My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


Sometimes I find a wreck or two that makes me feel all poetical and stuff.

These...[dramatic pause]... are those wrecks.

Barren winter tree
on a giant bare cookie.
Woo. Celebration.

Circle of sprinkles
instead of decorations
because it's break time.

A fish in the sky.
She turned me into a newt!
But...I got better.

Packing foam peanuts,
A big shiny pile of...wait.

Is that Tiana?

Blue, orange, yellow.
A cheerful makeover for

the eye of Sauron.

And now, let's hear a piece from the king of beat poetry himself:

(via wimp)

Spot on, Data. Spot. On.

Thanks to Ellen B., Rachel W., Jodee R., Meg G., & Lizzie B. who also have hedonistic predilections for demonstrations of affection, but we don't talk about that.

Note from john: Today's comment board kerfuffle shall be titled: Orange: One syllable or two?

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Reader Comments (98)

The title of this post, as well as the post itself, was, as usual, a win. Something tells me that the wrecker of that first cake is a lonely artist, frustrated with the lack of opportunity for True Art in his lowly job as a giant cookie decorator... it just speaks to the soul, doesn't it? ((mocking))

wv: Clereti. Not that we get a whole lot of clarity with these cakes...

Orange: One and a half syllables. There now.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLibby

Ah, got to love a Monty Python reference. :D

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This was a funny post. And, I have to say orange is a stupid word. One or two syllables? We will never know. I have to say 1 though.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterScorp

Did cake #4 spring a leak?

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

These cakes truly are
pathetic and quite scary
Where's cäkenschmööscher?

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJudy K.

Data is the man!
Were those cakes made by children?
I could do better.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I'm sure that someone else will have noticed this, but I'm terribly amused by the wording on the sign behind the, um, whatever she is, cake.

"Your celebration cakes deserve the freshest ingredients" Or something to that effect. Well, good to know you'll be eating fresh packing peanuts, isn't it?

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

If you're from Texas, orange is pronounced "Arnge", thus one syllable. If you speak the Queen's English, then 2 syllables...and it rhymes with......drum roll please.....DOOR HINGE! TADAA!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think this is my favourite CW post ever. Not so much because of the cakes, but because you've managed to combine LOTR, Monty Python, and Star Trek in a most appealing (apalling?) way. Oh, and wrapping Data totally made my day.

WV="minesse" Minesse are shaking from all of my laughter at this post

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

#1 - I look at all the lonely...tree?
#2 - Could be an outline of a face?
#3 - wow
#4 - Is that a dress or?
#5 - An eye or?!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Data rapping made my day! We saw Brent at Detroit ComicCon a couple weeks ago, which also made my day." rel="nofollow">Merriam Webster renders the word "orange" as "or·ange", clearly two syllables.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Trivia of the day: the word "orange" comes to us through juncture loss, where the original letter sounds like it's part of the article and gets moved over. Basically, it started out as "a norange" and ended up as "an orange". We get the word from the original Sanskrit: nāraṅgaḥ

It has 0.75 syllables, +/- 1.5 syllables. :)

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGianisa

I'm not sure I agree with Data. I'm pretty sure my 9 cats are sentient and if they ever learn to get along, they're going to overthrow the regime (me). Still awesome, though.

Bonus internets for the Python reference.

Now for the kerfuffle. Anonymous at 10 a.m. is right about the Texas pronunciation: one syllable with an "ar" sound at the beginning. In the various places I have lived I have heard one syllable (orrrnnj), two (or-unnj, or-anj), or even three (or-un-ju) with the third syllables sometimes having a slight "chuh" sound.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Darn...I'll have to wait until this evening to see the video! Hate that work blocks all the videos you post! (don't suppose you'd consider always posting the URL [to youtube?] under videos?)

And the first time I read orange...I read it as one syllable....but when I saw it threw the count off, I decided to read it with two. ;) So I go with......two if you need it for a haiku!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

I kinda like the little fish/frog thing. One of the few "cute wrecks" out there.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Nope, purples!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessicaT

wow, who knew cakes could be such great fodder for haiku! BRAVO. those were brilliant. they almost helped to elevate the cakes to art. (ALMOST.)

great Monty Python reference!!

do you just crack yourself up writing this stuff?

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjo

WHAT ON EARTH?! I can't grasp the logic behind this. I hope you have military sweets for sunday :)

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one looks like a palm tree with snow on it. Am I right?!

love, love the reference to Monty Python ... one of our favorite quotes and used rather frequently here in our home ... all with, "I'm not dead yet ... I'd like to go for a walk!" :)

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

The orange Epcot.
I'm heading for the bunker.
Save me a seat, please?

This actually made me nostalgic for the haiku wars my friend Travis and I had many moons ago. Rapid fire emails on various topics. We once composed a total of 15 haikus on the subject of Sonic. Specifically their tots and limeade. Classic!

WV: Moonsi

For many moonsi
have contemplated "orange"
One syllable? Two?

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake #1 looks much like my first attempt at painting pottery. Keeping in mind that I have no artistic talents whatsoever. That first piece I call my "primative period" work. I think perhaps practicing on giant cookies would be better. You can eat your mistakes.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

LOL, the one fish/newt is from a kid's song: "Hole at the bottom of the sea"

Still not a pretty cake tho'!

I say "ornge", not "or-ange".

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Ode to Syllables:

Gold jacket green jacket who gives a profane word for feces?

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

Love your haikus! The cakes on the other hand... well... could use some work, but at least they serve a purpose for comedy on your blog.

BTW Orange is 2 syllables, generally with with every vowel comes a syallable, bot always because of silents vowels and letters, but generally.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDenise

What's better than cakewreck haiku?



(It's "O-Range". Every pronounced vowel marks a new syllable. Just sayin').

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

In Tennessee, from whence my husband came, it is pronounced ORNJ - which word you hear quite often, as the TN Volunteers are ORNJ and white, and people shout out on a continual basis, "GO BIG ORNJ!" (They also sing Rocky Top on a continual basis, but that's a topic for another conversation...)
In Maryland, we give "orange" the usual 2 syllables, and we also prounounce things like Maryville - "mary-ville", not "merravul". ;)

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStill Singing

The "Circle of Sprinkles" cake, as you refer to it, was made by a graduate student majoring in both baking and philosophy and is their combined final exam. The white, of course, represents Tabula Rasa, or the blank slate we all start out with, while the multi-colored sprinkles naturally represent the cultural, ethnic, socio-economic and various other elements of diversity that contribute to the nurturing of the human being. You'll note that the circle is imcomplete on the right side -- the circle is not unbroken, it is not fully formed...will it or can it ever be? Space limitations prohibit a thorough analysis of this masterpiece, but that is a brief summary of this ingenious work that provides both food...and food for thought. It is truly a unique doctoral dessert-ation.

wv - clamism: the tendency to be quiet when in a group

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

I personally pronounce "orange" as one syllable, but most people I know pronounce it as two syllables so both pronunciations are valid.

Great post as usual!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna N.

@thesacredandtheprofane I'd have been more impressed by that if the subject had been the hedgehog instead of the drive-thru =oP

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

@ mel

That was a WONDERFUL disertation, you should do that for a living (maybe you already do!) Make WRECKS of all kinds pretty for society :)

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The blue, orange yellow one looks like the eye from Battlestar Galactica :)

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzombecakes

Jen, you never fail
To outdo yourself each time
Haiku for the win!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

On the Tiana cake, the sign says you deserve the freshest cake made from the finest ingredients. Guess we should get our cakes elsewhere then, cuz that just doesn't look fresh or fine to me.

wv: ferspil. Because America.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake #3 made me think of this:

Sharks fly through the sky
Pretty girl sings to calm them
A Christmas Carol

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I'm going out on a theatrical limb and say that first one is for the cast party of a community theatre production of "Waiting for Godot."

Anyone? Anyone? Just me? Damn.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjiniz

if it were spelled "ornge" then maybe it would be one syllable.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBanana

Clearly Data was supplying the missing Vogon poetry from yesterday!

wv - poldi. Let's poldi's people and see what dey tink.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsbarrows

There's a frog on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea....


May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

In defense of the fish, that's the "frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea"

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Fancy Pansy

Is that Oscar the Grouch peering out of the waves on the third cake?

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

Eye of Sauron FTW.

Once upon a time in my nerdly youth I had Data's poem committed to memory, along with the Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer's Morning. Alas, the fatigue of parenting has eroded both to mere snippets of genius...

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

Love the froggy!!

Hahah I love Riker falling asleep during Data's ODE TO SPOT!!!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertiny p. elephant

Jen deciphers cakes:
monty python, star trek,
and lord of the rings.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterQueen Julian XIII

You win 1000 interwebz with your Monty Python and Lord of the Rings references.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBadcookie

Thank you for not taking liberties with the haiku format like so many ignorant westerners.

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

And who says that Tupac and Biggie are dead? You should really look into being a poet instead of master of finding terrible cakes. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.


May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAuto Title Loans

I love knowing there are other people in the world who have a sense of humor nerdy enough to combine classics from science fiction, fantasy, British comedy, and Japanese poetry all in one post.

I can only sit in awe of such greatness!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna

Hahaha! That's great! My children are doing Haiku's today for Language Arts funny stuff!

May 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJolene

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