture (and the Elmo ones). *slinks away in shame*

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary-Lynn

I *heart* the first cake! I actually made some cookie monster cupcakes of my own for my son's first birthday. They're not professional, but I think they're better than the ones you posted! :) Check it out:

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah {SCS: Sairabee}

I'm not a fan of the choking cookie monsters, but I have to admint, their elmo neighbors are pretty adorable. I may have to make some of those.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Hm, I do like the first one, despite the blue-poo inducing frosting. But you are right, the last ones look disturbing. Isn't there some kind of quality control that checks whether or not the baked goods will traumatize the children they're intended for?
And that sign behind the tray of cupcakes - "You Will See the Difference" - does it seem kind of ominous to you? I feel like I'm about to be hypnotized, or something.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCoyoteLaughing

i like that the first one has the cookie crumbs on his face like when he eats them.

It seems that with the individual CM cupcakes, the stores just wanted to find an excuse to add a cookie to the cupcake to charge extra!

i also agree - the elmo cupcakes are cute (though would we know they were elmo without the CM next to them?)

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What did Meatloaf sing? "1 out of 3 ain't bad."?

Still I think this is a lesson for you to be able to see that even though all mOnstrosities are CCC's, not all CCC's are monstrosities.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRon and Jessica

I love Cookie Monster, but the icing to cake ratio of any of those cakes makes my teeth ache. I couldn't bring myself to eat any of them.

And the blue mouth for years afterwards? Ew!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRaisinCookies

That first Cookie Monster CCC is adorable! (Don't feel bad Jen, there are exceptions to every rule). But I about peed myself laughing at the others! They should be titled Death By Cookie.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I say this with love, but the furrier of the muppets have a tendency to be a little matted and look rough around the edges.

Cupcake cakes look rough around the edges, so it's a good match.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I like the first one too (the word "COOOO-KIEEE!!" definitely comes to mind :-) ), but yah, the rest are definitely Cookiesaurus wrecks. As for the third pic: Ouch. I hope the $9.99 refers to something else in that display case!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAaron of Minneapolis

I just literally laughed out loud--at work no less! Totally busted.

Anyway, this was an awesome post, thank you for the laughs.

I especially liked the wording of "a whole host of cookie monsters..."

Keep up the awesome work!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrebekah

Hee! I agree, that first cookie monster is absolutely adorable. And you know, all the really best rules have exceptions. So you could just say this is an exception that proves the rule.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoultrygeist

Okay I love the top one. He is way too cute!!!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Ellen

poor crucified cookie monster!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElmo

I love your blog! I come here to have my daily dose of laughter. Thanks, and keep it comin' :)

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMechelle

Well, the first one is okay, I guess... but as with the Van Gogh one, I can't help thinking it would be even better made from a normal cake.

One thing all the Cookie Monsters have going for them: Cake AND cookie. That has to be at least a partial win.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKansas girl

So I wake up a little depressed this morning and shuffle over to my computer - coffee in hand - to survey all that is wrecktastic this blue Monday. Little did I know how blue it was...

Nothing cheers like Cookie Monster cupcake cakes gone wrong (and right - I agree the first example is adorable). Suddenly, all is right with the world. Thank you Doctor Jen. You are so much cheaper than Prozac.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

I like how the picture of the individual cupcakes with cookies shoved in them *the first one from Kate S.* has a sign that says "PIE 9.99" above it. whaaaa????

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSARA

Those last ones? Yum, yum, yum! Too bad the cookies are chocolate chip as they ought to be, or that would be pretty much the perfect cupcake. (Can you tell I like frosting?)

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRonnica

that first one is well done, considering it is a cupcake cake. which is my way of saying that i am still morally opposed to them.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterevil cake lady

"C" is for "CakeWreck" and that's good enough for me!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Wow, I think the frosting-to-cupcake ratio on those last ones has to be around 50-50....

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMari

I have to say, I think the first one is cute too but the rest.........please SAVE ME from the cookie monster nightmare that I fell into!!!!!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I am in love with the first CCC... and the third picture! Adorable!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJanet S

That first one is cute as a button! I'm going to force it on some child I know who has grown up in the age of Dora the Explorer and the Wonder Pets and hasn't the faintest idea what Cookie Monster is.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteriheartyourguts

Almost every post someone comments that they laughed out loud at a picture...and while I think you are VERY clever and I love this site, it had never happened to me, and I kind of thought they were blowing smoke up your ass.

Until today.

Oh, and katie...that song is now stuck in my head. Thanks!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHotch Potchery

The last ones look like they have their poor little eyeballs smashed up against the fluorescent tube. Eeeep!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

well its still a ccc, but its a cute one. I agree with one poster that it really would have looked better as real cake. the other ones horrify me.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

I ran screaaaaaming from the display when I saw the Cookie-Monster-has-a-porn-'stach ones. Then I realized that I had a duty to document and share with Cake Wrecks.

The idea of buying them to release them from their unfortunate situation never occurred to me - if it was just ugly, I could force myself to eat it - but these had too much frosting for me.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSonya

NEWS FLASH: Cookie Monster Dies When Game of "Chubby Bunny" Goes Horribly Wrong

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

WOW...I might have nightmares of lots of cookie monsters staring at me!

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea Frederick

My mommy used to make me Cookie Monster cakes (and I got to put the eyes on!), but one year she didn't have any blue food coloring and he wound up being an albino. I still hold it against her. (Not seriously. Okay, a little seriously.)

That second cake there looks more like a Yip alien...I know because I have a homemade Yip costume and the ping-pong balls sit right on top of my head.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfunnycide

Hm....... the last one looks like it has enough icing to put you in a diabetic coma.

October 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMad Izatie

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