My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Now THAT'S What I'm Talkin' 'Bout

I'm pretty sure I would have ordered this cake back in high school:

Yep, back in my teen glory days I was that lone female in the convention-going, calculus-loving, and occasionally kilt-wearing* crowd. We spent our spare time calculating the dimensional mass of the various Enterprises, learning useful terms in Klingon, and saying things like "I believe this calls for a colorful metaphor". It was awesome.

Seeing the ol' Enterprise D here in all her crookedly displayed glory brings it allll back. In fact, I think this cake is a metaphor for my formative years: it's awkward looking, slightly imbalanced, has large gaps of inactivity, and is easy to misunderstand ("prooper"?) - but despite all that, it still has a good heart (right over the 'i'- see it?).

Hey, diskgrunt, "tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh’a’"?

* Don't ask.

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Reader Comments (119)

I think you said it all...

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergorgon

Conventions? Star Trek? Calculus? Klingon? I knew there was a reason (or reasons) I liked you!

nuqDaq yuch Dapol?

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDoc

Dochvam vIDop net pIH'a' ?

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLacey

I like the angle, it looks like it's moving into frame!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMari

You can't stretch this one.

It says "Prosper" not "Prooper" but nice try.

It may not be up to your Sunday cakes, but I don't see it as being a wreck so much.

Uneven? check...Not professional looking enough for you? check...

but the prooper? You can't have that. I saw prosper - sorry the cake decorator lady wasn't in YOUR handwriting class in third grade.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I probably would've gotten that cake, too...

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

I might speak Klingon if you asked nicely ;)

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

Oh, I'm glad I don't know what you mean by that.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

This is a cake my husband would have wanted back in high school and even now! He's a nerd to the core- even does grown up versions of D&D gaming and such. Nerds rule!!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Hurrah for high school awkwardness, and a cake which exemplifies it. This cake just makes me smile, even if that blue icing makes my teeth hurt just looking at it.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

Awwwww it's so [i]cuuute![/i] I find it hard to call it a wreck when it's more trekkie than wrecky.

At least they didn't garnish it with bloodworms, Q'plah!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNef

Funny! Not that I know you at all, but I would NOT have pegged you for a Star Trek geek.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpatrice

This is great. Great use of space there, wreckorator!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBryna


You are incredibly awesome.. seriously.. I swear, if you weren't married, and I wasnt married, and one of us was a guy and I wasn't socially awkward and we lived in the same country, I would have totally hmm not ever get enough courage to talk to you hehe

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteralisaz

Live long and prosper!!

We definately need more Star Trek cakes! I keep expecting a replica of the wreck of Troi from Data's dream to show up on here.

I am also a rare female Trekkie, so thanks for being you!


January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It looks like a cursive 's.' I don't think cursive was good choice for this cake in the first place.

I was also a geeky Star Trek watching female growing up. I would have loved this cake. Heck, I'd love it now. Its not like I grew out of it.

Do you know how excited I was to see one of my new friends reading a Star Trek book? She was now my new BEST friend.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKPP

DaHjaj 'oH Qaq jaj Daq Hegh.

Don't worry. For my 10th birthday my parents took me to the Star trek Hilton in Las Vegas. I spoke Klingon almost the entire time.

I seriously want this cake now, no matter the spelling.


January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMadame Hook.

Oh, this is wonderful. I turn 30 in two days, so this is the perfect birthday present.

My friends and I never went so far as to learn Klingon, but I did host a "How to Host a Mystery: Star Trek: Edition" for my 15th birthday. And my best friend wrapped a bedsheet around a cowboy had and made a pretty awesome Guinan, IMHO.

Oh, and we created an original Star Trek "fan fic" type show with a female captain that wound up being very close to what Voyager eventually wound up being.

Oh, and although the spacing is definitely gangly on the cake, I do need to defend the spelling of "prosper." I am almost certain that it's a cursive "s" there, and not "prooper."

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe musishian

It may not be the wreckiest wreck, but I'm glad you shared it for a couple reasons: number one, your always-enlightening commentary, and number 2, I have a great idea for my husband's birthday cake now!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlice

I'm gonna ask (mostly just cuz you said not to):
So what is there to tell about the kilt wearing?

he he he :)

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennyKitten

Wave your Dork flag high!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is that period really necessary?


I am getting this cake for my grandpa on his birthday. Great idea.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

Ah, a girl after my own heart. Sci-fi geek sugar lover!
I have boy/girl twins, so I had lots of naming possibilities, but I resisted the temptation to be THAT parent. They did dress up as Luke and Leia for Halloween when they were 5 though.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercarrie

As a girl who tried to get 1701-D for her license plate in high school, I too would have ordered this cake; but the Vulcan/Type A person in me would have been made nauseated by the crooked and badly aligned picture and writing.

Give the decorator a ruler and have him/her "make it so!"

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh

Is this a cake!?Fantastic!XD
I can't to eat it too beautiful.
I have never seen such this cake!:)

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternon-non

No, no, no...I saw prooper at first too, even though I (too) knew what it was supposed to say. What P'tachk made this cake?
Oh, and I think that the space above the writing is where you are supposed to put your Spock hand prints (Grauman Chinese-style).
\\// Live Long and Prooper!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OK Jen, THIS explains everything about you and your literary genius!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


ahh, the goofiness of high school nerds (myself included).

Gotta represent!

The fiance would be proud of it.... Mr. Trekkie that he is. lol.

WV: Press: I love the press-on quality of the picture. It look very authentic.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaryn(intrekdenial)

Jen, I think we could have been good friends back then (this, plus your love of Ghostbusters? WIN!!!!)

And re: the cake-- I absolutely *love* the period at the end. Resistance is futile!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlawgirl

I would so totally order this cake this very minute. I must now retire to my nerdery and fondle my Next Generation DVDs. :-)

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Just when I think you can't get any cooler ...

I'll be first in line to buy tickets to the first Cake Wrecks Con!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I wonder if the person ordering the cake gave the instruction "Leave room for the action figures"?

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

I would still order this cake!!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPoetry Sue

Now my husband will want this cake for his birthday!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoan

"Captain's Log, Stardate 29.67:

Today Spock helped to make my birthday celebration complete by ordering a birthday cake with my favourite ship on it! Wow. Uhura has more talents than she lets on..
It's my birthday cake, my ship. You can't have it! No. One. Will. Have. My. Ship."

Ooops. Sorry. But that cake is really good!

~Amy B.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Sorry to burst your bubble but the heart over the "i" is not a heart but the shadow from the immense dot of icing.

Also, I watched Trekkies once and, while I'm a nerd myself, you people are a little weird.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavey

My friends and I ordered a cake similar to this one (only it was ice cream) for our friend Rick in high school. We were all in the same boat... a little ackward, and totally digging star trek. We even made our own movie version. LOL

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBreeAnn


Terrible. That's The Next Generation Enterprise above the Original Series catch phrase.


January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nerd alert! ;-)

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDon't call me Kat

Whoa, weird that somebody got all up-in-arms about the "prooper" bit.

Because I totally looked at the cake too fast, and I managed to see "Live Long & Pooper". Totally not any better.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLacey

heh, i watched that show as a kid...always confused me.
for the record i thought it said 'live long and pr(infinity sign)sper...which might have been klingon for something. *shrug*

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbecca.elpy

Yeah, cursive was not the best choice for this. I completely misread that as "Live Long and prooper" too. Then I realized the decorator meant for that letter to be an S.

you know what else makes this a wreck? It feels unfinished, like they forgot add at least two things that would have made this a kick-a** cake.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCalantha

If I'd recieved this cake when I was about 14, I would have died and gone to heaven. I didn't make with the Klingon so much, but did use my Technical Guide to the Enterprise D to make a scaled drawing overlain on a map of my town, just to see how big that old girl really was.

Ah, the glory days.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMazarin

Why do I suddenly envision a cupcake cake in the shape of hundreds of tribbles...

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarian

Sometimes looking at websites involving food make me hungry & I try to avoid them during peak snacking times. Cakewrecks, however rarely induces me to much. I appreciate that in a blog. Thank you so much for keeping the munchies away and injecting wit and sarcasm! A winning combination!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

OT - don't forget to vote for Jen!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNihilady long as the blog doesn't go on past this point in Klingon, I'm ok.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMad Izatie

I used to be a Sci-Fi girl geek (hell I still am) in my High School Days at Bronx Science. There was nothing I loved more than Dr. Who.


January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEloni

Tribbles! Ha! [wiping tears from my eyes]

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

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