My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


You know what makes a date like 11/11/11 even MORE "magical"?

A cake shaped like a beautiful leather-bound book of spells, of course!

Er... hang on, I have the right incantation around here somewhere...

A-ha! Here it is!

"Expecto Vomitorium!"


I can see you're speechless.

I tend to have that effect on people.


And now, using only the powers of my mind, I will summon forth...


the groom's underwear!


Well, well, well.

I see they don't call him "The Texas Longhorn" for nuthin'. [wink]


Speaking of which, have you met my trusty familiar, the frog formerly known as "Prince?"

He's a naughty little thing, that frog; lately he's taken to robbing nunneries.

Try as I might, I just can't seem to get him out of the habit.


Now, I know what you're thinking: "my gosh, that was a fabulous pun."

Yes, yes it was.

However, you may also be thinking my froggy familiar looks more like an octopus.

Well, he's not.

In fact, every time I try to summon an octopus I just get one of these:

Yeah. The Spirit World thinks it's a real "komeedianne."


Thanks to wiz kids Maddison S., Pete & Erica, Kristen J, & Lisa H., who'd rather pretend they didn't see that.

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Reader Comments (42)

Wow that last cake (er cookie?) represents a new low for wreckinators. It looks like something the school cafeteria lady off of the Simpsons would make. Completely disinterested in the whole thing.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

Kira's magical cake appears to be from Bountiful, Utah (or, perhaps, bountiful Utah.)
It makes me want to go to there to see what else they have to offer!

The Grooms Underwear looks something like a misshapen foot if you view it from a certain angle.
That's what I intend to do, view it as a misshapen foot from a certain angle.

Now, pretend this is my coment.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

That frog! what interesting er, uh, feet. Yes, I have to wash my monitor and keyboard, again!

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Okay, that's funny because I really WAS thinking: "my gosh, that was a fabulous pun."

Mind blown.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Are you sure that first cake isn't a tombstone? ...

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGAMZu

Ugh, what horrid cakes

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

FWIW, a vomitorium is not what it sounds like. It's just a stadium exit.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I think my imagination can't pretend that even was an octopus.... nope looks like a circle still... sigh

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

(blinkblink)... Um... You guys ARE aware that a "nunnery" is not actually the same thing as a "convent", right? (Hint: When Ophelia drowns herself, it isn't because Hamlet has just told her to go become a nun).

[Editor's note- Technically, "nunnery" does mean "convent" in modern language. From Merriam Webster: Definition of NUNNERY: a convent of nuns. Is it also old English slang for brothel? I knowest not, cometh hath lo and spite mine eyes. -john]

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

That froggie must be a real stitch at a party, wearing his underwear on his head like that. "Pretend this is an octapus"?! What, so I can be even more repulsed? OK, here goes....

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMomcat

Octapus cookie,
ringed with olives, cherries? It's
pretend edible.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Oh, that's supposed to be the Texas Longhorn? My first thought was "uterus."

Then again, that might just be the pregnancy hormones...

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

Go Classic Steve Go!
Latin etymology
for the love of win!

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Is it too late to wish these into the cornfield?

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

SuBee she already spelled "Pretend" correctly...

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

I think the frog needs to put on the underwear!

Or maybe he's just a youngin'...hasn't quite lost his tadpole tail...yeah, let's go with that! Please!

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

If I pretend that's an octapus, it's still not even close. I love how ambitious and prefectionist the decorator must be.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMark

Kira seems to have celebrated 11-11-11 with a rectangular crepe covered in approximately two kilograms of peanut butter-- magical indeed.

@BADKarma: The meaning of Hamlet's speech is still a subject for debate; sometimes a nunnery is just a nunnery, and the scene still makes sense if that's the case. Between the ever-popular Texas Longhorn and the, erm, appendages on that frog, this post has plenty of double-entendres without dragging the Bard into it.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

I just wanted to check in and see if you had 499 comments again today. Well, the day is young.

But, while I'm here, you *are* aware that "nuthin'" isn't really a word. The correct spelling is

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy'sMom

That first one is actually half-decent. I can't see anything wrong with decorating a cake in the shape of a book.

If you can't say something nice...

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlice the Camel

BOUNTIFUL, Utah. Home of the Magical Cement Slab Factory. Cement slabs in an array of colors to suit your every need/preference/ of their best sellers is called, "Magical" (shown here). It was the *must have* choice for Kira. You probably don't know what's so magical about it, but then, YOU don't know Kira like I do.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

Looks like someone licked the end/head/whatever of the "groom's underwear."
And frankly, those little blobs/embellishments around the edge hint at something a bit too fussy/fem to be for a man.
A real man wouldn't want chocolate blobs on his pants or someone licking it off... mind.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

Lindsey, I totally thought 'uterus', too, and I'm not pregnant!

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Hey, that's my...I mean the groom's, underwear! I mean, I submitted the groom's underwear! I feel so wrecky-famous!

@Lindsey I thought "uterus" when I saw it, too!

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErika

Nun's habit? pshaw! that is clearly a(n) homage to the famous "Frog Zorro with codpiece" The artists name escapes me, it's in the Prada.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterspel chek

@Naomi - Think there's a nunnery at Epcot? Or built in to the Epcot bunker perhaps? :)

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCat

I'm totally thinkin' it's a longhorn uterus. I'm not pregnant either.

Poor Kira. There's nothing magical about that "book". Nuthin' magical about the cake either.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatiMomKat

#1 Now the concrete laying guy (?) is gonna have to re-smooth the top cuz Kira's gone and written in his nice new slab of concrete.

#2 Nice Package...? Ew.

#3 It looks like a shell-less Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. With socks.

#4 Yeah, and pretend I'm buying this hideous cookie. Here's my pretend money.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

We had our baby on 11-11-11. Totally not planned like all the other weirdos. Complications required early c section, baby born about 5 weeks early. We're ok and home, but even these vomitorium cakes are making me want a birthday cake for the baby. I think I deserve one after being hacked open.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

I hate to admit it but cake 2 immediately made me think of a speedo, and the song "Sexy and I know it " by LMFAO. Once you see the video it's hard to forget it, or scrub it from your mind's eye (ever).

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIrene

Mmm...cake frosted with pate... :p

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

That frog cake is seriously creeping me out.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBerk

Mazal Tov Emily! Glad you and baby are ok. I would hesitate before requesting a cake though, given all the creepy baby cakes I've seen here....
Anyway, your baby probably wouldn't really appreciate the cake all that much, even if it wasn't a wreck.

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

Oh, man! Kira's ditched his Death Note AGAIN?

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlittlefoot

After seeing the "frog" cake I now must make an Early Cuyler (Squidbillies) cake. Or Granny... yeah... its gonna be fantastic!

November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSavana

I'm thankful I can pretend the uterus is a misshapen foot. ICK

November 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

second Kira I've seen this week, amazing to me. sad day its a wreck instead of a happy colorful cake.

November 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKira

i like this cake..yummmy..

November 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTekun

I went to Texas and had no idea that was supposed to be a Longhorn until I read your comment.

November 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

A masked frog with a tiny penis. Now I've seen I know there are many more wrecks that will make me want to vomit in the future.

And now, just for giggles, I want to make my own wreck. A CCC (patooey) shaped like an octopus. Maybe after the holidays! :-)

November 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa P.

Is that a frog in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

November 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDeanna

Kira must be a very happy girl, for she did only get one such abomination and for she wasn't born two month earlier.

November 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmily Rose

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