My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

How Bizarre

I'm feeling a bit random today. So expect...the unexpected. [waggling eyebrows in a hopefully dramatic fashion]


How about a construction worker merman?

I'm sure there must be an absolutely fascinating back story to this, but I don't have it. It reminds me of that time eons ago when Christopher Lowell dressed up as a mermaid on his show, though - anyone remember that? (Wait, what am I saying? How could you forget something like that?)

Here's one for those of you celebrating the torrid love affair between your pet lobster and rubber ducky:

I would pick on the redundancy of "12 month anniversary", but frankly I'm more concerned over this being a stock design. Just how many people out there are encouraging relationships between their seafood and bath toys, anyway?

Or how about this gem from last St. Patrick's Day?

You're really giving me some mixed signals here, Mr. Rich Irish Carrot. I mean, first you offer me monetary incentive to kiss you, but then you go and look all horrified by my appearance. Ok, so maybe I don't look my best right now, but it's still kind of rude to shield your sensitive regions* with that coin. Now pucker up, blue-eyes, or I'll sic my Carrot Jockeys on you.

Anne J., Meaghan L., and Rabi W. & Thomas M., I'll give you a nickel if you write "Kiss Me, I'm a Cake Wrecks fan" on your forehead and photograph yourself in public. (Our advertising budget is up from "nonexistent" to "Whatever I've got in my pocket." So I could also offer you a half-used tube of Blistex. Any takers?)

*Wait a minute - this is a carrot. Isn't the whole thing a "sensitive region"?

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Reader Comments (96)

I love it when the cakes make no sense! I'll bet the story behind the construction worker merman isn't as fascinating as the one you could make up about it.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the ocean.... (ominous music here)

Wow! That's all I've got. And I'd kill to know the back stories of those cakes! Curiouser, curiouser...

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLibbi

On the bright side, at least the baker of the first wreck has good penmanship.....

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

And if your eyes travel downward a ways...Mr. Carrot doesn't even look all that happy to see you.

Angie (from over at

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

did I see a second weird carrot cake in that pix?

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Merbehr...merbear? A really hairy merman? Oh brave discoverer of this horrid relic of some sinister, ancient cult, please post tell Jen of it's demonic origins!

The tragic part of the romance between bathtub duck and lobster is that the lobster can't visit the duck at its place lest it turn into a tasty dinner. Or maybe that's its the witch in Hansel and Gretel.

Keep the carrot wrecks coming!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSho

I love how the merman is growing out his chest hair to cover the beer belly.

Tried to make heads or tails of the duck-loves-lobster cake, and gave myself a headache. Anyone?

Mr. Rich-Carrot is funny. Too bad his eyebrows look like they are along the side of his eyes. It's not helping his surprised expression.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina M.

I think I actually might know what the first cake is referencing!

There's a series of videos on You Tube called 'Charlie the Unicorn'. In the third one, there's a song about how all of the sea creatures love him. I know, sounds corny, but at the end he finds the snowman and his missing kidney. Full of bizarre images and odd humor.

'Candy Mountain, Charlie! Candy Mountain!'

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchristeljoy73

There was definitely a second kiss me I'm am Irish carrot cake in that pic. Incoceivable! (I've been saying that since the princess bride post) I can imagine the convo going something like this...

"OMG I just looked at the calendar, it's St Patty's day and we don't have any green cakes!"

"Boss, why don't we just reuse this stack of carrot cakes, they're not selling any ways?"


May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYota Armai

OMG that is hilarious! Good thing I wasn't drinking anything when the page loaded :D

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

I have, in fact, met Christopher Lowell. When I saw on a billboard that he'd be at Huffman Koos, right at that moment, I told my mother to turn the car around, because we needed to go see the legend in person. I was a little disappointed that he wasn't dressed in women's clothing, but he was still unintentionally quite entertaining.

I would love to get the carrot cake for my Irish brother-in-law. Maybe he could decipher it?

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtaven

No words, just letters to express my reaction to today's collection:

Who knew carrot cakes could inspire such bizarreness? I guess no reason to keep them from the fun just because they include a vegetable.

I kind of hope the back stories will appear in the comments, yet at the same time I'm having so much fun being puzzled and making up my own...

Word verification: perchedp. The Kiss Me I'm Irish carrot has a coin perchedp on his sensitive bits.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Shellfish loverboy
Knows how to protect Duckums:
Build a candy moat.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

You know you've got a real man on your hands when you can't tell his facial hair from his chest hair. Merboy got some serious testosterone there!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKJ

Irish carrots!! YAY!!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

Hey Jen! Have you ever thought of changing your layout?

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica Sandoval

Why did Christopher Lowell always insist on dressing in women's clothing during his show intros.. a bit off the deep end for me! The merman cake is pretty funny!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSnyder Central

Huh? Does that strange duck/lobster anniversary cake have tiny autumn leaf sprinkles around the outside?

I kinda enjoyed the merbehr.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know... I've had the feeling, lately, that something was missing from my life and today, thanks to you, I finally figured out what it is... cakes with hair on them! Fake hair, of course, not real hair... I do still have my (low) standards.

If that's how the Irish carrot kisses I only have one question... is he single?!?!?

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGilsner

How Bizarre
How Bizarre

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I think that's Ron Jeremy as the construction worker/merman. Not that that makes it any less disturbing...

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwundermary

lmao. That carrot is so hilarious and cute! I have tears in my eyes.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

My thought on the carrot cake: Irish people sometimes have red hair and are, therefore, carrot tops.

Got nothing for the merman in the hard hat.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMountain Mama

LOL on all counts. Your horrified carrot commentary make me giggle like a schoolgirl.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenisewalks

Umm..I always thought Mermen were supposed to be unnaturally beautiful, like their female counterparts? That one's repulsive!

The carrot and the lobster cakes just are inconceivable.

~Amy B

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

What amazing sights to wake up to!
Now, then. I do not believe that there is such a being as a "merman" C'mon, face it! Guys are too, er, "fond" of their ("er" again)..."STUFF" be hiding it inside of what amounts to a scaly, legless pouch with fins attached. I do WANT believe that there IS such a thing as a fat-bellied- construction worker-eating WHOPPER of a fish; this one appears to be having a very hard time of getting his "catch" down...*gag*
As for the duck/lobster affair (ain't love grand?), beach his own...
=^><^= *cough*
I got a bigger boot outta the signage behind the ice cream cake. Did you see that? What the hell is "Aussie Vanilla" anyway? Vanilla with an unintelligible accent (like the ads for the "Outback STIKEhouse"?) And the "Mix-Ins"! "White Freddo Frog"? "Freckles"??
Better be obscenely yummy for almost $40 smackers..hate to think you're just paying for "cute."
On to Mr. Carrot. All I can say is that the poor thing's sign ought to read,"PLEASE PUT ME OUT OF MY UGLY GAPING MISERY" instead of "Kiss Me."

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

WTH with the construction worker merman????? My eyes!!!!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

An IRISH carrot?!?! Shouldn't his HAIR be orange instead...? So cute anyway, but so weird!!! HAHA!


May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKritterBugg

a bear is a large hairy gay man.
i'm not sure why he has a tail though

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthat girl down south

Maybe the duck/lobster couple is in reality Duke/Lauren or something like that?
1 year anniversary...correct
12 month anniversary? I don't think so.

Merman is totally disturbing. The only reason I would buy the Irish-carrot cake would be to take a picture and send it to Jen, jajajajaja.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeray

That last one looks like Mr. Hanky with jaundice.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBuffy

Wouldn't it be easier to say "Happy 1 year Anniversary"?

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaryBe

Aussie Vanilla instead of French Vanilla maybe? (You know, when we went through that Freedom Fries stage?)

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anonymous said...
"Aussie Vanilla instead of French Vanilla maybe? (You know, when we went through that Freedom Fries stage?)"
I'd forgotten about that one--good theory!
My personal vanilla doesn't have an accent, so I don't know if it's PC or not. BTW, are we still *mad* at the French? I'm tired, and grudges get heavy after a while...

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

You didn't even mention the fruity pebbles surrounding the ducky and lobster cake.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I think I can (maybe) explain the duck-lobster cake. Supposedly, both ducks and lobsters mate for life. (Or at least, geese supposedly do; I'm not sure about ducks but I'm guessing the designer thought so.)

So there you go. Animals that mate for life = subject matter for weird anniversary cakes.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

that merman looks like a mouth molester

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterque_sara

"WTH" is all that comes to mind on all of these. That, and a big full-body-shudder thanks to Merman. Yikes.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie



A cross between a mermaid (or in this case, merman) and a bear. Bear meaning, slightly stocky muscular hairy type.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

AAAhhhaaha ha! this is even funnier than usual. love the mermaid, and the insane Irish carrot, especially. You made my day complete!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMuum

I rather suspect that the Merbehr thing is a joke having to do with the cake giver's name (probably Mary, being called Mare all the friend Mary actually gets called Mare-bear, kind of like Carebear...) Or his/her last name might be Behr. So you put it together...Mer being the prefix for sea-dwelling mythical creatures, and Bear actually referring to a large and hairy homosexual man. So you get a creature that is half merman, half bear. A Merbehr.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTauney

Miranda...but do ducks mate with LOBSTERS for life???

On a related note, this reminds me (in some incredibly jacked-up way) of something my ex-husband was discussing with his co-workers.

"I mean," he said, "it's like...If you saw a guy running down the street, naked, on fire, with a turtle hanging off his backside...What would be your first question??? Because you just KNOW there's a story there. SEVERAL stories, in fact---but which one do you ask him about first??"

("I'd put out the fire, first," I interjected, as he told me this story. "Well yeah," he admitted, "but I mean, after THAT.")

These cakes, to me, are the individual gastronomical equivalents of the guy running naked down the street on fire with a turtle hanging off his backside.

(wv: redrabbl. The low-budget bakery could only afford to hire the redrabbl of the culinary school; that's why their cakes are so wrecky.)

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGladys

Christopher Lowell did what?! I'm so glad I missed that one - years of therapy would've been necessary for me to think of that again. Wow.

As for the Yeah, I've got nothing. It's just so strange!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwhateverfor

phoenix316 - just how is a carrot irish?! perhaps a potato (a cake with a potato on i'd have to see) i understand but a carrot?
weird and weirder!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I want to see a picture of Christopher Lowell dressed as a mermaid!!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm guessing that two people nicknamed Ducky and Lobster (for his big hands?) had an anniversary. Either that or the images represent each one's distinctive interest. Something tells me that the stock design is meant to combine any of various images for such a purpose.

Still no excuse for "12 month anniversary."

WV: dityrmin -- I am dityrmined not to get a wreck myself.

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

I think the duck/heart/lobster cake really means:
Happy 12 Month Anniversary
to Ducky
Love Crabby
Happy 12 Month Anniversary
from Ducky
Love Lobster, or Lobby, or Crabby
That's my favorite, "Crabby" because we all know that the cake person was messed up anyway, so I think they thought the lobster was really a crab!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersarah Fravel

okay, I must admit, I love that carrot. Its the eyes, man. And look, they thought it was good enough to make at least one more!

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan the Muse

@ Gladys:
About the (weird but funny, by the way) story of the guy running naked down the street on fire with a turtle hanging off his backside...
That image should be made into a CAKE!!! Heaven knows the Wreckorators are MORE than up to the challenge!
And I had to think really hard--because it's fascinating, isn't it?--but I think my first question would be: "What kind of turtle is that?" Followed by: "Ick--it bit that burning guy's ass?" >^ee^<

May 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

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