My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sick as a Dog

We've learned from a recent survey that 76% of our readers get their news exclusively from Cake Wrecks and the Fun Facts on the underside of Snapple lids. So today, in Part 12 of our medical news series, "Congrats! You're Contagious!," we'll be teaching you how to recognize an onset of Rectal Arthritic Bubonic Inner Ear Scurvy (aka "R.A.B.I.E.S.") in your furry friend.

Stage 1: Upon initial infection, your dog may show unusual signs of perkiness and energy.


Sparky may even rummage through your holiday scrunchie drawer and attempt to accessorize.



Stage 2: Several minutes after becoming infected, your dog may appear nervous or scared.



Hiding behind word-shaped shrubbery is common.



Stage VII: R.A.B.I.E.S. will cause Munchkin's eyes to water and turn a slightly pinkish hue:


Also known as the "Tammy Faye Baker Phase."

Stage 6: Foaming at the mouth:



After eating poo.

Stage 6: Lashing out with erratic behavior.



Also known as the "Your Kid's Gonna Need Therapy" phase.



Stage F: Dry, patchy skin.

Accompanied by KISS makeup and a wang beard.



Stage 9: Inexplicable weight gain.



And loss of limbs and neck.



So be sure to keep an eye out for any signs that your little Gnarls Barkley may be infected. After all, you don't want to experience the final phase of the R.A.B.I.E.S. virus:



Total protonic reversal.


Yeah. That's bad.

Thanks to Megan, Anna M., Katy P., Angela L., Jason, Stephanie A., Ashley J., Tiffany H., and Alexander B. Now stay tuned for parts 13 and 14 in our medical series: "Lady Lumps," and "Chlamydi-huh?"


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Reader Comments (86)

The pinkish-hue eyes dog is reeeaaally scary. It reminds me of Bunnicula.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

OK, how many people on here actually remember Tammy Faye?

Hysterical. Great way to start the day.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

Those poor dogs. This makes me happy not to have one. I'd hate for him to catch this!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

I hate when that happens.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

"Hiding behind word-shaped shrubbery is common" haha! Geez that one was definitely looked like it was going to leap off the plate and eat anyone who tried to eat it!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjebus llama

You know I just tried posting this to Facebook and couldn't because it said it was content that had been previously marked as spammy. Had to fill in a form to report it as non-spam. Is that a Facebook-wide problem? Or is that to do with my own settings?

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDavid L Rattigan

HA HA. The fourth pup looked kinda cute until I read the poo part. yeesh!

@ Oldish Lady, yes, I remember Tammy Faye >>shudder<<

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStella

Hmm. Wouldn't post using the "share" feature, but managed to post the link fine directly to my wall. Ah well.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDavid L Rattigan

"Tammy Faye Baker Phase"-love it!

Wuh? No mention of Cujo?

Sharon's Edible Art

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

These weren't up to your quality, but still funny . . . now I want to know how to take the best cake pictures!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterASterling

Were stages 3, 4, 5, 8 and A-E too horrific to share? ;-)

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the erratic numbering of stages, and the descriptions of the symptoms. Hilarious!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That tongue was WAY too realistic on the stage 6 cake. Ew.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMy name is Michelle.

Aaaarrrgggghhh!! That one with the teeth! It's not even fully canine!! The eyes!! My Eyes!! Aarrggghh!!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow - a Tammy Faye doggie. ~shudder~ It is comforting to know, though, that I'm not the only one who remembers her.

WV: rabutles - What's left after the final phase of R.A.B.I.E.S.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Number 2 reminds me of the drawings from Hyperbole and a half.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

My 4-year-old daughter was watching over my shoulder as I read this. She is obsessed with dogs, and was excited at first. When I got to the Gene-Simmons-esque cake, I heard her say, "Mommy, is that a doggy cake or a piggy cake?"
When I got to the last one, she said, "That one is a potatopus."

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

We recenly lost our family dog, a 17-year-old Bichon Frise. As he got older, the enzymes in his saliva caused the fur around his mouth to turn brown. "Stage 6: Foaming at the Mouth" looks EXACTLY like my old friend!

Although, if I were going to order a cake of his face, I wouldn't have ordered it with brown fur. Cause you know, it looks like poop...

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCK

Any post that finds a way to combine Tammy Faye and important safety tips from Egon, is a +20 in my book.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGween

You guys crack me up everymorning.
I love this blog.
You're so witty.
I'm sure you hear that all the tiem though.
This post had me laughing so loud the neighbours came to the door.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Haha! I liked reading this on my Google Reader because the ad at the end of the post was a Banfield free pet exam ad.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

I'm sure you've heard this before, but you guys are really, genuinely FUNNY.


January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

At least the dog in the Inexplicable Weight Gain stage looks happy...none of the others do.

And add me to the Tammy Faye list. I remember though I have tried to forget.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeftWingLock

Wang Beard. Bahahaha.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's a good day when I read a Ghostbusters reference. :)

Excellent post, as usual.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually I kinda like the fourth one down. Maybe 'cause I'm getting used to seeing totaly ruined cakes on here. I can at least tell what it's supposed to be....or it could be 'cause it looks a bit like the dog my husband had when we met and I loved her.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDani

Totally disturbing cakes+excellent commentary. Nice goin' Assistant--Number 1. BTW-- how many total possible posters/moderators does CW have? Obviously there's Jen; John, husband of Jen; you (are you a friend and/or relative of theirs?)---but are there any other associates?

Sadly, I can remember both Tammy Fay and Cujo. That was a fun sentence to write.


January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNiteNurse

On the second cake it looks like there is some sort of template/base (very shiny)over the cake that the decorator just piped frosting into (the grooves). Am I the only one that sees that?

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OH man, that post was ruff!! Haha! "Oldish Lady" may not believe this, but we were JUST talking about Tammy Faye last night at dinner! I don't remember why but it definitely involved makeup.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly's Korner

I have tears running down my eyes... Definitely one of the best!

And, once again, my 2 year old looks at these wrecks and proclaims "CAKE! CAKE! CAKE!" ... She frightens me.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

The cake with the weight gain looks like either a sloth or a Wampa Ice Creature on happy pills.

WV: maulers. Need I even MAKE a joke here?

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't exactly know why, but it's the dog cakes that LITERALLY have me laughing so hard I have tears streaming down my face! Thank you for the laughs!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTom

Timely Tammy Faye reference. Their son's autobiography was featured on MSNBC yesterday. Looks to be a good read.

Cakes are scary.

WV: Phing--all through the post I kept asking "What is that phing?"

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTracy A

My 2-year-old responded, "oh, puupy dog" to every picture until we got to the end and she responded, "what that mommy?"

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Stage 6 was almost a cute cake until it went all feral and bitey.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Love the scary dog cakes...btw, it is Tammy Faye Bakker, with two "k"s.

I ran into her once here in Charlotte at Burlington coat factory. She was tee-tiny and told me she really thought the better deals were at Ross.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think stage 9 is actually a 3 toed sloth.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

Bunnicula! I'm suddenly back in third grade. I may just stay there for a while.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPup Fan

I was giggling quietly to myself until "wang beard". Then I completely lost it! Still laughing about it...husband is looking at me like I'm crazy. Thanks for the good laugh today!!!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJamesterCK

At first I thought stage 6 dog was really cute, then I realized it had a mouth full of needle sharp teeth. Now I'm scared.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

"Total protonic reversal"... **spewing coffee all over my monitor**

Jeeze... Thanks, guys!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

A giggle-worthy post, as usual! Although, as a dog person, I'm offended that people would even *think* to associate these wrecks with dogs. Dogs deserve much better. Maybe these are cats? (evil cackle!)

@OldishLady-- add me to the list of those who remember.

Numbering-- 1, 2, 7 (VII), 6, 6, F, 9, final.... O.o, you've been staring at photos of too many wrecks. Step away from the computer :)

#1 at least looks happy. I want some of whatever it's on!

#6 is horrific... and thoroughly unappetizing.

#7 the bloating has turned it green-tinged?

#8 bright pink and eyes falling out of the head. Yeah, that's what I'd bring to a dog lover

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

The white poodle licking its mouth would be kind of cute if it didn't look like it had an eye infection.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

#1 No one names their dog 'Cupcake'? This could be why.

#2 shows the importance of planning ahe.

Happy Rirthday (?)...well, you know who you are, even if anyone else wouldn't. Remember, it's the thought that counts. Not the best argument to make here? Well, ya got me there.

#3-8 Oy.

wv: loroc A candidate for the name of the recipient of #2 (it's even in the same shade of green).

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

@ David L - thanks for letting us know about the FB glitch, David! We had that happen once over a year ago, so we'll keep an eye on it.

@NiteNurse - It's just the 3 of us (me, John, & #1) writing over here. We also have Wrecksistant and Wrecky Minion who help with e-mail, but those two lovely ladies don't actually post anything on the blog.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I was literally laughing out loud throughout! Wonderful!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEli

Thanks Number 1! This one really had me giggling.

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCheri

""When I got to the last one, she said, "That one is a potatopus.""

I am so glad for 4 year olds, cause my first thought when I looked at that one was "What is that?" I think she hit the nail on the head, it is a potatopus! :) Love it!!!!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ok, the total protonic reversal just made my crap day so much better. :)

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMs Dreamer

I literally had to close the page and come back to it after I'd finished eating. Of all the horrid cakes you've featured, these are the ones that made me gag! :)

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

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