My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

And I Thought "Hole Pile" Sounded Bad

When it comes to naming pastries, you could say this bakery has really hit bottom:

But then, maybe this is a tongue-in-cheek kind of thing?


Butt seriously, I'm sure these doughnuts are out of this world.

In fact, I bet they're really popular on Uranus.



Thanks to Robert F. for showing us what happens when you assume you know how to abbreviate "assorted."

« This Makes My Brain Hurt | Main | The Dora Dilemma »

Reader Comments (101)

I'm more offended that those donuts are $2.99 EACH

/unless it's for a dozen---but that's hella cheap

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I agree with Wendy's $2.99 comment. That's highway robbery for one supermarket doughnut!!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

I am constantly amazed at the stupidity of the human race!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeieneken

at $2.99 each!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous

Uh, wow!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCeeCee

I thought they were referring to those special pillows one must sit on when one fractures one's coccyx, (not that I'd know from personal experience.)
Now *that* would make sense.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I keep trying to figure out what they may have been attempting to write. :/

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

hahahaha omg those are awesome (and expensive!) do you think they could have found another way to abbreviate assorted or at least remember to put a period after it....thanks for the giggle this morning!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersam

As the mom of a little kid learning to read every sign he sees, I'm appauled
As a buyer of yummy round pastries, $2.99! Are you kidding me? What are they thinking? Even the fancy shop here that wraps a piece of bacon around a maple doughnut doesn't have the nerve to charge this much. (that's right, I said bacon wrapped doughnuts- one of the most perfect foods ever)

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRixie

At least someone finally spelled "doughnuts" correctly!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterldherold

My 14 year old daughter spent the better part of last weekend giggling about "Uranus." It's s snicker that never gets old.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

Gee, I always thought you were supposed to "grab the BRASS ring." I'm really glad I never rode THIS carousel.

I wonder what you get when you grab the ass ring? Besides arrested, that is.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I love you guys.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Kids these days... they'll pierce anything.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I'm not sure whether [rimshot!] was also meant as a pun, but goodness my mind went right for it. Let's just say I'm glad I already ate my doughnut this morning.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPhillip Wilde

Annie, I know what you mean. My kids still laugh about a book we have that describes Uranus as a "gassy giant".

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I'm so glad you added the "thank you". I was stumped on what they were trying to say. Thanks, Jen! Hilarious. :-)

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin

for kids with hemorrhoids and a sweet tooth....

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

WIll someone please explain why they cost $2.99 each?
Are they they size of dinner plates? I do love the new abbreviation for assorted. :- )
It's more efficient than asst. or asstd., fewer keystrokes and all that.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLily

1. I love it when people who cannot spell make negative comments on other people's spelling and grammar errors :)

2. Jen, you have a typo in your first line - you put "this" twice instead of "this is".

3. I, too, got a giggle out of "rimshot", and wondered if that was intentional or not (my guess is yes).

(Editor's note: Bwoops. Totally my fault since I edited this this morning at 4am. Ha! See what I did there? -john)

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

I'm simply ASStounded at the price. $2.99 for ONE donut?! Yeesh!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie G. from Iowa

These doughnuts do not look very delicious. Half a dozen, or even a whole dozen, at $2.99 is still too much.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMartha Allen

I think they probably meant to abbreviate "assorted."

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Reminds me of the trip I took to Ireland with my school music department in high school. My friend and I were in a clothing store where a bunch of the shirts were sized "Ass size" instead of the American "One size."

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKati

I really need to stop reading these posts & especially the comments while I'm drinking my coffee. I need to clean my screen now. Thanks guys. :-)

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJackson

RIMSHOT - thank you guys, i needed the laugh today!!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrachel

Maybe that's in Canadian dollars? That's about 50 cents American right?

[Editor's note: Ohh... Soary. The exchange rate is about even now. Soon, that doughnut will cost us $47 and a kidney. Weeee! [sobbing] -john]

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMark

$2.99 each!? We get donuts here for $.69 each...tops! Plus I don't think I could really enjoy anything labeled that way.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly M.A.

I'm reminded of my Danish professor for a course on European Union politics, who entitled his presentation on EU expansion "Membership in the Ass." (For association.) The kindly man couldn't figure out why his American students were busting up!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZoe

1) "Rimshot" /snicker

2) I instantly got that "Ass" was assorted. But what the hell is a "Ring Doughnut"? Doughnut for people with ringworm? Cheap sort of engagement ring? Or are there other sorts of non-ring doughnuts that have become so prevalent that the O-shaped variety must be described so the consumer will know exactly which type of doughnut they are getting involved with?

3) Those expensive ass doughnuts are not for tightwads! /snicker

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterInaya

LMAO - I cant find words other than that to describe the way I feel right now, and thank you to the commentors that clarifyed that they were most likely abbreviating assorted, because I was truly stumped by that one. Lastly, I have to agree with everyone else and say WTH? $2.99 for a freakin doughnut? I mean seriously, who does that?

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTara

I like the butt pillow idea... If you fracture your coccyx just buy and Ass Doughnut!! Cushions your tush and good for a snack! It's dual purpose!! (Maybe that explains the astronomical price?...)

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I laughed until I cried. Then I read it all again and noticed the "hit bottom"!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOtto

OK, "Ass" can be for "Assorted," but why "Ring"? Donuts are rings by definition.

And $2.99 for ONE donut??
I wouln't pay that unless you had me by the, er, ring donut.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

First I thought, "They have doughnuts. What's the problem?" Then I noticed the 'ass ring'. Then I thought, "There are no donkeys in this picture." Then I thought, "They have doughnuts." Then I saw the price. $2.99 for an assortment of at least four, ok. But the sign clearly says, 'each'. $2.99 each?! That makes a well-known national brand of doughnuts that are krispy and kremey seem cheap by comparison. Unless these are indeed the size of dinner plates... After all, they have giant cookies, why not giant doughnuts.

@Rixie, maple bars wrapped with bacon? Who makes these? The olfactory experience of walking into that shop must be outrageous. If they're not in California, what would convince them to come here? Maybe I need to get an online petition going.

Of course, 'what would convince them to come here' also applies to two other people we all know... (JK)

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Do. NAWT. Want.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSay g'night, Gracie

Inaya, it occurs to me that not all donuts have a hole in the center. Circular, yes, but "ring" implies a hole.

Think I'll buy one today. This little nameless shop in my building sells better-looking donuts for $0.90.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

What did they do to that doughnut to make it $2.99? Fry it in truffle oil?

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJezebele

I bet they taste like crap.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanice

'Rimshot' - bwahaha!

That just sealed the deal for me!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

I've always wanted to get my donkey pierced with a doughnut. And now for the low-low price of $2.99.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

"Hmmmmm...ass ring doooonuts...."
ala Homer Simpson

I too am ass-tonished that a doughnut costs $2.99. Even the fancy danishes we would get at the bakery were cheaper than O.o

I also wonder if they are freakishly larger than a regular doughnut? (lol that doesn't sound good for this post bwahahahaha).

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Regarding many speculations on size of doughnuts: These have to be close to normal size, unless they have a marker with a 1" tip. Plus, they wouldn't cook properly (even in truffle oil).

Does anyone have dibs on the chocolate?

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjohn

Looks like there's some ASSorted problems here. All that's missing is the goatse... :P

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfpelayo

Janice for the win! LOL

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertmmvol


September 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterunseeliepixie

hahahaha - marvelous wit, Jen! Thank you for always making my day!

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

Reminds me of a sign I saw in Wal-Mart once: Ass Vases. I don't even want to think about how that would work.

P.S. If you sell it, shouldn't you know how to spell it?

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

I don't know...$2.99 seems pretty fair for doughnuts all the way from Uranus. Just sayin'.

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDarla

Now, what "cheek" might you be talking about ? The "donut" kind ? ;-p

September 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlphos

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>