My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Curbing Their Enthusiasm

I can't quite put my finger on it, but something about these cakes seems to be a little, uh...

anticlimactic? [smirk]

Well, less than enthusiastic, anyway.

Then there are the smart alecs:


At least you can always count on your co-workers to wish you well:

From what I hear, unless Jenn detonates Tabasco-soaked barbed explosives in her hoo-haw for a living, then odds are the delivery is gonna be a BIT more "pain full then" her job. But that's just what I hear. ;)

And we all have those friends who are especially supportive:

All things considered, though, this last cake is definitely the most inconceivable:

Yep, nothing says "Yours is a tragedy that might have been avoided" quite like a cake decorated with real birth control pills. For the women of Oregon! Onward!

Becca S., Lisa S., Ying K., Brittany C., Jenn M., Erin K., & Emily S., this thread on what childbirth feels like is probably the most effective (not to mention hilarious) contraception I've seen.

- Related Wreckage: Mixed Signals

NOTE: No, that last one wasn't really a baby shower cake - but wouldn't it've been funny if it was?

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Reader Comments (108)

My my. That birth control laden cake...I have no words for.
I did have quite a chuckle at the "so you ruined your life" cake.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterobiwankendrobi

The Marge cake is my favorite for so many reasons... #1 being her amputated hand.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

I love the one with Marge Simpson! Hard-core Simpsons fans probably recognize the joke: that's what Marge's shower cake (or is it a card? I don't remember) says when she finds out she is pregnant with Bart.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShasta

LOL! At least with delivering a baby, they give you great drugs. You only feel as much as you want to. You can't get that kind of satisfaction at work. On the OTHERHAND, you can QUIT your job, can't do that with parenthood.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnneMarie

"So you've ruined your life" is the name of the pamphlet that Dr. Hibbert gave to Marge when he told her that she was pregnant! I love it!

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia

The Marge cake is actually a real Simpsons joke (it's a book the doctor gives to Marge when she gets pregnant), so those who are fans would find it funny (and thus not really a wreck) for that reason.

But if the recipient wasn't a Simpsons fan, then it'd be a wreck for sure.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

What's wrong with Marge's hand? Did I miss an episode or something?
And, in all honesty, I'd rather see a cake with birth control pills on it over seeing a cake with condoms. I mean, lesser of two evils and all that.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjedijson

Oh dear God! Alright! Sure! I can live with that!
I can barely read the second cake, henceforth if I had to have one of those cakes, I'd probably have that one. At least I wouldn't know if I was being insulted or not.
Cake 4 looks like a South Park extraction.
Cake 5 raised my eyebrows the most. But I have to agree with the comments, I cannot name one job that is as painful as childbirth that isn't life-finishing.
Xake 6 was a no, and the last one was a good laugh. Good hunting people!

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershikishinobi

How on earth did the baker get so many REAL birth control pills for that cake?? Those things aren't sold over-the-counter, are they?

Maybe they bought them in Canada....!

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterryglights

"So You've Ruined Your Life" is the pamphlet Dr.Hibbards gives Marge when she finds out she's pregnant with Bart.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Congrat's" makes me want to cry... Though I love the Marge Simpson one; takes me back to when I used to actually watch the Simpsons!!! :D

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky Crider

I love the Marge cake and the birth control cake (which is expensive just because of the toppings).

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfeathergirl

awesome post. i mean seriously great. i loved it.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

DETONATING TOBASCO-SOAKED BARBED EXPLOSIVES IN HER HOO-HAW???!!!!! I can't breathe! That's your funniest comment since the "perverted vegetable rodeo". I LOVE this blog!

WV: cednesti, as in "you cednesti things about where she put aforementioned Tobasco-soaked barbed explosives!"

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTamara Mitchell

LOL the pills. Must have been done by someone at Planned Parenthood!

As for me...h00t h00t hysterectomy! I shall not be the target of any of these cakes!

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

The Marge cake is a reference to an episode of the Simpsons in which Marge and Homer find out they're pregnant. The doctor gives them a brochure titled "So you've ruined your life" with a picture of a pregnant woman on it.

But that cake is still wrecky.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennie

Were the creators of the first two cakes just afraid of using the dreaded apostrophe? Probably been burned too many times by it. No such fear on the third one, I see...

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Looking at the pill-laden cake, I can see why they had so many birth control pills on hand -- I zoomed in on the visible label and found "Planned Parenthood." An office party, I would guess.

I find it interesting that this particular cake has a pink rose ("friendship / love") and also orchids ("passion -- friendliness or love not required") Look up the derivation of the word "orchid" for a small coffee-snort.
PS: I think that crying baby cake is actually a CCC. Let me be the first to provide the ceremonial patooie.


Thenk yew.

vw "pefujig" = patooie in Swedish

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNoni Mausa

May the delivery
Be Less Pain Full
then your Job

What, no "you're"?

I'm not so sure that this is Jenn's cake. I think maybe someone named Jenn sent the wrong e-mail to the baker. My guess is that this was meant to go to Jenn's colleague, the mother-to-be.

What I can tell for sure is that they made the new mother play a disturbing round of "guess what type of baby food is in this diaper" at the shower. There's always a really classy cake to go along with the festivites at such a bash. Blech.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous no've got it ALL's EPCOT!!!

Why people assume you don't "get" the jokes, I'll never understand, lol. :)

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

I missed you on Saturday but you have my blessing to take a day off a week.

Click on this link for a chance to win a copy of my latest release The Husband Tree.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

No need to break into the supply of birth control pills-- looking at this cake while at a Planned Parenthood office party would probably quash every sexual impulse anyone in the room ever had, forevermore.

wv: nopreb-- You want these packs intact or open? We could sprinkle them on like candy, nopreb!

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"detonates Tabasco-soaked barbed explosives in her hoo-haw" has got to be one of the funniest descriptions of childbirth ever, and certainly far less painful than the grammar on that cake.

Gonna be laughing about those "Tabasco-soaked barbed explosives" for some time to come.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdulcinea

When I was pregnant, it seemed like everyone wanted to tell me all their labor horror stories.

After seeing these cakes, I am surprised no one worked terms like "episiotomy" or "back labor" onto the cake at the shower.

But then again, that may have been exclusively due to the fear of spelling errors.

WV: coadc-- "Git yer cameras ready, girls, cuz this here's whatcha call a coadc moment."

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm sure the real birth control pills were temporarily donated by the friends of the pregnant lady.

But wow, these are hilarious!!! Hopefully, the cake recipient has a great sense of humor

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

I wonder if the last one was supposed to say 'Organon' (a manufacturer of BC pills) instead of 'Oregon'. That's the only way I can make sense of it...

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBerber

Yeah, the birth control cake was probably made when the Oregon Legislature passed legislation requiring all health care plans to cover prescription birth control.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Detonating Tobasco-Soaked Barbed Explosives In Her Hoo-Haw"

THE best description of childbirth since Carol Burnett described it "pull your bottom lip up over your head"

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTainda

The worst thing about the birth control cake is that the ribbons look like gross used condoms you might find outside somewhere - all dried and shriveled from the sun. Just gross.

WV: resstiv - "Boss, what should I do with the resstiv these pills?" "Oh, just throw 'em on a cake and call it a party"

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBek

I really love the Marge cake, except that the icing looks like it's been through a sand storm or something.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjj

The Simpson cake is actually pretty funny to the hardcore Simpson fans out there. I would have laughed if someone got me that for a baby shower, because I know the reference, and love The Simpsons.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternanpan

Okay, I wanna know the story behind the Women of Oregon cake. I wonder if this was commemorating a state law requiring insurance to cover birth control pills? I know we had to fight for that in Illinois and California (men get viagra covered, but women don't get BC pills? BullS---.)

re: "pain full then" -- when I applied to work retail all over CA, they made me take a personality/ethics test.("If you saw a coworker stealing, what would you do?")

I'm thinking all chain/retail bakeries need to make their decorators take a basic spelling and grammar test. Sheesh.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

okay, first of all, i've wet my britches yet again, laughing so hard at all of these wrecks.

for the uninitiated, that's a direct result of birthing three babies in my lifetime. something they fail to mention at the baby showers.

not sure if it's intended or not, but as a curb your enthusiasm freak, the birth control pill cake reminded me of the" rel="nofollow">benadryl brownie episode.

hoo haw indeed. frickin' hilarious. if this is what happens when you take saturdays off, perhaps a vacation is in order!

awesome post!

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

As a woman of Oregon, I have to ask: Why don't they want us to reproduce?

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfrantically heidi

"Tabasco-soaked barbed explosives in her hoo-haw for a living"

HAH! I had to read that a couple times, just since it was too funny. Oh Jen, seriously, I sometimes wonder about you! ;P
Very hilarious post!

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Terry Lee--

They didn't fail to mention it at MY baby shower! lol

--anony 11:06 (aka CC)

wv: seateat-- What Tarzan means to say is, "Please sit down. It's time for dinner now."

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought the crying babyface cake was a man with a giant mustache at first.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFencey

Just my $.02 on the birth control cake:
The 'ribbons' at the corners... is it just me, or do those totally look like unfurled cores of toilet tissue?
Note to self: ribbons should be any color *other than* paper bag brown.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergirlnblack77

Is that fly paper on the last cake?

But good for the Oregon legislature -- at last.

another Jen

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So, um what exactly is that last cake "celebrating?"

And I disagree with AnneMarie -- I had fast labors and the hospital knew it, so I didn't get ANY drugs.

I still have nightmares about being in labor.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarji

That baby CCC looks like it has two rabbits jumping over a tree stump into a pool of oil on it. I don't even think I'm reading too much into it by saying that.

Also, it's the first baby shower cake that's supposed to look like a baby that I'd want to see ripped apart, just so no one would have to look at it anymore. Especially the part where the "oil" leaked under the white icing to form some kind of birthmark over the mouth.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermin.

This blog saved me from my family during Christmas break. Whenever I had a little too much of the relatives (including my own kids), I escaped into the office, where the muffled snorts of laughter, wheezes, and gasps for breath inevitably led to someone commenting, "Oh, she's reading that cake blog again."

Dang, you are funny. Enjoy "you're" days off.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

Oh dear.....The second cake is actually super cute, I love the colors and neat patterns. Too bad the text is super enthusiastic....not.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBookworm

Am I the only one who at first thought the first one said "It is a bog"?

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKarasu

LOVE the Princess Bride reference! I truly do *heart* you, Jen!

My jaw dropped at the birth control cake...ZOMG!

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

I like the little booties on the first one. Cute!

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

This might be my favorite post ever written on this blog.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

You are just awesome...the bcp cake, I just don't get it. Love the work cake, hee hee.

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWkSocMom

Wow...nothing says "Congratulations" like "Congratulations" without the "!" AND a despairing message, to boot (yeah, your job is pretty bad, but don't worry, because pregnancy isn't any better). Wow, again. Way to go in the encouragment dept??? :)

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

To be fair to the first decorator, at least (s)he took the safe route when (s)he didn't know which version of its/it's to use. I'm sympathetic; I always forget the rule. However, I can usually take the 30 seconds to look it up. ;)

January 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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