My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

They're Gonna Need 'Em

Ask where the second "e" went all you want; *I* want to know what's in that icing. [shudder]

Sorry, Ash, you only get one.

Aw, this is my fav "favewell" cake ever. It's the bes!

I'm a little unclear on the message here. Is it:

"Best wishes! Here's a pile of crap! With plastic! And curly ribbon!"

Yes? No? Am I close?

Ok, so in the Ghostbusters video game (oh, c'mon, you knew I was a nerd) there's this cursed clock that claims to show the exact time of death for anyone who looks at it. Creepy, right?

Well, guess what came to mind when I saw this cake?

You think this Wreckerator knows something about Beck Y's future - say, around 10 PM - that we don't? I mean, she filled in everything else from "play with gran kids" to "gardaning," so that lone blank spot is looking pretty dang ominous, if you ask me.

In fact, maybe the baker should just get right to the point:




Thanks to W.C., Ashley B., April C., Ginny B., Heather J., Betsy U., & Jennifer H. for all the fell wishes.

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Reader Comments (62)

Beck y might want to skip "TV' and forego sleepin and rest considering what's on her schedule.


July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The combination of beautiful handwriting and terrible spelling is making dents in my forehead.


July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That was my question too. Exactly WHAT is in the icing on that first cake.

Also, is it me or are they making more and more cakes that resemble poop?


July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pink Drink Ladies

That last cake feels like it's missing something. Like a period, to emphasize the strong feelings of whomever ordered the cake.

Maybe we'll give them a bye this time.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKayto

Oily icing sheen
says "Call the Poison Hotline.
Ipecac chaser."

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"Ask where the second "e" went all you want; *I* want to know what's in that icing. [shudder]"

I'm thinking either pecans or cockroaches.

Sorry, I mean pecan's or cockroach's.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Ants in the first cake? Nah, caraway seeds. It's a recipe from the old country

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

'Bes' is the name of a rather scary Egyptian deity. He looks terrifying, but is actually a household protector. But when I read the cake, I had the image of a little girl having her mother put a statue of Bes (all hairy and frightening looking, with a big... um... stick...), and the little girl freaking out. Oh good gawd NOT BES!!!

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRev. Allyson

I'm thinking the first cake is nuts! I mean nuts in the icing as well as ... well you get it.

wv Gazux - "Gazux Scooby!" An exclaimation from Shaggy when he saw these cakes!

I've been on Harry Potter overload, so the clock cake reminds be of Mrs. Weasley's family clock, only not as awesome and with terrible spelling.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChrisitneb

The third one might have been passable. If it weren't for the misspellings.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWasp

The first cake is an Italian Cream cake with pecans in the cream cheese icing.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Re: Best Wish, Ashley
If you think about it, there can only be one *best* wish.
This cake is correct and don't we all feel foolish.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy'sMom

That one looks like a ghetto Weasley Clock.


July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#1: It's wild rice in the frosting. That's where they get the expression "The ricing on the cake." You know. "Bob thought getting ANY dessert was a treat, but getting one with crunchy frosting? Well, that was the ricing on the cake." (My friend Emily Litella explained it to me...)

#3: "Favewell Beswishes" sound like some sort of individually wrapped snack I'd put in my kid's lunch. ("No lunch is complete without Favewell Beswishes!")

#5: I had the same thought as you -- Something SO horrible is going to happen to Beck Y at 10:00 they can't even write it on the cake. (Or maybe the baker just couldn't spell "exsanguination?")

WV: munbur -- Becky learned that at 10:00 her munbur was up.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The only thing missing from that clock cake is unnecessary quotation marks around 'sleepin'.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRisti

What the...

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think someone should check on grandma Beck Y's medications if she's resting or unconscious at 2, 7 and 11. (As well as being sedentary at 4 and 9)!

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That Favewell cake looks delicious, though. I mean, who can go wrong with strawberries and chocolate? Now I'm hungry...

Must resist bakery. Must resist bakery....

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Considering what's on her schedule, perhaps Beck y should forego sleepin' and rest. Goodness knows, there'll be enough time for rest at ten o'clock.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I just want to know why is sucks to be Betsy. Hey, Betsy, what the heck happened?!?!?!?

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCranky Amy

I actually found the football/cupcake cake encouraging. I mean... "AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! you kids quit playing with that ball before you...... AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! my CUPCAKES!!!!"

This is what's known as making lemonade out of lemons in this life. A great lesson for us all. This is a woman I'd like to meet.

It can't have been PLANNED this way.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

I'm pretty sure the clock cake is a take on Mrs. Weasley's grandfather clock from Harry Potter that has a hand for each family member so she knows where they are/what they were doing. Unfortunately, this one doesn't have a time designated for 'mortal peril'. I'm really thinking it should...

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

#1 I'm sure it is something perfectly innocuous. Yeah, that's it. The second 'e' is in the part that some trusting / daring soul has already consumed.

#2 Given the perfunctory look of the whole thing, I'd say, 'rush job'.

#3 Give the wreckerator a break -- they ran out of 't'.

#4 Your words say 'best wishes', but your cupcakes say something else.

#5 That's a most peculiar schedule 'Beck Y' has, with 'gardaning' at noon and midnight. The poor dear can only do her 'sleepin' for one hour, at 11. What's a 'nop'?

#6 Ah, Bitsy. What does the giver of the cookie have in store for you?

#7 I like how a small piece of this was eaten (presumably) and the cover carefully replaced. I don't think I'd be eating something that said simply, 'bye'.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

When a cake says "Bye,"
You need to consider that
One slice is poison.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I think cake number two is just missing some punctuation (aren't we all?) " Best Wish? Ashley!"

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

With the color of the icing used for the writing, I'm willing to bet that's lavender flowers in the first one. Lavender buttercream is actually really tasty, but that's not how you make it.

Or, you know, ants. It could be ants.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Bionic Belly

The roses on the 'sucks to be you' cake appear to be a bit phallic in shape...just sayin.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannan

I think the clock cake might be refering to Mrs. Weasely's clock from Harry Potter that shows her what her family is doing.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterALyssa

What's in the icing? It's the mutilated remains of the missing "e".

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

@Sharyn 10:29 -- ricing on the cake -- LOL! Hat's off!

Little know fact: this kind of cake is used as a wedding cake in excruciatingly small rural communities in obscure parts of the country. Instead of throwing the rice at the couple as they leave (outlawed by city ordinance as a result of a rather unfortunate incident involving a goose), the rice is thrown beforehand into the frosting! (White rice for the previously unbed, wild rice for, well, the others....) I think I saw this on the National Geographic Channel, so it may be true.

wv-teddlend: a town that can't be shut down, as in "Chicago, Chicago, that teddlend town...."

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

The last cake (and caption) reminded me of the SNL skit with David Spade and Helen Hunt who were nasty flight attendants that kept saying "Buh-bye".

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersundevils1

I think it is lavender flowers in the first cake. Yeah, doin' it 'rong.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLabrys

Epcot! Beck Y goes to Epcot at 10!!!

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the clock cake looks like Epcot...

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

this whole post just made me remember John Green's nerdfighter salutation
"Best Wishes!"


July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

July 20, 2011 9:57 AM
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The first cake is an Italian Cream cake with pecans in the cream cheese icing.


Ummmmm did you make it personally??? I'm just sayin'.... LOL

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNo Cake Fo' You!!!

And at 10:00, they found Beck Y lying there, an uneaten spoonful of cookie cake in her hand.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSabrinaGimm

I was pretty sure at 7pm, there was "no P".

Beck Y best plan her bathroom break around that.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRoses

I thought that the first one was the result of not waiting for the cake to cool before frosting it (when you end up with chunks of cake in the frosting).

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

10 PM is clearly reserved for some "private time". In the bedroom. If you know what I mean. *wink wink nudge nudge*

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermagrathea

@Anonymous Dent-dent-dent:

I think this conundrum will not last long, as cursive writing lessons" rel="nofollow">are being cancelled in the USA. So you'll get ugly, misspelled cakes. Problem solved.

And a bonus: lots of more Cake Wrecks posts in years to come, showing us awkwardly written messages.

WV: nockt - these cakes nockt my socks off.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHerouth

The first one looks like it was frosted with skins-on mashed potatoes.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterM

When the little hand is pointing right at the 3, the big hand has to be pointing at the 12, NOT the 6. I mean, srsly, dont thei no nothin bout cloc kakes!

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought #1 might have something to do with the recent spate of cicada stories in the news (even heard and almost saw one here today in sunny SoCal).

"We use only the finest cicadas, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest-quality spring water, lightly killed, and then dropped one by one into a vat of frosting."

Or that pecan thing. I like that theory better -- don't know how one would go about proving it, but it's easier on the stomach.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Cake #2 makes me want to say everything like Hiro Nakamura. Favewell Peter Petrelli.

VW Furenta: "careful of the furenta next cake. Could cause a hairball."

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Couldn't help but think Beck Y is doing something unmentionable at 10pm, right before going to sleep. Wouldn't want to scare the gran kids by mentioning that old people still have S-E-X....

I think the font on the Favewell cake is really cool, apart from the "r". Well, and maybe the "t", but I haven't seen that one yet. :P

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Maybe the "football" cake is for fans of the Detroit Lions...

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna Spotts

#1 is the anti King cake
no color, no pizzaz, it's not fried and there's no plastic baby inside

-Barbara Anne

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hah! The "Sucks to be you" one reminds me of the note which accompanied the flowers from my office, when I was recovering from surgery. My office manager asked the boss what sort of note he wanted on the flowers, and, without skipping a beat, he said, "Quit goofing off and get back to work!" And that's what the card said.... I thought it was hilarious, because it was so classically my boss.

WV: scrumsay (skrum-sæ) n. Heated interjections shouted in the middle of a rugby scrum.

July 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie J

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