My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Valentine's Variety

Because hearts and roses and bears are SO last week, here are some... interesting... alternatives.

For the cat lover: a neon pink, vaguely feline amorphous blob, sporting what I can only assume is some kind of euphemism:

"I'm 'purrin' for you"? Do I want to know, Gabrielle H.?
(And Victoria, Anna, & Benjamin!)

For the Star Wars fan: a cake showing Admiral Ackbar's softer side:

"Don't believe him, Haley B.; it's a trap!"

And for you non-Star Wars geeks, this is Admiral Ackbar:

For the H.P. Lovecraft fan: a Valentine's Cthulhu:

What's a Cthulhu, you ask? Eh, wellll, it's a kind of gigantic hideous tentacled thing, known to be the epitome of evil and horror. And as you can see from Melissa O.'s photo, it also comes in plush!

Speaking of plush...

I don't know what this is, Aliza E., but I think I want one. Whether I would hug it and squeeze it and call it George or actually ingest it, though, is anyone's guess.

And here's a Valentine's treat for the...uh...emotionally constipated?

That's it, Ted S., let it allll out.

Well, it's no fungus cake, but it'll do: I'm skipping breakfast.

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Reader Comments (138)

i think the pink "fuzzy" thing is actually cute. However I refuse to eat the turd butterfly.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I think it's a butterfly, I hope it's a butterfly. OU never mind, not on my cake please.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNannie

LOL, I love the pink furry monster thing, but the rest are just BAD!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterV. Nicharico

The last cake is very timely...our little puppy pooped in his cage and my husband acted like it was the end of the world...Guess what he's getting for Valentine's Day???

WV: munchuf - I can't wait to see husband's face when he takes a "munchof" his Valentine's cake.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

The pink fluffy one kind of reminds me of a Furby.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAKAinNJ

Love this site :-).

That pink plushie cake makes me think of a muppet, maybe the Valentine's Day edition featured in never-before-seen clips to be released in DVD boxset form.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Nice to know that Valentine's is not all hearts and flowers. Um... Yeah.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

What were those things? Butterflies? Flying Turdlets? Either way, here comes MY breakfast...

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMallory

nothing like something resembling poop for your valentine!!!!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie P

I think the pink fuzzy thing is a Valentine's Cookie Monster.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Archduchess

The Star Wars one reminds me more of that Tom and Jerry episode where Tom gives the girl cat one of the mice as part of a gift.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZorilita

Keeping with the sci-fi theme... that pink puff is.. a Tribble of course!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPesky Settler

Ugh, that green frosting! Your tongue would look like grass was growing on it for weeks.

Angie (from over at

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

I think you'll remember thats not the first poop we've seen on cake here....

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBaking and Mistaking

My Ukrainian fiance once called Admiral Ackbar the "fish captain" and I said "oh, you mean Admiral Ackbar?" and the group we were with all turned to me simultaneously in shock at my apparent nerddom. I was shocked that people didn't know his name! Of course, this group also didn't know that Chewbacca was a wookie...

But I digress! The green culthu is amazingly gross. WOW.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersergeilovestonya

I think the "poop" is an attempt at a butterfly too! Ick.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCheadle Chick

Cthulhu cake! Love it!!!! (And want the plush Cthulhu, too!)

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMissCritta

I suspect that it's actually supposed to be a monkey holding a heart on that one cake, and not Admiral Ackbar. The thing on the cake looks like it has pawpads on the bottom of its feet, and I'm pretty sure that the Admiral wouldn't have those, since he's apparently fish or amphibian based.

Which makes the cake kinda cute - I'm a sucker for anything with monkeys on it. It's still a wreck, but it's a cute wreck :)

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAuntieshoque

Nothing says "I love you" like a turd butterfly.

Just found your blog...thank you for the laughs!!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Ok that little pink fuzzy freaking cute! I have no idea why, but I want to snuggle it!!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

That pink think must have taken awhile to pipe! Someone put some work into, well, whatever it is.

I'm not buying the Star Wars cake though. I think that is a tad of a stretch. However, the Cthulu cake is just awesome (well, it would be awesome if it were really SUPPOSED to be the Great One).

and the turd? Ugh. I'm glad I'm done with breakfast.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Ooooh - the pink fluffy one looks like a Tribble in love!! Umm - the rest? Not so much....gag!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I would actually love to have the pink fuzz ball muppet-esque one. I don't think I could stomach all the pink icing though.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkara

Love the Daffy Duck/Bugs Bunny reference "I'll hug him and squeeze him and name him George." Nothing's cuter (or scarier) than a 'plush' pink cake with heart cookie teeth!!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The pink thing reminds me of a cross between a muppaphone and fizzgig...

Kinda cute in a "Let me eat it and get a sugar high" way.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the second one is an attempt at a "bear" or a "mouse"

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDinner/Dishes/Drinking

I told my husband that if we ever get a dog, I get to name it Cthulu.

He said I was fired from naming pets forever.

Maybe I'll make him a cake like that out of spite.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkarmapearl

the last me, love my poop?

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentern i l e e y

Thanks for the Bugs Bunny sure are wascally!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertellicherry

That cat cake looks a little like the boneless cat, Choo-Choo Bear, from the misanthropic sit-comic Something Positive.

Choo-Choo Bear would be a great theme for a CCC, since he can take any shape...

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCallahan

I thought the Admiral Ackbar cake kinda looks like an albino ET. I love the fuzzy cake with heart eyes! So funny!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I think the plush thing is a "LOVE BUG" I remember getting one that gitters around on the floor as a kid.

"Whether I would hug it and squeeze it and call it George or actually ingest it, though, is anyone's guess."

Or maybe prop your feet up on it whilst watching TV?

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCommentator

I think they're cuddle-bugs... get it! =)

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpropmaven

The fuzzy pink one looks like a "Tribble" from Star Trek - would fit nicely into the Sci-Fi valentine theme with Admiral Akbar ...

I know next to nothing about Star Trek but I do remember the tribbles - check it out.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlison Hunter

The green thing makes me sick

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMella

I think the pink fuzzy one is a valentine "tribble".

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

My theory on the cat is it's actually a "Purim" cake and is one of those misunderstood phone call cakes.

And I'm sticking to it.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah

The hardest thing for me about the Cthulhu cake would be shaking the idea that his smiling face is flanked by two containers of onion dip.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

I can only imagine what gets stained shocking pink with that first cake. Get a room.

WV: Numbi - Lack of sensation in your tongue after contact with one gallon of Red #5.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEl Comodoro

I wondered when the "turd cakes" would re-enter the scene. Here is my answer...

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

Wow... I really wish I had ate before I checked in this am...

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNihilady

Wow, that decorator really nailed Admiral Ackbar! The giant side-eyes, the mouth that goes up in the middle, it's all perfect!

And that green frosting on the cthulu cake....I could not see myself picking that up to take a bite. Yuck. But at least it's not non-dairy whipped topping, I guess.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

I'd name the cakes:
"Wanna see my err... kitty?"
"There is Dekon in the middle layer! Trust me."
"Have you seen my rendition of Octopussy?"
"Honey, I'm sorry but I had to give them your other slipper"
"Bullet-Poop with Butterfly Wings"

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOats

Suddenly, I feel less lonely and more grateful for my single status this Valentine's Day. At least I won't get poop on a cake!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentereilbeback

If the pink fluffy thing isn't a tribble, it must be a Pygmy Puff! 8-)

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZana

Before I read the text, I also admitted that I loved "George" and wanted to take him home.

But it took me about 4 glances, squinting and muttering to myself, until I realized the plop on the last cake was supposed to be a butterfly.

Also, will someone PLEASE tell me how to pronounce "cthulhu"...what am I supposed to do with that?

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterern

"The emotionally constipated."!!! I'm laughing so hard at that one!

The bright pink "kitty" is interesting. What's even more interesting is that the fact that the whites of it's eyes are also hideously pink. And that disturbs me as much as the rest of the cake.

Oh yeah, and the furry pink thing...whatever it cute.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

That pink thing's just gotta be a Pygmy Puff!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZana

Oh, the pink thing is a" REL="nofollow">Weepul! I remember those from elementary school in the 80s.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMel, Foxtail Farm

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