My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Tae Kwon "DO'H!"

Approach, students.

You have come to me asking that I be your guide along this tale of Wreckage, but first I should mention that little Kyle here is taking Tae Kwon Do:

I should also probably stop calling him "little" Kyle.

After all, he could be earning his "Black Blet:"

(Presumably by doing step aerobics.)

Or, he might look like this:

(And wouldn't that be a boot to the head?)

Or - OR - he might know 6-year-old Mercedes here:

And, shoot, that's one little pistol I aim to avoid.
(I hear she's got a hair-trigger temper.)

Thanks to Heather H., Heather D., Liz M., and Kelsey E., for today's round of bullet points. Now, let us rejoin the mind to the body and meditate upon this wisdom.

And maybe sing a little.

Nyaa nyaa!

« Giving Wrecks a Bad Name | Main | Sunday Sweets: Jim Henson Tribute »

Reader Comments (72)

Please tell me that I'm not the only one who sees a red-headed Elvis in that third cake.


May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I kind of like the stick figure on the first one. At least it's somewhat cute, which isn't something I can say about most wrecks. And it makes me glad the wreckerator didn't even try a more human-like form.

Was the 6-year-old girl's supposed to have gum on it instead? Please, please let there be a major order mix-up like that in the backstory.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-with-an-e

Yes, I see the Elvis!! Gosh, where do these bakers exist? I look and look and look and the most excitement I find is one of our grocery stores is making the furry dogs(small so they must be Pekingese!). I live in the Midwest so we must be better spellers or else I am just not exposed to enough cakes!!


May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol Lee

There just has to be a back story to that gun cake.

The borders on that third cake look like bicycle chain to me. Not sure what exactly they were going for there.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

i LOVE the stick figure on that first cake!!!

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Ah, the art of Tae Kwon Leap! Which one of these is Ed Gruberman's cake?

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

Poor Elvis cake; they ran out of squiggles before finishing the trim work on the front(a space reserved for a plaque of some sort?)
Crap; I just made the mistake of zooming in on the face, and now I have to amend my assessment of the figure from looking like Elvis to looking like my sister-in-law.
Shoot, this isn't a very auspicious start to my day.


May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

On the positive side, I don't see a single sprinkle or a morsel of plastic detritus on today's cakes!

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMomcat

@Carol Lee,

Yay! I knew I wasn't alone on that...
Now, could you possibly know my sister-in-law?

Never mind...


May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns


I have a new favorite thing to replay in my head, over&over&over, and I just adore the premise!




May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Not-So-Little Kyle seems to be very, VERY excited that it's his birthday.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

No lie- the trailer for the new book creeped me out.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMariapia

Okay, so we already knew you have some serious geek cred but *how* did you find out about the Frantics? I always think of them as one of those great Canadian secrets, like poutine.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergreencottagegallery

I thought for sure that the second cake, the "Black Blit" cake was in honor of a Zombie event. Maybe even dancing the Monster Mash!

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Okay, okay. If you wanna teach little Mercedes how to hunt, that is one thing. But three handguns, a grenade, a pump shotgun and two bullets that could vaporize a tank?? Isn't that...overkill? [insert pun groan here]

But wouldn't her little hands shake too much to hold the Glock steady after eating all the sugar in that cake?

Or maybe she's getting ready to dispatch the adorable stick figure in cake #1 รก la "Stick Figure Death Theater".

The mind boggles.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

I'm sure it's not what the buyer asked for, but the first stick figure cake is actually really cute! (Of course I'd also probably pissed if I paid for a "professionally" decorated cake and got a stick figure that even I could have drawn myself. But still, cute!)

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAyla Zachary

Ah. Ed Gruberman... if you don't know him... then you ARE him. *Boot to the head*

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I think Mercedes' cake is beautiful! She is a wonderful, bright, charming, beautiful, gifted little girl!!! And her parents? Goodness, they are just the loveliest people. Even though I never met them,I'm sure of that. Really very nice and good. Happy, happy birthday, Mercedes!!!! Enjoy your very special day!


May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

@flying gargoyle:

I agree with you! Way too much stuff there; the little twerp could take on a Brinks all by herself!

But I have a theory: Mercedes is a BOY.

Now, it kind of makes sense, doesn't it? In a red-necky, Boy Named Sue kind of way? Hmm?


May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I used to play that song for my students. One of the kids loved it so much that all I had to say was, "Boot to the head," and he would do the entire song. It was awesome.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterimspiffier

Woohoo! Frantics reference!! Well that just made my day.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Guess there was enough fire power on Mercedes' cake that they didn't need to add candles. Or maybe they were afraid to. (A grenade? Really?)

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

What the...can't comprehend logic.. brain broke O_o

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The writing on Mercedes' cake is beautiful. But I just have to know....what did the order on the cake?

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristy

If you mix the filling in little Mercedes' cake with water and a little mustard, it makes a high explosive. What a lucky little guerrilla -- I mean, girl.

WV: vicardys -- I'm living vicardysly through cake wrecks.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Mercedes' cake is reminding me of Priscilla, the little rat-girl in "Rango" who carries a pair of guns in her lunchbox. "Can I gut-shoot someone?"

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwordsmith101

Seriously, Guns on a 6 year old's cake????

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNo Cake fo You!

I would totally give my six-year-old that cake. Just sayin'. XD

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLibby

Oh dear, numbers 1 and 2 remind me of a very bad Rocketts performance kicking tiredly to Ravell's Bolero. I still have nightmares from that. Norine

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first cake makes my head hurt.

Point of order on the gun cake: I fired my first weapon when I was five. I think it's cool.

WV: Legan - Bakers, use the handy-dandy StikGuy(tm). His lower appendages can be both a legan... Um... Well... Use your imagination, bakers!

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Wonder if the Mercades cake is an appreciation of Tennessee William's quote,

"A dream is not a very safe thing to be near... I know; I had one once. It's like a loaded pistol with a hair trigger: if it stays alive long enough, somebody is going to be hurt. But if it's a good dream, it's worth it."

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

In honor of Kyle, today I'm wearing a black blet...

wv - orcoc: that could be Kyle's leg....

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

My mind must not be sufficiently in the gutter because it took me a while to figure out why you shouldn't be calling Kyle little.

Hee! I immediately thought of Elvis, too! If the belt was just a smidge more sparkly....

Okay, so I'm wondering what was ordered for Mercedes....cuz all the weapons look pretty well done..... Okay, so if they ordered something that sounds like guns.....maybe she's really into history and they were supposed to be Huns....Or maybe she likes parasols but she got an arsenal? Or maybe Mercedes is actually 60.


May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think guns on a 6 year olds cake is wrong. Mercedes might understand the dangers of guns, but what about the other young guests.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertiny p. elephant

Ah Grasshopper, well done

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

My Spidey Sense is tingling...


May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Mercedes' cake is just another example of today's overindulged children. What does this little girl have to look forward too? In my day, the grenade was saved for the 10th birthday. And you certainly didn't get three guns and a rifle when you only six.

My Daddy taught me to wait until teenage years before before amassing an arsenal:-)

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Totally sporting a CN Tower for you right now. I may even you-know-what-a-piece-of-pie.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

@ Mel - hilarious use of your WV :)

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Bwaaahaha! Boot to the head! Tai kwon Leap! Love it!

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am trying to figure out how to pull the "trigger" on the top left corner of the last cake... Would probably need one crazily double jointed finger!!!

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSherry

OW! You bleted me in the head!!

wv: wormeses - Nobody likes us, Precious...we must go eat wormeses.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteralenxa

didn't know Carrot Top took karate! Those are awesome wrecks!!!!

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that last cake isn't really for a 6 year old girl. I think that's just a cover up and they're smuggling something sinister to someone really stupid and needed a way to identify the cake.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSophia

What. The. Hell. A black belt penis, redheaded Elvis and 6yr old assassin cake. Yeah, what I said at the beginning...

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEireKitten

Ah, who disturbs our meditation, as a pebble disturbs the stillness of the pond?

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhkmouse

Mmm, Pepto-Bismol and Aqua-Fresh... this is what happens when you wait until the last minute and have to finish a project with whatever is handy in the medicine cabinet. We can only hope that the interior wasn't chocolate Ex-Lax based. Is the empty spot actually on the cake or just a blur after the fact to protect the innocent?

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShadarus


"What a lucky little guerrilla -- I mean, girl."

LOL to the Nth degree--love it.


May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Anonymous 12:34:

"Or maybe Mercedes is actually 60."

Your point being...???
Look, I'M 60, and even I don't require THAT many weapons...sheesh.
What IS this world coming to.

P.S.--still say Merc is a boy.

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Maybe Mercedes asked for "gems" instead of guns?

May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>