My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Don't Mansion It

Welcome, foolish mortals, to the haunted mansion. I am your host.

And....I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie,
No other specter can deny,
When a ghoul walks in...

Hm? Oh. (Ahem.) Sorry.

Our tour begins here, in this bowling alley.

As you can see, we have pins and needles to spare. (Muah-ha-haa! Puns killed me.)

Ah, but your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding - almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis:

Are these ghosts actually stretching?

Or have they been run over?

Also, what's the deal with this guy?

And consider this dismaying observation:

Strong spirits are a leading cause of gingivitis.

(Look it up.)

We have 999 happy haunts here, but there's room for a thousand.

Any volun...

David, I'm trying to spiel here. Do you mind?

"Is this real life?"

No, David, this is real death. Run along, now.

My apologies.

As I was saying, we find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running Chills!

The Chills are our resident track team.

Now, as they say, "look alive," and we'll conclude our little tour.

Not that alive.

Oh, and before you go, there's a little matter I forgot to mention:

BEWARE...of shop-lifting ghosts!

"QUICK! Mall security is coming!"

Sunny R., Ticara G., Kartrina R., Jill M., Janet, Annette D., Brady, Jenna A., H.M., & Heidi Y., your ghosts will haunt you until you return...all that stuff they took.

« Sunday TREATS: Happy Halloween! | Main | Frightened Out of Their Wits »

Reader Comments (86)

Love the Haunted Mansion lines in this post! You did a great job! :)

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the reference to David! My sister had nose surgery (cuz her sinuses were all messed up) and she was just like that! Man, if we had only had a video camera at the ready..... [devilish laugh]

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJill

I'm the first commenter this morning? I guess no one is awake yet, except Jen. LOL!

I thought the first cake was the ice cream on a Dairy Queen soft serve cone, until I scrolled down further.

The 7th cake is a poo ghost rather than a boo ghost.

The 8th cake - well, I didn't think that sperm had anything to do with Halloween. Or fish, for that matter.

Great post, as usual! You spoil us, Jen!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDiane1611

As a huge fan of the Haunted Mansion, so I absolutely loved this post! Awesome!!!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I love that you are a Disney geek and that evidence of this gets worked into posts from time to time.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

ha! The sperm cake almost made me spit my chicken and broccoli pasta leftover breakfast onto my computer screen.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Haha I loved reading this, imagining Paul Frees narrating it! Gotta love Disney :)

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica



The big butted ghost whooo first appears... he's really cute.

#2, not so much. #3 -- I think someone altered Bigfoot's foot? #4 - um. Uh. Moving on.

I didn't think spider webs could catch onto a non-solid. Ghostly. And a random jellybean. *snort*

I'm still trying to figure out the orange 'glow' around Mr gingivitis toothy ghost.

Real death... cute. Forget cross eyed - this poor critter died when his eyes stuck like that, just like his mom told him they would! Ultimate horror.

The cookie - the cookiecake comes just about on a par of patooie for me as the dreaded CCC. This wreckerator has obviously never seen a real ghost, only Caspar, who does wander about with legs. Anyone else ever wonder why he gets legs?

Orange, yellow, and blue WHAT??? Mini cupcake PULL-APARTS?? Go pull your own parts, please.

Last ghost -- he's too busy being scared to scare anoyone.

Thanks for the ghostly giggles!!


October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Haunted Mansion FTW!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHelene

Lol, white blob with black dots to represent eyes and mouth. Got yourself a ghost right there. Except the coloured one, which looked like little sperm going round in a circle... ew... now THAT is going to haunt my nightmares

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

I've watched so many run-throughs of the Haunted Mansion on YouTube, I picked up immediately; otherwise, I would not have noticed. Kudos for awesome reference, Jen. Kudos indeed.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterUnknownWarrior33

Is it wrong that I find these adorable? 'Specially the shoplifting ghost. And kudos for the Haunted Mansion reference!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Hurry baaack... hurry baaaaack... Don't forget your - wreck - certificate. :)

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey, I'm sure low motility is scary, especially when the news comes on Halloween...

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I like the first one. :D And the Haunted Mansion wins all. My favorite ride at Disney.

WV: gasesses, what real ghosts are made of, what those ghosts will give you

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermimiheart

I'm not sure what's worse -- these cakes or the fact that The Boob Nazi eats chicken and broccoli pasta leftovers for breakfast.

WV: pardeme -- Pardeme while I go find something more tasty than broccoli for breakfast.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterReverend Ref +

Loved the Haunted Mansion references. <3

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Best blog post ever.
<3 Haunted Mansion <3

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJorge

I like that first ghost, it's cute.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaede

I want the piece with the Tootsie Rolls!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Just love the Haunted Mansion references... I make a motion to eliminiate all CCCs. Anyone second the motion?

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobin



Thank you. You're so awesome. This week, I got to show your blog to two people who had never seen it before. I LOVE doing that because the first time anyone sees Cakewrecks, they always laugh until they have to excuse themselves to the restroom.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Love the Haunted Mansion lines! Haha! :)

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWearing History

LMAO even my 3-yo didn't know that the last one is supposed to be a ghost! LOL

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

That ghost baby got SCARY back, whew! (Yes, I am unfamiliar with Haunted Mansion, but Sir Mix-A-Lot and I go waaaay back, heh.)

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

I have worked seasonally at WDW's Mansion for 6 years and this post is completely and totally amazing. I will be scaring small children for the wonderfully hellish week at Disney between Christmas and New Year's. Come and visit!!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStacey Leigh

The one with the orange sprinkles looks kinda delicious. Or like it's suffering from measles.

I like that shoplifting ghost too.At least it has candy on it.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG! I can't believe these are for sale! LMAO

For my (some big number) birthday my sister ordered a cake from Safeway, the major local grocery store.

In the custom wording "your" was requested by my sister. We got "yor". And that was the corrected cake. I'll see if I can find the pic.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKernut the Blond

Hm. I've never heard of this "Haunted Mansion" -- from reading the comments I'm assuming it's a ride at Disney? Anyway, so all of THAT aspect of the post went straight over my head. That probably explains the bits that I didn't understand, or didn't find funny...

But it was all made up for by the shoplifting ghost. Love the look on his face!!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermotherbynature

what's with the sperm cake? "happy halloween, oh, and good luck with trying to get pregnant. we hear you've been having trouble conceiving."

ugh. yecch.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermare

Reading this made me want to ride the "Haunted Mansion"!!!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHope

I tried to read the text in Paul Frees' voice but I kept getting distracted by the pictures.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThatBrunette

Love it Jen!!!

We're getting ready to head off to Disneyland in about an hour for one more dose of Nightmare Haunted Mansion!!!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDenamarie

Look alive, looks like sperm circling. Yikes!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKerethina

Strong spirits are a leading cause of gingivitis.


Oh yes, I'm that lame. The whole post is made of WIN and that joke is the one that made me laugh aloud so that my dorm mates now probably think I confused the dates and actually started drinking today... :3

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertangomenas

Dude, the sperm. Ghosts start out as people, and they have to start SOMEWHERE.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

Jen - I think I love you! This was awesome!!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica W

he's climbin in your windows snatchin your people up trying to wreck em so you need to hide your kids hide your wife and hide your husband cuz they wrecking everybody out here...............

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

Love, love, love the Haunted Mansion! In fact, wearing my Haunted Mansion t-shirt today for a little Halloween spirit! LOVE!!!!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHaunted Mansion Geek


October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPandora

oh my. a bonus Saturday post *AND* it's one of the funniest *Ever*?? Jen and John, you are too good to us. You have *made* my day!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Ghost number 4, in fact not a ghost.


October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

1. The 1st ghost actually IS pretty cute.

2. Cupcake wreckorators should be taken out and shot behind the bakery.

3. What the heck do rainbow colored sperm have to do with Halloween? ;-P

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPilgrim

I LOVE this! And I LOVE you for this! Thanks!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

OK. I actually love that shoplifting ghost. (It's that expression on it's face, "where are the security spooks?") And I think in the case of "ghosts" CCCs actually work. Unlike the rainbow spoo ghosts.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Hahaha :D These are actually kind of cute, in a sheepish sort of way!

I went to Disneyland Paris once, and the Haunted Mansion was both hilarious and scared me witless! I love Disney!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDragon-girl (aka Lucy)

The "ghost" with legs is clearly NT a ghost but a mummy...
Not a good mummy, but a mummy none the less...
Or, maybe my whole outlook on like is skewered because of that HORRIBLE MEALOAF BABY....... BWAAHHHH
I will enverbe the same. (My husband said a little change is not really such a bad idea in my case...)

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anonymous @ 4:45,

I was thinking the exact same thing! Ghost 4 really does look like one of Don Hertzfeldt's cloud guys.

P.S. This really has nothing to do with the post but my v.w. today was "duckswar". No lie.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have no mouth and yet I must BOOOOOOOOO

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

Dismaying? Don't you mean dispiriting?

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

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