My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Really? I Mean, Really?!? (Yes, MORE Turkey Wrecks)

Apparently my top "20" ways to wreck a turkey cake just weren't enough for you guys. I know this because some of you are:

a) complaining that the past two days' Wrecks don't technically add up to 20, and

fork) still sending in a truly dizzying array of Wreckage that simply must be shared.

These include gems like...

the Clown Turkey.
[insert joke about a funny taste here]

The Electrocuted Turkey:


The Albino Technicolor Dream Coat Turkey:

At least it's pretty. Which is more than I can say for...

The Vortex of Insanity!!! Turkey:

Someone, somewhere, actually thought this was a good idea. Let's take a moment to really let the impact of that sink in, shall we?

Some of you requested more non-cupcake-cake Turkey Wrecks, though. Nooo problem.

[rapid blinking]

Uh...How do you feel about cupcake Turkey Wrecks?

Turkey snails!
(Just one question: how do you pick them up?)

Rasta Turkey Snails!
(With...chicken heads? Ok. Sure. Why not?)

Ok, Ok, now for some "real" cakes:

Well, the *turkey* looks pretty good, but that green pterodactyls attacking him could use a little work.

And lastly, here's a foul fowl that could give the Coiled Crap Hound a run for its money:

Sweet Steaming Swirls of Stacked!! Yeah.
That sorry sucker sure seems surprised.

Jen D., Jaime H., Jen L., Amanda S., Gloria C., Jen P., Bonnie L., & Elaine M., don't look at me like that; I'm sure there's chocolate sherbert*

- Related Wreckage: And Now, a Word from Your Thanksgiving Turkey Cakes

* Also spelled "sherbet", "shebert" and "shrbrt".

« In Which Happy Tanks SHOULD Be Given, But Are Not | Main | Talkin' Turkey Tuesday, Too »

Reader Comments (113)

The turkey cupcakes kind of look like what might happen if the Heatmiser and a turkey loved each other very much...

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

The first one looks like an animal wearing a turkey as a suit.

"It puts the lotion on its skin...."

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@MyOlderBrothers

eeewww, those first and last ones are REALLY bad...*shudder*

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarianne

Through the tears running down my face, let me applaud: Brava! Bravissima!

...and ask for a fourth helping tomorrow!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

I actually like the Albino Technicolor Dream Coat Turkey. It has boo-tiful plumage (really!), and a nice face. Perhaps a bit confused at how it ended up with a white neck and colorful tail, but who wouldn't be.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

I would actually not baulk if I got the albino technicolor turkey. It looks festive! The others will make me see turkey again, in a different sense. Blech!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Dotson-Thomson

a-maz-ing what they've done with alleged turkeys!

methinks someone was on something when they created that vortex of insanity. yikes!!

that last wreck was snort-worthy.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

Are those Turkey Snails or Psychedelic Hedgehogs?

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oh dear. That is one helluva poo turkey.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTindy

Good question. How DO you pick up those cupcakes?

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOMG! It's RHIANNON!

That clown turkey is going to haunt my dreams.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermiss. chief

Fork - Ha!

And "poo turkey" is my new holiday expletive.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

clown turkey looks a little like the Elephant Man. (shudder) with punctuation on his forehead. and a French mustache over his tongue. wearing a rennaissance collar (think Elizabeth I portraits). (and what is the mass of cake
behind him supposed to be?)

#2 must have pissed off Zeus. He looks like he's been shot by 5 bolts of lightning!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoanne

Whew! I saw that last one (or at least one VERY similar) at my local market last week. I tried to take a picture, but my phone was out of memory. I was rapidly trying to delete, when the baby took a look at it and started wailing. She was either scared or wanted her diaper changed... maybe both.


November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL! Great alliteration in that last description...

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAMW

Who knew that the Turkeys could be so endless in its wrecktatude!?!?!?

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBryna

"The Albino Technicolor Dream Coat Turkey" LOL!
reminds me of a dove surrounded by shelf mushrooms--the kind that grown on trees.

Is the Vortex of Insanity a mosaic stepping stone? (oh to stomp on that wrecky little face!)

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoanne

aw, the cupcake wrecks look like cute little turkey cancan dancers with poofy dresses!

or like they're wearing clown wigs.

turkey cake--what's with the corsage on the lower left? (wimpy orange icing and half-assed airbrushing, too!)

the last one looks like "the panic before the flush"

btw, anyone think yesterday's spoon cake looked like Lady Tottington from "Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit"?

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoanne

I love those jumbo cupcake ones, they're adorable! The rest, ok yeah I see where you're coming from...

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

I am re-thinking having that turkey dinner tomorrow after all. Perhaps I'll have a nice bowl of spaghetti instead.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

Numbers two, three and four (or B, III, and 8/2, as Jen might say) actually look pretty good-- just not at all like turkeys. The Electrocuted Turkey is one of the least horrible CCCs I've seen, and has a certain ... er ... energy ... to the design. And even the Vortex of Insanity Turkey is charming, in a sort of "Art Brut" way.
But the others ... Crikey!

Before next Thanksgiving, I'm going to see if some foundation will give me a grant to educate people about how turkeys actually look. For example, did you know that they are birds, and have feet, wings, tails, bodies, and heads with beaks? These photos, if I can get the photographers' permission, will be attached to my grant proposal to demonstrate the evils of allowing people who have never seen a turkey (nor, apparently, even a decent picture of one) to try to potray our favorite Thanksgiving entree'.

Can't resist this WV code: quesseso. What Spanish people say when they see the Coiled Crap-Turkey: ?Que ess eso?

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I like the technicolor dream coat one. I wouldn't be disappointed if I picked that up. Happy Thanksgiving!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarahJayn

The 'electrocuted' is very "shocking"! lol

The vast range of turkey 'wrecks' is amazing. And it makes me wonder if there are any turkey cakes that are actually pleasant to look at.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSheila Bennett

I think the turkey snails are kind of adorable!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL! I'm amazed at what passes for cakes.

DD insisted that I take a picture of a wreck we found soon as I can figure out how to get it off my phone I'll send it to you. It isn't a turkey...we're pretty sure.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

I thought the turkey snails were kind of adorable! Way too much icing, though, and you would have to eat that with a fork.

Capcha: "nomspoo." Appropos of the description of some of the icing in this post, n'est-ce pas?

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEve

OMG the fun never ends. :) WHY do so many wreckerators make cakes that look like they're made of - or decorated with - poo???

Oh well. Have a great Thanksgiving, Jen and John!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

O.M.G. I am so glad I did NOT have a mouthful of pop when I saw the pterodactyl one, because I would have wrecked my computer screen. That was laugh out loud FTW. You are a supastah, Jen!

WV: autstro. Those wreckerators autstro go to a class or something to pick up some better skills.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

Wow, the steaming pile of sherbet, I wonder if it's a distant cousin to the coiled crap hound.

Wonder what animal will become the next pile to show up on CW?

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

the turkey snails will require a fork. or a spoon for all that icing. which may screw up Jen's numbering system (see yesterday's post)

wv: sublerm--rather than sublime, the lame underachievers are sublerm. like these cakes. though albino cake is kinda pretty, for a dove in a fancy costume.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My five-year-old thought the sheet cake one had a high heel on it's head. She also couldn't identify several cakes as being turkeys. Now, that's pretty sad when an imaginative five-year-old can't identify the wreckage!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHope

It's a TURD-key! haha.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

The electrocuted Turkey made me spray Sprite out of my nose. That is the most 'shocking' cake I think I've ever seen on this site (har, har!)

And seriously, the swirled pile o' doody cake? Do you think some decorators are just pushing the envelope to (a) see what people are actually willing to purchase, and (spoon) to see if they can make it on your top 20-ish Turkey list?!?

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

The obvious joke for Coiled Crap Turkey was turdkey. Ha.


November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The technicolor dreamcoat turkey isn't so bad! But the others... wow. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that a small percentage of the cupcakes are really just giant mounds of icing with no cake underneath!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Sherbet and sherbert are both correct, and yes, there is chocolate sherbert--almost black and extremely good.

But what kind of freak eats cake for Thanksgiving anyway? Thanksgiving is a PIE HOLIDAY.

Otherwise, excellent as usual. Thank goodness!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLyn

I thought the Technicolor Turkey and the snail cupcakes were pretty cute. But yes, those cupcakes would definitely need to be eaten with a large fork!

That last one.... is just wrong...

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

The vortex turkey actually made me a little motion sick.

Sadly, I thought the turkey snails were cute but the thought of all that frosting made my teeth retreat back into my head.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Maybe sheetcake turkey is trying to hide among the leaves to avoid becoming dinner. so he wears a fancy headdress and a leafy codpiece. they forgot the outlining in the rear....

WV: hestu--what it sounds like when certain people sneeze. hestu!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

But I don't think I WANT to pick up the Turkey snails, thank you all the same. I think I'll just tiptoe away.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm curious if there is such thing as a good looking cake that also looks like a turkey. I think we might be asking too much of these bakeries.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErika

I'm pretty sure the Vortex Turkey is actually one of those beaded car seat covers.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah

Oh good lord, where to start? First of all, the albino techicolor dream turkey is a rare and endandered species. I would appreciate a little respect. Secondly, I'm pretty sure the vortex of insanity turkey is really the love child of Simba the Lion King and a turkey. And lastly, a poo turkey is nothing if not incedibly appetizing. I recommend using that guy as a centerpiece througout your Thanksgiving feast. Everyone will thank you for it. *sarcasm font*

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterandygirl

Nice alliteration!

Love the electrocuted guy.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDenise396

The grossest turkey cake I saw this season (unfortunately, the picture didn't turn out right) was at the grocery near my home. It was a plated turkey, but sticking out of the back was actual stuffing (ala Stove Top)... not faux stuffing or cake made to look like it.. but Stove Top. ugh.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJTN

THESE ARE AWESOME! I don't think I've ever seen soo many turkey wrecks before and I can't stop LMAO.

Btw, I think that the Turdy Turkey may have just one up'd the Poo Hound ;)

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie G.

The "vortex of insanity" turkey looks like one of the founding fathers in one of those old fashioned silly wigs. Please tell me someone else sees this too?

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSkye

The Albino turkey actually looks all right. Even its wattle is rather artfully done.

The rest want to make me run screaming.

I think the Vortex of Insanity turkey wants to run screaming as well. Just look at that horrified expression!

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I'm starting to wonder if there is such a thing as an attractive Thanksgiving cake, or turkey cake. Although, I'm not sure I'd ever really want my cake to look like a turkey. That just confuses my senses.

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

I saw a mustache on the first "turkey", too. And it looks like it is made of plastic.

The Vortex one actually reminded me of the Cowardly Lion....

November 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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