My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Kids These Days

Education can never start too early. Which is why I, for one, am happy to see all the things kids are learning from their birthday cakes. You know, things like....

...friendly hand gestures:


And where Spider-Man's web comes from:

Watch it go!


Then there are the helpful anatomy lessons:

I think it's safe to say that Bailey really, REALLY enjoyed his Bar Mitzvah party.


Not to mention the legal drinking age:

Hint: that's not it.

And perhaps the best life lesson of all: one of the hazards of mixing boobs with beer:

Hey, it could be worse. You could be on 16 And Pregnant and be rewarded for your questionable life choices with money and fame.

There. Don't you feel better now?


Thanks to Sarah G., Anony M., Tanya G., M.M., and Jenae B. for the education.

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Reader Comments (66)

Oh wow. Those are all terrible!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

What's got into Barney?

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDocbanger

They get points for neatness. Five points per star for the bottom one, in fact!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

Oh yeah, Barney? I feel the same way about you!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I am just sitting here in a stupor, with my mouth slightly open. Seriously? Besides the Barney cake, who orders these cakes? Aaand there goes what was left of my faith in humanity.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia Poll

Spider Man's web appears to be coming out of his appendix.
I always wondered what the appendix is for.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Are those areolae?

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCoach


That is all.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

I don't want to be an alarmist, but judging from the lumpiness, Bailey's cake needs a mammogram, STAT.

I actually LOVE the Barney Cake, because that sums up my feelings for Barney perfectly. When my son was born, we declared the house a Barney Free Zone, and it has been strictly enforced. The only Barney song ever sung here has been:

We love you
You love us
Let's hit Barney
With a bus!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Let's look instead at how nicely these cakes are made. With a few minor adjustments they could go on the Sunday Sweets page. Try thinking of that?

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Shame on you Spiderman!
There's a cake/party shop in our town with an unfortunate helium balloon of Spiderman that appears to have a large central appendage, string tied firmly to the end of his 'Spidey-senses' - seeing that cake, now I understand why, in order to prevent such outbursts!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

It's true - most of these are relatively well done. They're just unfortunate.

I LOVE the expression on Barney's face - it really matches the hand gesture he seems to be giving.

Spiderman nearly had me on the floor laughing.

And yes, Coach, I do believe those are areolae. I thought the exact same thing.

OMG pretty much sums up the rest. Just...yeah...

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

@Sharyn LOL as for these cakes bahahaha some people really do have bad taste.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Spiderman kinda looks like he's sitting on building shaped toilet

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterclare

♪♫Look out! Here comes the Spiderman...♪♫

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke


January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCC

That really is a lot of plastic choking hazards on a cake for a two-year-old. And one smarmy Barney face. He looks like the lovechild of Grimace and The Fonz. (Are you all picturing that coupling now? My work here is done.)

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Teenage cleavage cakes
Barney & Spidey - mad skllls
Bakers without sense

Okay I concur that these cakes aren't poorly made, just inappropriate content, PARTICULARLY the gratuitous nipple shot on Bailey's cake. I don't want to meet the 13 year old that asked for that cake. Let's hope it was a joke. Yeah, that's it, a sick "welcome to teenage-hood" joke. Yep, I see therapy in Bailey's future.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergrneyes6

Spidey looks constipated!! :P

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Spiderman not the first man to leave the web with sticky hands ;)

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCherish

OMG - Can I tell you what makes it even funnier is that today is my oldest's 12th birthday??!!! Somehow I do NOT think I will be ordering him Bailey's cake style........... Holy heck, parents!!!!!!!!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertrunuyawkr

Why does that 13 year old's cake have nipples? WHY???

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTara

Did you know US interrogators use "I Love You," as a futility torture device. Apparently listening to the song for prolonged periods of time causes a sense of hopelessness and depression. I'm sure there are parents out there that can attest to this! Apparently even Barney has had enough if the first Cake is anything to go by!!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeesh

@Sharyn, my house is a BFZ (Barney Free Zone) too! Woot!

Perhaps the cake with the dual nip slip was supposed to be 30th? We can live in hope anyway! (although, it really doesn't make it right that way either...geugh)

And I'm sorry, but in addition to the problems in front, given his squat, Spidey also appears to need some more fiber...

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeahR

Mayhaps Bailey is a girl and got a boob job for her birthday?! Or, maybe Bailey wants a boob job, and ordered the cake his/herself to give the parents a hint?

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

On the 13th birthday cake, is there a bit of nip slip going on?

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

Concerned with the dangers of internet evil, an ever vigilant Spiderman uses his web browser to beat off crime....

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

mouth open in shock that these were cakes really ordered for actual people ! lol

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

The first two are funny mistakes. The others are just a symptom of failing humanity. UGH We are doomed....

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

See Ariel, even Barney thinks your parents are twits for naming you after a Disney princess....

Spiderman.... Confriming what I always thought.... Webs ejaculate from the midsection.....

I hope bailey is a boy.... If not that's definitely a future 16 and pregnant star with a large bill for court ordered therapy...

And whats so wrong with a 17th birthday party and baby shower....the cake above was from her 16th birthday the year before..... What do you think follows a bud light birthday???

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

It's Spiderman's hunched-over posture that makes it so darn creepy. -shudder- Eurrrrrgh. If he were sitting straight up I could think 'oh, what an unfortunate accident!' But - just ---- no.
(And the '5' behind him? I feel so, so ashamed for that kid's parents.)

Can't Bailey also be a girl's name? I guess all of Bailey's classmates really enjoyed her Bat Mitzvah party? >> I think that's supposed to be a corset, actually. The lacing (I hope that's what that is) under the... uh.... focal points of the cake implies a tightly wound dress.

We can all hope that the 16th and 17th birthday cakes were gags. Horrible, horrible, not-thought-out gags.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPuck

You gotta love the sheen on Spiderman's head. He's really working up a sweat.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Minor adjustments:
Omit sticky fluids, birds,
Bingo-ball nipples . . .

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I assumed Bailey was a really well-developed 13 year old girl, in which case she is well on her way to getting that 17th birthday cake in 4 short years.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEsty

Oh, my! For every ONE of them! What are people thinking?

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanB

#1 Yo, Barney! Right back at ya, cuz.

#2 Hmm, a Spider-man cake. Moving right along...

#3 "That's quite an eye for detail you have there, Bevis." How is this ok if Bailey is a girl? An early bloomer, perhaps?

#4 [Irate parent on phone to bakery] "That's six, not sixteen, and 'Buzz Lightyear', not 'Bud Light beer'! Now, you can either eat this cake in the figurative sense and make another at no charge, or... you get the idea."

#5 There is really a show called '16 and Pregnant'? Why am I not surprised. One can only imagine what the tryouts are like...

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Wait, wait wait.... You said that is Bailey's BAR mitzvah cake????? BAR MITZVAH??????? That's a very progressive synagogue!!!!! Woah!!!!!!

I'm going to put a damp cloth over my eyes and contemplate what the world is coming to.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Barney says "I got your cake right here!"

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJill

@Craig: Yes, there really is a show called "16 and Pregnant." It's on...wait for it....MTV.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

After seeing Bailey's cake, all I can think about is Blazing Saddles: "Think of your secretary..."

Oh my!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Perhaps Bailey is a leap-year baby? We'll be celebrating a friend's 14th brithday this year, and we graduated college in the late '70s. I know he'd love that cake.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

Really? Nipples n all there. Wow

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah R.

I know baileys mum, and bailey I can confirm he's a boy, there was a lovely companion shot of the chubby bespectacled birthday boy complete with acne biting off a nipple!
The mothers response- "when I ordered it I made sure they weren't bigger than mine!"

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTanya

Wow, I think I can see the Epcots peeping out of that Bailey cake.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Most of these are disturbing because of the intended age of the recipient, but I have to give MAD PROPS to Barney's cakemaker, because that looks like real icing! Not fondant! I love fondant's look, but who can live without buttercream?!?!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Barney is a dinosaur from your imagination and Barney is responsible for my incarceration. Because I killed him. Actually, it was a double homicide. I took Caillou down with him!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

o.O I saw Spidey and thought “splat.” Not in a good way.

And the colors are wrong on “he-who-shall-not-be-named.” Back in the early ‘90s, I decorated so many dang dinos in puke purple and “gangreen” that I threatened to quit. My boss started assigning them to others. I got really, really testy.

I giggle/snorted that Ariel wanted a dino cake!

@ Haiku Joy I scare the dog when I laugh that hard. Just sayin’.

@ Craig I know people who drink Bud Light beer and I'm now gonna call it Buzz Lightyear. Maybe they'll get it and maybe they won't but I'll be happier.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@Trish: Any court in the land should have called that justifiable homicide. (I'd have added Dora, for the hat trick.)

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Cakes are supposed to be bad for your health, but laughter is the best medicine!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerry

I wonder if DSS ever gets involved based on reports of abuse as evidenced by birthday cake shots. Perhaps they should.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarnieB

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