My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Rockin' Shams

Every holiday I'm forced to wonder: must we anthropomorphize everything?

The answer of course is yes - yes we must. Thanks for clearing that up, Becky F.

Not only is this next incredibly hulking blob supposed to be a shamrock, it's also got quite an infestation going on:

[sucking air through teeth] Hoo boy! Christy M., I'm not gonna lie to you: this is bad. Bad bad bad.

[hitching britches up] Now, what we've gotta do here is get them there lil' buggers out before they start "compromising" your "substructure", you follow? 'Cuz once THAT happens, well.. [shaking head mournfully] Let's just say it's "bye bye birdie". Now, fortunately for you, I just so happen to have a special runnin' this week... [hurrying out to fetch calculator from Hummer]

Aaand the "Worst Attempt at a Shamrock" goes to... [opening envelope]

Alison H.'s "Alien Arms Squashing Lice"!!

[announcer voice] "This is Alison H.'s first win in the Sham category. Her previous nominations include 'Dog Paws on Poo', 'Head's Up! It's Edible!' and the critically acclaimed 'Santa's Sticky Surprise'."

Wow, these St. Patrick's Day cakes are driving me a bit buggy. How 'bout you guys?

« No, No, No! THIS is How You Resign with a Cake. | Main | Sunday Sweets: Get OUT - That's Cake?!? »

Reader Comments (64)

The shamrocks on the first cake look stoned out of their minds (if they have minds, that is).

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

That last one could be a believable minimalist "Magical Broccoli Forest".

Why do I keep making excuses for them? There is no excuse for that cake. I must have some kind of Cakewrecks Stockholm Syndrome or something.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I especially like the bleary-beer-eyed look on the three bar-crawlin' anthropomorphized shamrocks.


March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNathan Crook

You know it's going to be a weird day when it starts with the phrase, "Santa's Sticky Surprise"...thanks for that image Jen.

As for the shamrocks I was thinking it looked like moldy chicken feet myself, but I guess I can go with Alien Arms.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

At least the first one is cute. The other two look like the "artist" had a little too much Jack Daniels before picking up the icing tube.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnn Onimous

hahahahahahahahaha... oh, poor shamrocks. at least they didn't try to do leprechauns, who knows what we'd be looking at...

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah, The New Girl

Please, please tell me that's coconut sprinkles on the sham-blob!!

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPenelope

First of all, I just have to say that the shamrocks on the first one look like they are high on something... Or drank too much green beer??! The second and third "cakes" are just plain SCARY!!!


March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKritterBugg

eeewww what the heck is on that horrible ccc???? my throat sort of constricted at the thought of it...

thanks for convincing me not to make a shamrock cake for tomorrow.


March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaire

Okay, 1) do people not realize that dark-colored sprinkles around the edge of cake just make it look like a mouse came along and finished decorating it? 2)CCC clover-attempts are bad enough, did the wreckorator of #3 really have to make cloverleafs look like they are CCC clovers? 3) What on Earth have those anthropomorphized clovers been smokin'?

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertsemed-chemed

Geez, I thought the first one had happy little elephants on it!

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSteve

that last one looks like cactus

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeah E.

is it just me, or do the "shamrocks" on that first cake look like frogs that are about to blow chunks?

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChefSara

Speaking as a biologist, the last one looks like little hydras.

It's not a wreck, it's a realistic portrayal of aquatic life!

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

The last one looks like something we would have had to celebrate the last day of zoology lab...they look like Hydra (related to the jellyfish) feasting on little water bugs.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterncsudancelover

it really is amazing just how many bad St Patrick's day cakes there are out there....I'm almost afraid to go in the bakery department!

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChelle

That second cake is horrifying! What's with those "sprinkles"?


March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin

I guess the care needed to anthropomorphize the shamrocks on the first one distracted the decorator from the apostrophe on "Patrick's"!

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

The last one looks like Simpson palm trees. Or something.

Angie (from over at

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Oh... ew... maybe that's just a really unfortunate sprinkles disaster on the second cake, but from that vantage point it looks really, really icky. Larvae creepy. I'm having a hard time wiping the repulsion off my face. Just... ew.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

So what have we learned? That, way too many people aparently skipped kindergarten the day that they made constuction paper shamrocks based on simple heart shapes.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdanifae

I can see the work area scene...the person holding the container with sprinkles sneezes. Sprinkles jump out of the container in a blob (or worse, are blown out of the container by the force of the sneeze--hence the stragglers further out....) Decorator sees the blunder, tilts his/her head for a second point of view, admires the random placement of the escaped sprinkles, wipes their nose, moves this cake aside and thinks to himself/herself "one cake down, 19 more to go....."

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those first shamrocks are going to haunt my dreams...

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMzHartz

Don't they have something they could use to help them with shamrocks? Like...cookie cutter? Chalk outlines?
~Amy B

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Are those maggots on the second cake? And what's with the little green blobs beside it?

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhomeschool mamma

AAAHHHH!! I've never seen shamrocks look SCARY before. The first one was just silly, but not too bad. Those last two, though..... Yikes.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

I sure hope "Santa's Sticky Surprise" is chocolate-chip-cookies-and-milk related.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlish

haha! i literally had to turn my head to figure out how The Hulk was supposed to resemble a shamrock.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentervery married

Those top ones look like frogs and the bottom ones look like brocoli. The middle one doesn't look like anything but a blob.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDani

What's behind door #3?

It's a cake decorated with broccoli!

Not real broccoli. Broccoli made from icing. Maybe not even real icing broccoli, but broccoflower cauliflower, broccoli cross made of icing.

Either way if asked if you've had your vegetables today, you can say 'yes!'

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Wow..those are bad!

#1 looks like Irish sperm

#2 looks like Irish germ

#3 looks like #1 met #2

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Taking another look at the "incredibly hulking blob" CCC...

I think that bakery person should redirect her/his energy into creating cactus cupcake cakes. Get rid of the stem, add some lil dots for places the spines grow, and some oblong red shapes for the fruit, and you'd almost have a prickly pear cake.


March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Once again, thanks for making cake not the least bit tempting in my time of need.

First one looks like shamrock sperm.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

First one looks like shamrocks that are attempting to swim upstream to reproduce. And I don't mean salmon. Think the opening of "Look Who's Talking."


wv: cripier. "Aye, faith and begorah, dese Irish cake wrecks are gettin' cripier and cripier all de time."

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRob W.

hee hee...
the.. last... *gasp*

one! hee hee hee

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

shamrocks, broccoli... same thing.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkara

I've never wanted to destroy cakes so bad in my life. Just throw 'em at a wall or something. Ack...

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

Yuck! I wish I hadn't read this while eating my sandwich! :p

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTruly Hideous Gifts

A spore CCC. It bleh.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi 'n' Jeff

Funny!!! My 3 year old walked in about the time I clicked on the first picture and she said, wow, look at those cute frogs.

The last cake looks as if broccoli mated with Kokopelli.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMike Connor

I'm off to look up "anthropomorphize" now.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the wreakerators were counting on the possibility that people would be too drunk on St Patty's Day to notice silly things like shapes and proportions.... I mean, maybe with Beer Goggles on, they look *right.*

That doesn't explain the maggots, though...

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMalMal

My husband thought that shamrocks on the first cake were the snakes that St. Patrick had driven out of Ireland.

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

I have looked on this blog three times today and that second picture still has the Blob from the Emerald City on it.
Where do they get that vile green icing? That's a rhetorical question; I don't really want to know.

WV: bingui=I laughed so hard I pulled a muscle so I had to rub bingui on it. (This may only work for those of us of a certain age.)

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I'm with Bev -- the second cake looks like maggots are growing out of it. Makes me think of "The Lost Boys."

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Wow - my first wreck! I'm so flattered. I did a double take when I saw #2 in my local Super Center. I thought to myself "Did I just find a wreck? Oh heck yeah I found a wreck!"

Donna - you nailed it! That comment is the best!!!

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristy M

Oh, those are brilliant. I was looking forward to the St Patrick's Day offerings. Nothing like a bit of wreckery on your birthday!

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

Okay - those bottom things are either" REL="nofollow">chollas or" REL="nofollow">hydras, not shamrocks!

March 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRana

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>