My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Tickled Pink

Here in the good 'ol US of A, pretty much everything gets its own holiday. Got a toothache? February 9th is your day! Like air? So do I! Let's celebrate together on November 11th, National Air Day! And if anybody needs me on September 16th, I'll be enjoying National Stay Away From Seattle Day by, uh, continuing to live in Florida.

So anyway, today is National Pink Day, and by gosh, we're going to celebrate it - both the color *and* the singer. Why, you ask? Same reason we climb mountains: too much free time and we're crazy. DUH.

Hit it!

I think I just lost my talent
I don't know where it went.
Good thing I have this necklace

And lots of pink fondant:

Na-na-na-na na-na na
That's not even real fondant. (Ha!)

I got a brand new airbrush
I hope I'm using it right:

These sprinkles are giving me trouble,
Let's tuck 'em out of sight:

Na-na-na-na na-na na
That cake is out of sight!

Meh, so what?
I'm still a Wreck Star
I got my wreck moves
And I don't need yooouu..
except to buy my cakes.
And maybe not complain to my manager.

[scuffing toe and avoiding eye contact]

Next verse!

The shower cake's on the table
I'm sure it'll be a hit:

This one may look like a sphincter,
But what else rhymes with "hit?"

Na-na-na-na na-na na
Something that rhymes with "hit!"

Meh, so what?
That'll buff out:

And four legs are so "out":

And Nicki is gooonnnaaa die!

Na-na-na-na na-na na

But pink makes it all alright!

Happy Pink Day, y'all.

Thanks to Rachel T., Amy U., Heather L., Sara H., Holly E., Brenda M., Sherry L., & Natalie W. for getting that song stuck in our heads. I'll just be over here humming It's a Small World for a while.

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Reader Comments (70)

LMAO Great Post as always Jen!

*Hums It's a small world*

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteryellowpickup

I should NOT have read this so soon after breakfast. Ugh.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe English Teacher

I don't celebrate this holiday. It's against my aesthetics.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Please, no more "It's a Small World". gah! Trauma!

I understand that "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" is a good earworm cure. And the dress fits the theme. I wonder if it works for eyeworms as well -- these cakes bring the idea of worms firmly to the forefront of my mind.

*sigh* I haven't been homesick in the 3 years since i moved away, but now I really wish I was sitting at the Panera's next to the main gate at Rollins. Have they EVER fixed up that awful "art deco" 7-11? (I miss 7-11. Don't have them here.)

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSherri

January 30 is Mouthless Muppet Amputee Day, so you're a little early on cake number 7.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I'm all about teaching children that people (and ?teddy bears? what is that thing?) are differently abled, but if you're gonna cut off its leg, at least give the poor thing a crutch.

Obviously, pretty and pink do not always go together.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBeverly Diehl

Come on & raise your glass if these wrecks are wrong..never in the right ways!

ROTFLOL! Love that song & what you did with it!

Hey - that rhymes with "hit". Oh...were you going for a different word...? ]:-D

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Hmmmm, sphincter and cake...never thought the two would go together in any circumstance, but I was sorely mistaken. I think I guffawed when I read it.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ROTFL!! That sphincter cake is just..... so...... so .......... straining for the right word........ uuuuuuhhhhhhmmmmmm ..... I'm stuck. Blocked. Can't go...... on.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Pink is SO not my color - these cakes didn't change my mind on that at ALL :)

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTisforTonya

O...M...G D: those cakes O_o

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

November 11th really is Veteran's Day.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

I have almost decided it's less risky to just let the shower guests assemble the cake themselves at the event, rather than gamble my money on a baker's mad skills. I mean, who doesn't enjoy a craft, right?

wv: undun: you can put a ribbon around that cake, but i bet it doesn't come undun at the moment you want it to.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjj

My 8-year-old daughter is delighted with the concept of a National Pink Day because she loves pink so much she could have started it. So I know what color I'LL be surrounded by today. Thanks, awfully.

(Oh, and the idea of a Stay Away From Seattle Day cracks me up. I'm guessing Portlnd, Or., started it because they sort of have a little brother-resentful feeling toward Seattle. I don't think Seattle really cares, but Portland can't STAND Seattle. It's hilarious.)

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Oh the irony; I cliked on today's post just as "U + UR Hand" came on the ipod, hee. I love it when you do song spoof posts!!

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Oh lordy- i'm making a baby shower cake this weekend for a friends daughter- and i am SO afraid it's going to turn out like any one of these masterpieces!!

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterteri

WV: ablest These wreckerators are obviously not the ablest cake-makers around. Maybe you should go somewhere else.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

JJ has an excellent idea. If I had a cake to construct at a shower (any shower) it might not feel like I was trapped in the land where time stopped.
How can we start this new and very useful tradition??

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The Sphincter Cake, while not seen too often on Earth, is regularily found on Uranus.

wv - nonstat: frequently heard in medical facilities treating mild illnesses

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Because I was a bad reader and skimmed the part where you said it was a Pink song and had to wing it. FYI- the lyrics work pretty well with Angel in a Centerfold.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy!

Ok, a few things:

Where is The Boob Nazi?? I haven't seen her in long time, and I'm worried.

I never thought the color pink could be ruined so entirely. Leave it to the wreckerators. elissa and Beverly Diehl, you both made me laugh.

I have been telling people for YEARS that singing It's A Small World gets rid of the songs stuck in your head. Thank you for the validation.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarahRod

Forgot to add a mention for my favorite holiday: September 19 is National Talk Like A Pirate Day. Also, my hubby's birthday, which just proves how perfect he is.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarahRod

At the risk of sending everyone to the Epcot shelter....there's totally a king cake wannabe behind the sphincter cake.

Wv: shicrit Wreckerator to customer "Kin You keep a shicrit? I only dekerate drunk."

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDread Pirate

I raise my glass to this musical masterpiece

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

gosh, those are sooooooo sad!! LOL

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSue J

this post wins all the awards

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeilani Roxanne

This blog makes me want frosting.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

i'm tickled . . . pink!

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDJ

th vest way to forget a earworm? listening to "the ballad of bilbo baggins" by our favorite vulcan. Works everytimes.

Im sure if you close the lights, tose cakes could glow in the dark as they are so flashy..o.o

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentervinie

Somehow, these sad little cakes make me very happy that my daughter thinks pink is the color of the anti-christ.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I'm sorry - but I don't think I can fully appreciate that post until there is a sing-a-long music video produced. Until then - I'm going to scour my local grocery store for a snowball. Thank you.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

bahaha...this one was great! :)

Every time I hear that song now I'll get these lyrics stuck in my head :p

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKitrina

@Sherri, thanks for getting "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" stuck in my head. Now I'll have to imagine Pink singing IaSW to get rid of it. Ugh. Ear bleach, STAT.

#1 Except for the trowel marks and the thumb gouge in the bottom corner, this looks like three slabs of ham. It would make a nice visual mnemonic for a lesson on casting pearls before swine.

#2 This looks like it was made of Spam. Nice use of 'fresh' flowers.

#3 looks almost, but not quite, entirely unlike cake.

#4 It's a girl! That would explain the brown ribbons.

#5 "Sphincter boy says, 'what'?"

#6 Suddenly I want bubble gum ice cream. Hold the daisies. I won't inquire as to the variety.

#7 It's I-Don't-Care Bear! To say this cake was a good job would be a bear-faced lie.

#8 Looks like this one is still at the bakery, probably because they couldn't figure out how to get the box closed. I'd say, "Go ahead -- make my day."

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

For some reason the phrase "Pepto Bismol makes it dismal" popped into my head as I was perusing this post.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

SaraCVT, Portland may love to poke fun Seattle every chance it gets, but it's very much a good-natured family kind of rivalry; rather than the kind that both Seattle and Portland have with California...which really is just flat out condescension and disdain (especially on Oregon's part since they share the border).

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterde Pizan

aww, the 3 tiered pink daisy cake makes me sad. Looks like it WAS nice then fell apart en route, then had to be patched together or something. The rest of them leave me baffled. gah.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Number 5, I believe is a cake to celebrate someone's "virginity repair" surgery... or possibly a born-again virgin... I can only assume... Oh. Pardon the pun.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnneke (Mudhooks)

Please please please do a video-song-montage of "So What - the Cake Wrecks Edition". I love your video montages, and it's been tooooooo long since the last one

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjesterqueen1

@de Pizan

Umm, if you say so.... I live in Vancouver, Washington, just across the Columbia from Portland and I get the Oregonian newspaper daily, and "poking gentle fun" is definitely NOT the sense I get from the Letters To The Editor, particularly in the recent flap when it was discovered that Seattle had more police per capita than Portland. But maybe I'm wrong--my daughters have a love/hate relationship, too.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Sweet, o sweet piggy,
Do not weep for your lopped limb.
Soon, they'll all be gone.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I gotta be honest, did not put the Pink the color and singer thing together at first. It wasn't until the end that I stopped singing what you wrote to the Katamari Damacy tune.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead


June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTxLadyBaker

YESS! Cakewrecks + P!nk the singer = ultimate excitement! My day is made :D.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBonita

I suspect that "Stay Away from Seattle Day" originated with Lesser Seattle, a loose-knit kinda-sorta organization dedicated to reinforcing Seattle's rep as a dull, wet, dismal place that no one would ever, ever, ever want to move to.


June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

//I have been telling people for YEARS that singing It's A Small World gets rid of the songs stuck in your head. Thank you for the validation.//

Of course, then you've got Small World stuck in your head.


June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This almost makes me lose my obsession with pink! ewww!

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

hahahahahaha, just heard this song on the radio and I must say, i like your version better!!! I'm scared to suggest...purple rain next??

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterYankeeSweets

Actually many of us know that November 11th is International
Skyrim day this year.

Otherwise I think it's only Veterans Day.....

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

I hate the color pink and It's a Small World! I had to ride it 6 times during a bad thunderstorm when I was 9 as my grandmother didn't want to leave the building---6 times through withOUT getting out of the boat!!

(singing loudly and with as much talent as these wreckerators) BUT SO WHAT CAUSE I'M A ROCK STAR

-Barbara Anne

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeah, that one legged bear is mine! I glued him on the board wrong, and realized too late he only had one leg. That's why he's such a hideous colour combo, hoped some little girl with more love of pink than sense would beg for him. We all had a good laugh when I realized he was an amputee, glad some others think he's hilarious(ly bad) too.

Every decorator pumps out bad ones, especially at places that hire decorators who've never touched a spatula and expect to train them in to some semblance of skill. I usually make decent-to-good ones at least.

June 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranthemsong

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