My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Win With Civility

Did you know August is National 'Win with Civility' Month? It's true; the internets told me so.

And since we could all use a reminder from time to time that "polite is always right," I've prepared a few handy tips.

Civility Tip #1 - Always precede a negative comment with a positive one:

Civility Tip #2 - Practice an attitude of gratitude:

And maybe your spelling.

Civility Tip #3 - Instead of rudely pointing out the birthday girl's faults, try focusing on her accomplishments:

Or, if s/he has no accomplishments to speak of, then try complimenting a physical feature.

There! See how easy it is to be polite?

Now, you try!

Ok, well, that's not so much a compliment as it is a reminder of old age - which is never polite. Why not try opening up, instead? You know, tell her how you really feel?

Well, while I applaud your honesty, that's...not very positive.

Ok, new tactic: Is there anything you can congratulate her on? Something worth complimenting?

Ah, much better.

So remember, kids: polite is always right, and successfully kicking narcotics calls for frosted cheesecake.

Don't ask me why; it just does.

Thanks to Wreckporters Whitney M., Birdy, Susan K., Heather R., Andrea F., Gina G., & Janet S., who, for the record, have never had frosted cheesecake.

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Reader Comments (79)

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

That first one has some of the prettiest writing I've seen on a cake in a long time...

I bet "nice clavicles" was an inside joke. Sounds like something a med or nursing student would say.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

"So remember, kids: polite is always right, and successfully kicking narcotics calls for frosted cheesecake."

Because it's easier to kick one habit when you've got another to fall back on. And what could be a tastier addiction than frosted cheesecake? And it would quickly help you add on the pounds lost to heroin addiction. Or something.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJRM

Wonder if the "tolerable" one is a Pride and Prejudice reference?

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

Please tell me these are all friendly jokes (well, except for not going to jail and kicking opiates - those can be real).

Word verification = screblin - Wreckerator: "Hold on a minute; I've got some screblin to do on these here cakes, coz folks wants words on 'em."

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

The 1st and 3rd have great handwriting! (Thinking positive.)

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

I guess I'd rather be called "tolerable" than ... a whole bunch of nastier things.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRita/Fighting Off Frumpy

*teaspit* Aw, geez, I just cleaned the screen yesterday!!

About lost it on the 'never been to jail'.... But I love the celebration of noteworthy accomplishments!!


August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am going to ask for my cake this year to say 32 and Never been to jail. I think that rocks.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMummy

I'm hoping the first two cakes were for people in the hospital? Or maybe the second one was for somebody in jail, and it had a tasty, iron-rich file filling?

- DB

wv: musedata, as in, "they were not a musedata their cakes!"

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the subtle joke in the last cake is hilarious.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What exactly are those marks all over the 60-year-old's cake? Animal print of some sort? Confetti? Wrinkles?

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

For my mother's 60th birthday this summer, we got her a cake that said "Happy Birthday, you're 8 1/2 (in dog years)".

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterantikythera

I also wondered if "Tolerable" was a P&P reference, but shouldn't they have added an "I suppose" to really nail it.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

The "clavicles" one made me think immediately of this fight from Metal Gear: Ghost Babel ...

Yeaaaah, giant nerd hat over here. :3

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTony

Clavicals? Is that something similar to clavicles?

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Poor Whitney! They hate having her around AND they nom her cake before she can photograph it! That's cold, man.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

this post reminds me of Home Movies' Compliment Song:

or was it supposed to???

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAris

Mmm...I'd take 'never been to jail' as a compliment if I could have that cake. It looks delicious.

Even better, I might pick up opiates if people were going to get me cheesecake when I quit! Yum :)

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

I think that the black things all over the 60 year old's cake are leeches. :)

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergoblue562

I have to disagree with you on one point - "You Are Tolerable" is VERY positive. You should have seen the "You Are INtolerable" cakes they rejected!

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I get so freaking confused by these cakes. How does ANYONE think putting some of these messages on cakes is a good idea?!

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermouseears2007

"Thank God my leaving WHAT?"

"See, that's why nobody here can stand you. Friggin' grammar Nazi."

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSteve the Pocket

Are those leaches on the 60 cake?!

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Is that cream cheese frosting on the opiates cake? If so, then, heck, anything's a good excuse for that.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

And Whitney's cake has such nice handwriting and smooth frosting too.

--Blue Jean

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"You have nice clavicles" is a line from the TV series True Blood. Teri said that to Arlene.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLydia

I feel almost certain the "You have nice clavicles" is a quote from a movie I have seen recently. But Google failed me.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNick, April and Aidan

Could the leeches on the 60th birthday cake have been meant for tiger stripes? The cake is orange(ish).

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

The last cake reminded me of a 1 Year Clean party we threw for a friend who went through rehab to kick painkillers. The cake we got him was in the shape of a large capsule with "Percocet" written across it in the most beautiful calligraphy ever. No pictures (of course!), but he laughed so hard, he cried. Some of the guests were less than . . . enthusiastic.
Sometimes inside jokes are best left unexplained.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Can I skip the opiates, and go right to the cheesecake?

"You have nice clavacals" almost makes it, but then it misspells "clavicles." The dictionary is your friend, bakers.

On the other hand, "Sweet 16 Never been to jail" strikes me as something to celebrate. Beautiful cake (or tart or whatever it is), too. I'd eat that.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I love it!

So funny!

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCookieMonster

Hmmmm... like the comment I got on one of my blog posts: "This is the funniest thing I've ever read. If I'd never read anything at all."" rel="nofollow">Single Dad Laughing

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSingle Dad Laughing

"You have nice clavicals" is a True Blood Season 1 reference, I believe....Could be wrong, but I think Hoytt Fortenberry says it to a girl he's trying to impress.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"You have nice clavicles" is Egon to Janine in Ghostbusters.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It IS a True Blood line. But I was incorrect. Teri says it to Arlene! Just pulled out my DVDs to look it up! lol!

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Clavicles. Dude, he couldn't even spell clavicles.

I'm totally in love with the "you are tolerable" cake. May have to use that for family sometime soon.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm surprised Jen didn't comment on the misspelling of "clavicles"

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlex F.

Alex F.,

People get tweaked at us when we point everything out. Plus, the vast majority of our readers are stinkin' brilliant so we figure they'll catch most of them.

Peace out, yo!


August 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

My 4 year old niece asked me to click on a cute cake in this post. As we scrolled down, she discovered that there are no cute cakes. Too bad she can't read to understand that saying no to drugs gets you a cheesecake:)

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

I see I'm not the only one whose mind immediately went to Pride and Prejudice with the "tolerable" one. I wonder if the recipient was a Jane Austen fan. Not sure what the deal is with the tie-dye airbrushing though...

As for the others, I'm trying to decide if I want to know the stories behind them (because inscriptions that strange have to have some kind of story attached).

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I think I'm going to copy that sweet 16 one - the teens'll love it!

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT

Your clavicles are better accentuated via use of opiates, but then you have to get the monkey off your back man. Then you get the cake. ok then. wow.

once again I just LONG to see what the wreckerator /clients look like.\ mad props on the pretty handwriting though.!

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercaferacers66

Thanks for all the compliments on the first cake, I made that and the master wrote on it.

Whitney is my friend btw and that was a surprise (and friendly) gift to her.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoyce

I am proud to say that I ordered the first cake on this post for a friend. It is, indeed, an inside joke, and one that the bakery didn't get. When a friend went to pick it up, they were afraid to give it to him, thinking someone in their kitchen had made a horrible, horrible mistake.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLola Vauntz

I laughed harder at the comments, specifically the revelation that the over-rated "True Blood" ripped off "Ghostbusters."

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"You have nice clavicals"... OMG... ROFLMAOH.

Now THAT'S what I call "damning with faint praise"! (At least the baker spelled "clavicals" correctly).

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

My friends from breast cancer support group often say what's on the first cake, glad you found us but hate that you're here...

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I like the fact the "congratulations on kicking opiates" cake looks like a big giant pill. Also that they spelled "congratulations" correctly.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJerry

I imagine the first couple of cakes ("we hate that you're here") are about hospital stays.

Love the "kicking opiates" cake. Hey, celebrate the good stuff, no matter what it is.

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterchiffonade

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