My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Perfectly Punctual

Anyone who claims punctuation doesn't matter has clearly never read Eats, Shoots & Leaves.

Or seen any of these cakes.

Well, well, well, "Emily." (IF that's your REAL name.) Just what are we celebrating here, hmm? Perhaps a sham cover operation for impostor Hello Kitty cakes?

Parenthetically speaking, can we all please agree that parentheses really never belong on a cake?

The fact that the left side looks like a "C" isn't helping.

Then again, I bet this group of birthday gals was the most popular party at the restaurant. ("Hollaback, girls!")

You know what they say: "The only thing that conveys exuberance better than an ellipsis...

[sing-song] " a peeer-iod!"

And there was much rejoicing.

No, seriously. You should have SEEN this rejoicing. It was off the hook. Totally crazy.

Of course, for the Wreckerators who aren't satisfied with traditional, "real" punctuation, there's always one of these options:

That thing after the "Wow" is called a dinglehopper.

And this is the "wavelamation":

See how well it distracts from the misspelling? You can barely see the "differance!"

Nichole P., Lisa M., Luisa F., Rebekah, Millco, & Vanessa B., maybe we should all start using Victor Borge's phonetic punctuation while ordering:

Sure, it won't help any, but I'd pay good money to see someone try.

And by "good money," I mean a nickel.

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Reader Comments (91)

Witty commentary, pathetic cakes AND Victor Borge?

I love you guys.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

haha I thoroughly enjoyed that book as well.
My niece went through a quotation-mark-in-the-air period. She once used it for her aunt's name. It was hilarious, like she didn't believe it was really her.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Oh! Thank you, thank you for the Victor Borge reference!!! He's such a legend, and yeah, he has particularly useful ideas for those ordering cakes.

When I was a teenager, my piano teacher asked me if I was going to see Victor Borge's show. I said: "Victor Borge, who?" Alas, I didn't go, and it was one of his last performances before his death. One of the greatest regrets of my life. :/

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKat

ROFL! I rememeber watching a video about that guy when I was a kid with my parents. And you post it the day my mom comes out to visit. Thanks Jen!

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterToriisen

The wreckiness of the decorations more than distracts from the "punctuation".

#1 Hello Kitty after being run over by a steamroller

#2 Chocolate ooooozzzzzing over the edge

#3 "I didn't know Rick was so fond of roses."

#4 "Wow, that's really orange icing. UT fan?"

#5 LBah?

#6 "Is that a nightcrawler? I'll get my fishing pole."

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Hooray for the Victor Borge clip. Hadn't seen that one in years.


WV = pirsp, which is the phonetic spelling of one of those Borge noises, I'm sure

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL This is great. I was thinking the wavelamation was a cross between a question mark and an exclamation point. Maybe they were a little confused on their feelings?

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

wavelamation: disguising a question mark as an exclamation point. "No, really, we *mean* it. Sincerely (wavelamation)"

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLet Them Eat Cake

But it would be a good nickel, right? Not one of those plastic things they use to teach kids the value of money?

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClothDragon

That last cake's "wavelamation" looks like it could have been a question mark.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOVE LOVE LOVE Victor Borge! Thank you for posting this.

Sharon's Edible Art

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Never mind the odd punctuation, what is going on with the all girls/call girls cake's icing? Is that some sort of melted fudge icing ON TOP of the traditional buttercream? Yuck!

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Ohhh...just had to post this. The word verification is "flogin". Every wreckerator should be subjected to a flogin when they mess up.

Sharon's Edible Art

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

These things are hilarious. I mean, did they miss English class EVERY DAY in elementary school? And I LOVE that video :). Thanks for the laughs! (*Shwick* *Pboik*)

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Victor Borge and badly punctuated cakes! What more could I ask for on a cold wet Friday in August?

You rock - thank you.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

No way is that a doesn't look like a fork *or* a hairbrush. :)

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKellyK

That so-called grammar book is inconsistent prescriptivist tripe. :-)

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ah, thank you for the Victor Borge vid. So many memories of watching him as a kid!

Somehow, I could imagine a call-in for a cake, using his punctuation phonetics... the wretched wreckorators would likely SPELL OUT the sounds.

I'm not sure I really want to think about that.

BTW - FTW with the (all girls)!!


wv - ciallin... uh, isn't that a brand name of something in wreckorator speak?

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, I hope the Call Girls did have a happy birthday. I'm only sorry I wasn't invited to their party.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

The Boob Nazi sez:
"My niece went through a quotation-mark-in-the-air period. She once used it for her aunt's name. It was hilarious, like she didn't believe it was really her."

Hmm, if my aunt went by "The Boob Nazi," I'd be tempted to put that handle in quotes, too.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I think you mean ellipsis, not ellipse. My favorite punctuation mark...

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachelkachel

Clarification: I have several aunts, and none of them is called "The Boob Nazi." I was just thinking hypothetically, back there.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

LOVE Victor Borge! But that phonetic spelling might get spit all over the cake counter when ordering in the store.

Hello Kitty appears to have severly swollen glands, and I think Cindy may actually be celebrating her 50th delivery as a midwife, hence the space in Birth Day.

WV: talited "Who needs talited cake decorators? Vive la differance!"

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

hey i think a dinglehopper is the bent up for that ariel uses to bursh her hair out on the little i just realized i watch entirely too much tv with my kids! lol :)

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love Victor Borge. That video cracks me up every time.

I don't thing phonetic punctuation would do a darn bit of good with wreckerators, though. You'd just get a lot of cakes with "Pfffff Bbt" on them.

WV: bacen. It's surprising how often bacen shows up on cakes.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

Your...(my) "HEROE" !

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela K

Wow. I friend of mine recently returned my copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves after a two-year hiatus and I've decided (for old time's sale) to re-read it.

Then I see your post. Freeeeaaaaakyyyyyy!!!

-French Bean

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFrench Bean & Coffee Bean

Love Victor Borge, but thought the video was boring. Haven't had my coffee yet. I thought that one cake said "Wowth" -- I was disappointed that it wasn't for Elmer Fudd.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Victor Borge**!!

He's one of my favorites*!!

*note the keeping of theme with extra punctuation

**I'm probably the only person 25 or under that has ever heard of him I swear.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Poor Hello Kitty. She looks like she has a goiter or the mumps.

Dinglehopper is my new favorite word. I plan to use that as often as I can today.

Victor Borge: Always classic. As I recall, he did a version of this piece on Sesame Street, teaching kids about punctuation. That's where I remember him from. =)

WV: Badish: The phonetic spelling of a cymbal crash. As in: "bump-bump-badish!"

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

Oh my, it appears that Hello Kitty has a thyroid problem!
Love the (all girls) cake, can't imagine what would prompt them to write that, couldn't they have just said "Ladies"?
My favorite thing about Rick's cake is not only the anticipation but the sudden change of capitalization! (Note the D in birthday)
Oh and Cindy's cake, well that's just a prize, not only multiple periods but a whole mishmash of mixed capitalization! This cake is NOT case sensitive! :)
Both those punctuation marks on the last two cakes appear to be sea-sick exclamation points. Oh and let's also not forget how the "M" in "make" appears to have an extra leg! Guess that makes their "differance" MMMMMMM good!

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes

I love to hate unnecessary "quotation marks" and apostrophe's. I once passed a bar with a sign that said: NO ONE UNDER "21" ADMITTED. (*wink, wink*) Really, the only thing on that first cake that should be in quotes is "Hello Kitty." Thanks for making my day, as usual.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Park

One of my favorite things is the "sarcastic" exuberance. I have a shirt that says:

"ACTORS" do it on stage.

"ACTORS"!?!? Haha!

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArguing with a Doughnut

I'd just like to point out that the video is almost a wreck since whoever posted it called it Phonetic Pronunciation instead of Phonetic Punctuation. At least they spelled it right!

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCrissylady


I actually laughed hard at your comment. I love The Boob Nazi but I think I might put air quotes around that too.

"Like, oh my gosh! My aunt Julie (") The Boob Nazi(") she is like... so... cool!"

See? It kinda works.


ps. I thought everybody had an aunt they called The Boob Nazi.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

While I like dinglehoppers and try to use them in writing as often as possible, that is clearly a dead exclamation point, which is not nearly as exciting.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSheri at The Loopy Ewe

Wow the call girls one. Too good.

Also, "differamce" is what that cake is really saying.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLou (Rogue)

I'm taking a business communication class right now and read Eats, Shoots and Leaves. It's just crazy what you see sometimes from "professionals". Love these!

Hey, I got your book today! It's awesome :)

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterForgotten Fancy

Cake #1: Go figure. The wreckerator forgot the quotations around Hello Kitty because I’m really sure that’s not Hello Kitty.

Cake #2: I was thinking about the How I Met Your Mother episode about Woo girls. What's a Woo Girl? A Woo Girl, is a type of young woman, who like the Cuckoo bird or the Whip-Poor-Will, gets the name from the signature sound she makes. "Wooooo!" A woo can be elicited from a certain song coming on the jukebox ("Sweet Home Alabama" plays); to half-priced shots; from a ride on a mechanical bull; to, well, pretty much anything.

Cake #3: What’s up with the small D in birthday? Also makes you wonder if there was some sort of inside joke with that cake...

Cake #4: HaPPy 50TH. Birth Day CiNDY. O.M.G. Some in cursive; some not. Some in lowercase and caps. Happy 50th what? Anniversary? Customer to get a cake from this bakery? Poor, poor Birth Day Cindy.

Cake #5: It could be WOW+. The wreckerator thought a regular WOW wasn’t special enough for LBah. I dunno, looks like it might be a snarfblat to me ;-)

Cake #6: Wavelamation looks like a word verification.

Imagine how much fun emoticons would sound phonetically? :-)

wv properma: When people use a comma properly.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Just when I thought this blog couldn't be any more awesome, you added a Victor Borge clip. Thank you!

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

Spelling and punctuation are two of my biggest pet peeves! If I received a cake like any one of those I would have to beat the giver to death with a whisk!

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMolly Malone

Isn't a wavelamation" rel="nofollow">one of those terms Mort Walker came up with?

Everyone else has said it, but props for posting Victor Borge. We own a tape of one of his performances (probably the same one PBS re-airs roughly once a year during pledge week). "That is my reward. The rest goes to the government."

CAPTCHA word of the day: "blersac" - no definition, but once when we were playing Perquacky (it's like Scrabble with dice) late at night, and we were starting to get high from the sleep deprivation, we started making up words and one of them was "quirplimbersak".

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSteve the Pocket

Of course, this means someone has to send you a video of them trying to order a cake using verbal punctuation. And by "someone," I mean "someone other than me."

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

I am so impressed that some one knows enough call girls turning 30 at the same time that their names apparently won't all fit on the cake. On the other hand it could be a tribute to thirty year old call girls around the world.

Woo hoo!

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxzr

I LOVE that book! Eats, shoots, and leaves is my favorite grammar commentary. I need to put that on my kindle.

Also, that last cake! It looks like they got stuck deciding between a ? and ! and decided to split the difference. (excuse me, differance).

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

A Victor Borge mention makes any day better.

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

I love the book Eats, Shoots and Leaves! If you haven't read the children's book edition that goes with it, do it! It's great!

WV: winsides- ex: "There were no winsides to those wrecks."

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney C.

I love Victor Borge. The End. (Mostly because I have no original thoughts about these cakes.)

wv: arymo (Remember the Arymo!)

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Love Victor Borge... I dont make the sound effects but I do say

"However (comma)"

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjilly-bear

Thank you for referencing two of my favorite punctuation-related things: Eats, Shoots and Leaves & Victor Borge's brilliance. (And this, kids, is how we correctly use a hyphen, commas, parentheses and a colon. Class dismissed.) ;)

August 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdaughtersheart

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