My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Hardest Three Words To Say

Guys, I've been wanting to say this for a while now, but...[deep breath]...well, it's just never felt like the right time, you know? And now here we are, just the two of us and the Internet, and I, I KNOW...that we're finally ready to take that next step.

Ok. Here goes:

Wait. That came out wrong. I mean...

Um, that is, what I'm trying to say is...

Hang on; I've almost got it...

Yeah. Something like that.

And also:

So if you see Al, be sure to let him down easy.

Of course, declarations of love are par for the course today. Not to mention stuff like this:

And this:

And even this:

Still, when it comes to love, I think Cupid says it best:

Yeah. That's like, "whoah."

Thanks to Jared, Norma W., Christine, Sarah M., Lizzie S., Franco P., Howard P., & Michael C., who actually have no idea what Cupid said because they can't stop staring at his diaper.

Or is that just me?

« Conversation Starters | Main | Sunday Sweets: Heart Attack! »

Reader Comments (55)

When my sister-in-law was pregnant, my niece kept saying, "My new sister is going to be born on Balentimes Day." I would LOVE to find a cake that said that and buy it for her.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Loves that the second one has a sell by date of 4/7/10. Ick!

Happy Balentines Day Cake Wrecks!

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShawn

What? No "Happy V.D.?" The STD's of the world feel neglected!

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlaughingmom

What I find most disturbing about #5 is that the "I (extremely oversized heart) you" was put on BEFORE they let go with the silly string. The border is on top of the "you". And you can see where they traced the heart in the icing before adding the piping ... off centered. And they couldn't figure out what to do with that random bit of pink that fell inside the heart. (head-desk)

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Well, I loe you, too.
Happy Balentine's day to Jen, John, Number One, and all the Cake Wrecks readers.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Is it that tine of the year already?

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJules ♂ ♪

I think the person who wrote "Be By Valentine" had a cold.

I'm surprised there's not one for Valentimes Day. You know, the holiday in the middle of Febuary.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I have to post this WV: inishal

Coming soon to a wrecked cake near you:

Happy Birtday Jay Jay (don't write the name, just the inishals)

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Our youngest daughter always pronounced it ValenTIME's Day. Of course, she also had a friend named Donamick.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

The "Be By Valentine" cake made this pop into my brain:

Bicky Bi Bo Bu! :)

wv: yeress

Yeress will be gress if you give one of these cakes to your sweetheart!

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Sadly, I looked at teh first one for almost a full minute before I realized why it was a wreck. It almost seemed like just a regular cake.... Then the spelling hit me!

Doh! {in best Homer Simpson impersonation}

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterscrapopotamos

Um, does that last one say "Be Mines"? Because I think it does.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFormerDominator

I tore myself away from the diaper to see the "be mines".


February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

When I was growing up in Brooklyn (many,many decades ago,) my Dad celebrated Balentine's Day, every afternoon after work.
I prefer Coors'

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those "I Loe You" cakes made me say, "hu?" I mean, to misspell once, maybe. but 3x? Maybe these are for the people who just are unable to say the "L" word.

Thank you, wreckporters, for your covert and awesome work. Too bad we cannot know the names of the stores.....

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C also in SoFla

This might be by favorite blog of the day!

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Restaurant Manager

I think bakers have started wrecking their displays on purpose. They must be competing to see who can get on Cake Wrecks first. -K

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

all these commitment-phobic wreckies need to go to therapy...

and I'm not mentioning culinary school... because that would ruin my fun.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterT

Also, Cupid appears to be shooting himself, as the bow is piped on backwards. Well, I guess even Cupid needs love too. And a diaper change.
Happy St. Valentine's Day Massacre Day, y'all! ;-)

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

Happy birthday, Gwynn Valentine!

The fourth cake down (for "al") is more than a pound of love.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

bahahaha!! Laughingmom someone on my FB actually put Happy VD in their status and I was so tempted to reply lol

as for the cakes. they murdered that poor heart cookie w/ all that icing

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterL.A.C.E.

Cake #5: You give me heartworms?
wv: jumsess - When he gives her chocolates, she jumsess bones!

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMomcat

No Happy Valentime's Day. I'm so disappointed.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake 1: Well at least they were following the rule "I before E except after C".

Cake 2: Yeah. "Marketfresh Quality Everyday" my a$$. Good eye Shawn!

Cake 3: Balentine's? Is this for people that hate Valentine's day?

Cake 4: Too bad, al.

Cake 5: you 'heart' I. It's like a command - probably for the "Overly-possessive" Valentine.

Cake 6: Ok, they misspelled "Love" - could've been an acronym for Lack Of Effort. Did anyone notice the "mulch" frosting? Or that they basically dumped a fruit-cup on top of the other cakes?

Cake 7: Be By? Mix this cake with #3 and you have "talk with the letter B" day.

Cake 8: Oh, it's the Cupid Gollum. Be mines precious!

wv: crearier. Cupid's diaper is going up his crearier.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Pretty sure the diaper looks like it is leaking out the top. Ewwwww! :)

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

That third one (Happy Balentine) might be Japanese. They don't have the sound of V in their alphabet at all, so they replace it with B. When I was there, it took some getting used to when I heard kids say they wanted to play Bolleyball.

It's also considered cool there to celebrate "American" holidays with English writing.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmauriel

"Cupid Gollum" I LOVE IT!! roflmho

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C also in SoFla

I'm sure that next to last cookie cake was simply a case of the request being put in with someone with a severe case of congestion. Easy mistake... ;)

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterunseeliepixie

One has to wonder what is happening to the educational system in this country. Horrible grammar and spelling!!!! I mean who misspells love 3 times?? And "Be Mines"? It's Be Mine... learn to speak correctly people. Okay time for my coffee and chocolate before I get even more grouchy!

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy Decapitated Catholic Saint Day.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlisagems

#7 I could buy the 'cold' theory if it said, 'Be By Valedtide.'

#8 Cupid stopped by the armory and upgraded to a recurve bow with pulleys. He grabbed some mines, too -- dude's getting serious. Either that, or the wreckerator was listening to Ted Nugent while working...

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

OMG, that cupid has me giggling like a nitwit at my desk, I'm so mature!

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

AHAHAHA! Love it, lisagems!

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Okay that cupid one looks like a diaper thong...just saying...

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG you crack me up. that's sooo hilarious!


February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@ Anony 11:53 - I just added a "Valentimes" wreck to the post, just for you. ;)

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

life can be seriously so funny i never think

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfunny jokes funny

Whoa. Cupid. front-loaded thong diaper. So wrong.

wv: potyptsh = the sound of a certain clogged drain

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Nope, it's not just you.

But it "depends" on who you ask.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRU

Thanks for adding the "Valentime's Day" cake! Both my girls (6 and 4) insist that that's what it is -- and create their holiday cards to suit. (Future wreckerators, I'm sure.) So it's a perfect Valentime's Day here, just right for my 4-year-old's favorite dessert, chocolate chip "tookies."

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

There is a Valentime's--it's the third one down. The "al" is just a cursive I...

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is "Loe You" short hand for "loathe you"? Just askin...

Happy VD!!! :O)

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I have a whisky lovin' friend who celebrates Ballentine's Day today. I did a double take when I saw his first post about it.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is anyone else thinking, "Vamlumtimes is serious times!"?

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRawhide Almond Maché

and then I misspelled Ballantine's

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My mother ordered a cake for my sister-in-law, Cris, at a local Safeway bakery. On the order ticket, my mother wrote, "Happy Birthday Cris!"...and then, in parentheses:(No "h"), as her name had no "h" in it. The finished cake read exactly:

Happy Birthday Chris!
(No "h")

Naturally we took the cake, as is, with a smile on our face.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Did you know that your book was featured prominently on The Graham Norton show on BBC America this week. Kate Hudson loved it so much he gave it to her! And they showed lotsa pics.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKeb'n

Ah, dang. Gary beat me to it. That was the first thing I thought about the "Loe you" cakes. It felt somehow right, like a Ghostbusters 2 quote would be appropriate for this entry. Can't imagine why, though...

wv: Calga. "Calga, take me away from these wrecks!"

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

my verification word is kisfonqu which is, as we all know, an anti-kiss form of martial arts.

February 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

At least this year no one got a happy vd heart lmao. Or herpes. But that last cake would either give someone a major sugar rush or death by laughing hysterically at that cupid. Scary and hilarious cakes.

February 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

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