My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Blunders that Burn

Today's cakey slams are not intentional (honest!), but how are the recipients supposed to know that? Especially when you, the cake-orderer, can't stop laughing?

Two words:"plausible deniability." Let's all practice together, shall we?

When this shows up for Beth's birthday:

"Oh my goodness! Where ever did that extra 'c' come from?!?"

"Yes, Kyle, we ARE celebrating your going away, but, uh...wait. 'Celebrating' is the wrong word. See, there's no exclamation mark, so it's a sad thing. Try reading it in a sad voice."

"But not anymore."
("Just kidding! Hehehe.")

"'Freudian slip'? Don't be silly. You'll always be my angle. I mean, 'angel.' Heheh.
Oh, too soon for jokes? Yeah? Yeah. Ewwww kay."

"Vicky, I can explain. See, at first we thought it WAS your birthday, but then Joe thought maybe it wasn't, so we called the bakery, and...Vicky? Where are you going? Don't you want some cake? AAAACK!!

[wiping cake from eyes] "Well, I understand if that's how you feel about it. Joe, could you come over here, please? I have your piece of cake ready."

Beau S., Kyle C., Laura P., & Amanda P., I mean this sincerely: of all my Wreckporters, you guys are the latest.

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Reader Comments (57)

Now, the first cake, i have to say is funny in a different way. One of my friends likes to say "betch" instead of "bitch" in online speech. Maybe it's a pet name for someone? Trust me, it's not stretching things....

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

My husband has never spelled angel correctly. He always spells it "angle." It's become a bit of a joke.

I hope Beth had a good sense of humor.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Heh, my 8yo daughter just named a webkinz pet "angle", thinking that was how you spell "angel".. She was a bit upset about it.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJason

The decorator for the first cake must be really accustomed to writing the b-word in cursive.

Or maybe they work at a bakery that specializes in those types of cakes.

"Thanks for calling Fancy Filth Bakery, your one-stop shop for cursive cursing and pastry profanity!"

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

It is possible that the first cake refers to Kelly from the Youtube video "Shoes".

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Mmmmm... decorating with toothpaste... my favorite!

Also "your" proud of us until we misspelled "congratulations".

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDennis

Love double wreck sightings -
"Congratuations" and "were" (vs "we're") in the same cake...AWESOME!

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Alas poor Erich. Not only were they proud of him, they couldn't spell Congratulations either! ;)

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershigatsuhana

Your writing was especially pithy and hilarious this post. I think I wish you were my beast friend. (How did that 'a' get in there?)

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Is that second one a Disney cake ordered at the podium? Because if so, it brings LESS meaning to "the happiest place on Earth"!

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterheather

@Wendy - I was good friends w/a guy in HS who was very smart but an awful speller. Everyone in our little group, at one time or another, got a note from him, declaring them to be his "beast fiend."

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWhozat

Did someone seriously order a cake that said specifically "U R" for You are?? Maybe I really am getting old.

....or maybe the bakery is having an icing shortage.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMidnight Ramblings

"Betch" is a common phrase used by Liam Sullivan's character "Kelly..."

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPaigealicious!

Alas, poor Vicky...wonder what she did to offend them so?

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

The chocolate roses on the 'no Vicky' cake are really pretty.

Just looking on the bright side.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

I wasn't going to leave a comment but I couldn't resist the wv:-

andstic, as in "andstic your *@$# cake where the sun doesn't shine"

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

1. They just weren't DONE with that cake yet! Give them a break--
they still have to put on the rest (in extrasuperteensy letters)!
Then, it will read:
"To Sarah,
Do we wish you a Happy Birthday?
You Betcha!"

2. Kyle has been going AWRY, here; they just messed up on the "r". This cake is a warning to him/his family that if he doesn't change his ways, the next one could say "Kyle is being PUT away."

I can't understand the last cake's deal. ...if they didn't want "Vicky" to have a Happy Birthday (with swirlies, yet), why didn't they just leave her OFF the cake?
Maybe she's Alex's mistress?

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

That second one sounds like a thinly veiled threat against Kyle.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlana

I'm thinking the first one is also a Freudian slip.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSherri

Note that on Kyle's cake the icing IS a sad sort of blue as well. :(

and like others have said, it does seem like a veiled threat.

Kyle, your going away.

Kyle thinks," I am?!"

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWakeGrace

Poor Beth!! These cakes made me literally LOL!!

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett Robyn

'Happy Birthday Bitch'? That's just not nice (unless it's actually for a female dog)

Kyle might be going to gaol & all his victims are celebrating.

'You are my Angle' is the cake a mathematician made for his or her protractor.

Wonder what Erich did to make them lose their pride in him?

...poor Vicky.....

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

lolol never know how someone feels

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These "typos" have definitely been my favorites so far!

Being the person who takes the cake order would be an awesome job. As well as the person at the flower shop who fills out the little card.

I'm clearly in the wrong profession.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney Alexis

Hey- my middle mane is beth and today is my birthday! I love cake wrecks.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJolly

The first cake made me laugh, now I have to go watch Kelly - Shoes again.

Maybe someone will make a Happy Birthday Deck! cake.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

I love how enthusiastic Vicky's 'y' is on that last cake. Thinking outside of the border. She might not matter, but, darnit, she's going to make an impression!

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterE.M. Green


Apparently knowing how to spell isn't a requirement to be a cake decorator.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJon-Michael

Hehe. It also doesn't help Erich's cake that congratulations is spelled 'congratuations'.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna

Except for the unfortunate spelling/typos, every one is a lovely cake with excellent handwriting.

wv: persh
I persh the thought of ordering a cake after reading Cake Wrecks.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

you forgot to make fun of those hideous flower things (if that *is* what they're supposed to be) on the fourth cake. ewwwww!! haha.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Your telephone greeting just cracked me up. It would make a great skit for SNL! :-)

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHippie2MARS

I could totally see myself spelling Angel, Angle!!! What a nightmare...

These shoes rule! yeah, the first one is totally from Kelly. These shoes rule!

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You can buy all kinds of Betch merch here:

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For my sister's 6th birthday, we got her a cake from a chain store. Her name is Brett. When we got the cake it said "Happy Birthday Brat". Sadly, that was over ten years ago and I did not take a picture.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

My wife years ago made a cake for the son (Albert) of a friend who spoke with a very, very heavy German accent. For the years we knew her we thought it was cute that she'd call her son "Birdie." So, when she asked Diane to make a cake which would read "Happy Birthday Birdie" that's just what she did. Turns out, after delivering the cake, that was Brigita's was of saying "Birty" - not "Birdie!" Happy, everybody laughed.

- David" rel="nofollow">Aloe Vera 101" rel="nofollow">Holistic Health Info.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter"Guppy" Honaker

Those chocolate frosting roses look delicious.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermyimaginaryblog

Heh, maybe Kyle is her angle- her "acute" angle, that is! :D


May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hmmm, I have a co-worker I'd like to give that first cake to LOL

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M.

We saw a guy in line at Disneyland that had "Angle" TATOOED on the back of his neck. Classic.

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCamille

As my real name is Beth, I'd take the first cake anyway. Love the roses! Give me a buttercream/whipped cream frosted cake and big roses and I'll take it no matter what it says. :)

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Just FYI, got a virus warning today, 5/21, when checking the daily cake. :( Hope it's fixed!! Wreck on!

May 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

The commentary on the 'angle' cake made me think immediately of Dr Evil. xD

May 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAshira deSembre

Maybe Vicky is a diabetic? A third twin that died? Regardless, that cake looks delicious. Some might even say it's roniful! (wv)
- Maddy

May 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hilarious, as usual! I can't imagine making these mistakes, though! (But I'm glad others do make them! LOL!)

May 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjustplaintired

Poor poor Beth whatever did she do to deserve such a cake? Hmm maybe she was my former supervisor in a previous life lol. All of those but most especially the first had me laugh and read them out loud to my husband (who is playing Resident Evil 5) who nearly got himself killed when I read the first one lol. Dangerous cakes these are.

May 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first cake made me snort so loudly that every one came running.

Poor Vicky. She's got no love.
Kyles cake should have has some random fishes on it... as in 'you'll be sleepin wif da fishes'

Thanks for the giggle.

May 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLady of the loch

singing: "You are my spe-cial angle!" maybe mom's a geometry teacher and it's an inside joke? albeit not a very acute one. angle/angel gets misspelled all the time....

the first cake reminds me of what I did to one of my inspectors last week. I put a post-it on a stack of work for him, reading:

"Do this batch 5/17"

However, it was a small post-it so the note took three lines, like so:

Do this

and with my chicken scratch handwriting, it looked like bitch. He thought I was warning him that the lady whose house it was was a a bitch.

I could never be a wreckerator/decorator. I can spell grate (er, GREAT) but my handwriting is awful!

May 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Brooke--are you sure that wasn't wishful thinking? ;p

May 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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