My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Flotsam Plops

The concept is simple: take an otherwise passable cake, and then stick a completely unrelated piece (or pieces) of plastic flotsam on it. Voila! Flotsam plop.

Oh, and when I say "completely unrelated," I mean "completely unrelated."

And lo, unto us a carrot cake is borne.
And high, we suspecteth the Wreckerator was. Eth.

Look, this carrot cake was doing just fine without divine accompaniment - so why the plastic angel pick? Did the Wreckerator think that was actually helping, or was s/he meeting some flotsam distribution quota?

Care to pick a pack of plops?

The migrating guitar herd strikes again.

Here's how you pander to fanboys and fangirls everywhere:

No, no, it's not a blue dog - it's a BAT dog. Sha-pow!

Plus, that upside-down bat logo tells us he sticks to the ceiling!

Bringing "downward facing dog" to new heights.

Perhaps you don't think these examples have been ridiculous enough, though. Nooo problem. What would you say to Dora the Explorer's head stuck in another doll cake's lap?

Go ahead. Try and imagine that's just the world's largest, creepiest belt buckle.

Personally, I'd say "Hola, Dora! S-O-C-K-S!" Because that's all the Spanish I know. I never learned what it means, though, so here's hoping it's not something dirty. (Although, frankly, that might be appropriate here.)

I have some thoughts about the snowman in the gal's lap behind Dora, too, but for all our sakes I'll leave that to you guys in the comments.

So, just how bad is the flotsam plop epidemic getting?

This bad:

Because even cake sold by-the-slice needs accessorizing.
And Superman beats everybody at bowling.

Katrina S., Lisa K., Dawn, Frzn D., & Jane D., "flotsam plops" is officially my new favorite phrase. Flotsamplopsflotsamplopsflotsamplops. Heehee!

- Related Wreckage: Totally Cheating

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Reader Comments (87)

Bowling + Superman = Awesome!

As evidenced by the fact that the last picture is on someone's kitchen counter. Meaning they were so impressed with the combination, that they bought the slice. That's just plain good marketing.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@MyOlderBrothers

I think the carrot has...erm...a disease. It should have an ER nurse next to it.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMargot

"Eso si que es" (S-O-C-K-S) means "That is what it is"

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was hoping the first one was announcing the birth of a Naked Mohawk Baby, cause THAT would have made sense!

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Girl In Her Kitchen

In that first one, the angel is waiting for the mohawk baby carrrot jockey savior to be born.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWilliam on the rez

That carrot cake reminds me I need to put out some more cockroach traps.

By the way, in Spanish "S-O-C-K-S" means ... but of course, you know what it means, or you wouldn't have written it here. It's part of a famous joke, which I will leave to the other 80,000 Epcotists to write here. Ich bin ein Berliner.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Eso si que es means "That's really..." so you need another word like...Wrecktacular!! Dory is very scary >:(

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFran

I don't know, it looks to me like the fork is winning . . .

And we all know: forks + bowling= win. That's just simple math.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRalph

EEEEEEEK!!! Was that the end of Dora???

Glad they're finally selling forks with the cakes... even if they will have some frosting on them.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlovesteamykeamy

It looks like the little mouse Jerry is excited to be at the bottom of the dolls dress! ;)

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeanne

Wow. That's some tough Cake Grrrlll Clique! Can't you just hear the head Heather?

"Bring me the head of Dora The Explorer!"


[p.s. obscure pop reference is to the movie "Heathers", lest anyone think I'm picking on them.]

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

Hey, let us not mock other people's religions. Sure, maybe you and I don't understand the religious significance of that carrot, or why it needs to be herald by an angel, but I'm sure there's a good reason.

After all, I've had some cakes that were religious experiences - they just didn't involve icing carrots.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan (Best of Fates)

You realize there IS a Bat-Dog right? Technically, he's a Bat-Hound named Ace. Yep, Ace the Bat Hound. Of course, he wasn't blue, but that's another story.

Oh, and the Bat Symbol upside down merely means he's Satanic, not that he sticks to the ceiling!

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Because Superman beats everyone at bowling! ROTFL!

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulia Spencer

I love that someone other than me remembers the S-O-C-K-S commercial. (Granted, I shouldn't be surprised that you'd be the one to remember and reference it.)*

Also, not only would Superman beat everyone at bowling, but you could write an entire (bad) comic around him going bowling. It would be a charity bowling event, where donations are made per pin, so it's vital that he knock them all down. Most pins would just be crushed by the force of his throws, and any really stubborn pins could be knocked over with his breath. If he ever got a gutter ball, he'd just fly around the world fast enough to go back in time for a do over. Of course, Lex Luthor would try to spoil the whole thing by replacing the hand chalk with kryptonite dust. Umm...maybe I'm spending too much time thinking about this.

*You were referencing that commercial, right? Otherwise, I'll feel kind of stupid.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

that last one looks like they were trying to cove up the fact that there wasn't any frosting in the MIDDLE!

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie G.

The dora 'belt' is actually plastic rings. A shop in england called greggs has them on top of fairy cakes. But they look good and yummy not like some odd belt thing

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commentervegesauras

Most of these are grotesque, yeah, but I really don't see anything wrong with the second one. I take it to be a birthday cake for a guy who's really into guitars, and decorated appropriately -- what's the problem?

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

Part of my job in little Metropolis, IL is to come up with new Superman merchandise to sell to fans and I never once thought lets stick shield flotsom ina slice of cake next to a bowling pin. I can't say as the local grocery store ever has either.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterheather

I thought the last one was a last-minute attempt at a "Super-Bowl" piece of perfect CakeWrecks style, of course!

That carrot looked more than a little phallic...maybe it was a "Heavenly Experience" cake?

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Baffling is an understatement.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBellaLovesPink

Don't look down on flotsam plops! If it weren't for plastic items placed randomly on cakes we wouldn't have the naked mohawk baby cake.


April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am missing the S O C K S reference. Please help a clueless girl out!

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Maybe the BatDog cake is celebrating the birth of a lovechild born from the marriage between Ace the BatHound and the Cookie Monster?

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Really? Jerry? Of all cartoon characters....really? I feel that his position in this montage of tag-a-long skirt people is....disrespectful.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteranna

Oooo.....boy, The carrot-heralding angel cracked me up, I want the dog to be saying the traditional stoic "I'm Batman" and that next one with the princesses?

Is she supposed to be giving BIRTH to Dora? Or is she just poking her head out while hiding in her skirt?? Either way, tres disturbing!!

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

It's a superbowl cake, whose wreckorator has done way too much free association therapy!

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCecile

Superman and bowling. Life is complete.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

There's another, more fun, translation of S-O-C-K-S.

"Eso si! Que es?" translates as "Yes, that's it! ...What is it?"

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Really? Jerry? Of all cartoon characters....really? I find his position in this fleet of tag-a-long skirt people....disrespectful.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteranna

"The world's largest, creepiest belt buckle." Love it!

And I think "S-O-C-K-S" is the perfect reaction to those weird princesses and their lap occupants.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMallie

That's taking religion back to its roots.

WV: flarp = the sound I make upon seeing these cakes

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Quite honestly, I'm surprised that wreckreators are so knowledgeable of pop art.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterE.M. Green

Sarah, that makes perfect sense for this site! esp. for spanish speaking fans.

Jen, you're commentary is especially hilarious today!

meanwhile, that carrot looks like the "product" of someone who's been eating too many carrots... Maybe it's the constipation fairy come to help out those with bowel trouble?

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Personally, I like "BAZINGA!!!" more than "SHA-POW!!!"

Back to the wrecks, I really think the individual cake slice gets overlooked quite often when it comes to decorating...I'd really like to see some fuzzy pipe cleaner animals with googly eyes or maybe some dried flowers, cause really, the plastic flotsom is just so mundane :D

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkrazykris

Does that say "speciality" above the doll cakes???

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

@Jennifer, "S O C K S":

There was a radio ad in the 90s for a product purporting to teach Spanish with simple techniques. This was given as an example, and translated as, "that's what it is."

I don't remember the entire commercial, but I do recall a certain radio personality with a short-lived TV program being puzzled when his audience called out, "eso si que es" when he was saying something about Socks (probably referencing then-President Clinton's cat).

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRoland

"But grandma, why is there so much *flotsam* on that cake?!"

"The better to CHOKE you with, my dear!"

Bwahaha :) You know, this post just serves as a reminder that nothing whets my appetite as do random, distracting plastic pieces in my food.

Also, Eso si que es = SOCKS. Rolling on the floor... lol :D Brilliant!

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Love the S-O-C-K-S! I have a few years of Spanish behind me and had no idea what you were talking about!

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually, S-O-C-K-S means
That. Yes. What is it?

Eso - That
Si- Yes
Que es? - What is it?

In the joke, the man is pointing to a pile of socks and wants to know what the word is in English because he doesn't know it.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarina

Hey, hey, hey. What's life without the Holy 'Root'?

Or am I just being wholly rude?

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Why does it seem that beautiful writing, such as on the migrating guitar cake, is always paired with WTF-ery?

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMigrating Coconut

I think the Bloo Poo Bat Dog would exclaim "Shhhi- Poooey!"
-goodfood4ursoul in VA

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"The migrating guitar herd"
Love it--hilariosity!!!!
NOW-- are they winging (or stringing) their way East, West, North, South, or just straight to Hell, is what I'd like to know.
As for Little Miss Green Dress with the snowman "icon"...
It *could* be that she represents the growing trend toward frigidity among doll cake decorations. There's "cause celebre " for everything, these days.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Fun, fun, fun! I love this!

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Flotsam yes: however, flotsam is not deliberately thown in or on, so where's the ship wreck from whence this came?

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEvokative

I guess plops aren't very plopular.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLose That Girl

I actually get why some of these are on there...they're stupid plastic junky ring toys that are extra "goodies" for the kids eating the cake. And having seen a gaggle of toddlers go crazy for otherwise crappy cupcakes that have Sesame Street rings jammed in them, or even my own kid look longingly at the bins of character rings at the cake supply store, I can sorta kinda understand the desire to shove 'em anywhere that fits.

That being said, it's lame design-wise. And nothing excuses upside-down-bat-dog.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

Why *four* guitars? And why are they tied to yellow balloons?
At least all the letters in 'birthday' seem to be there...

The angel is announcing to the carrot that it is about to bear a naked mohawk baby that will save the bakery...

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought this site was about posting private bakery cakes, not those from chain store bakeries. I recognize a Publix (southeast grocery chain)label on one of the cakes (yes, I am that fat, lol). I dunno...these all look like grocery store cakes to me ://.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

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