I Think I Just Lost My Appetite


People, I’ve seen some bad cakes in my time, alright? Poor execution, bizarre subject matter, awful color choices - you name it. Still, nothing has ever made this baked-goods-addict put down her fork until today.

This looks like something the baker found moldering in an old shower, covered with fuzz. It's shiny, but lumpy. The brown and bile-green meld together just a little too organically - and is that a spot of acid yellow I see under the pile of green in the upper left corner? Speaking of which, what is that green stringy crap supposed to be? It’s just randomly plopped on in disgusting wriggly masses....

[averting eyes and taking deep breaths]

Urk. Ok, sorry - back to the commentary...

And that texture: short of applying the icing with a brillo pad, I don’t know how one would achieve such a pitted, uneven surface. Was there a shortage of spatulas? Of icing? Of people who can see colors? Sure, I get that this is supposed to be camouflage, but do the personnel at toxic waste dumps even wear camouflage?