My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Subjective Reasoning

Sometimes the best part of checking the Cake Wrecks email is reading the subject lines you readers come up with.  After all, it's not every inbox that can boast lines like "Loose Stool or Sea Slug?" and "Two Words: Flaming Caterpillar."

Here are some more fantastic, actual examples of reader email titles from the archives. (No, seriously, I am not making these up.)


"Dogs with grad caps nailed to their skulls" - from Amy T.

(Admit it: you would open that one first, too.)

And she really nailed that description on the head, huh?


"Asphyxiation Barbie: SVU" - Sarah M.

"Looks like somebody..." 

[removing sunglasses]

"...took this doll's breath away."


 "I was looking for Monistat at the Walmart..." - Scott F.

"Yeast ring?" I donut think that means what you think it means...


"Princess Leia's Frhog" - Colleen K.

 "Help me, Oinkie One Kenobi; you're my only hop."


"Madagascar Nipples Cake" - Amy E.

[Insert "Tracts of land" joke here.]


"Peanut Mouth Cookie Ninja" - Amanda B.

(Does the head wound mean the ninja's already been here?)


And my personal favorite:  

"I don't know what it is, but it's angry and it has a guitar." - Petra R.

To be fair, it also has a pilgrim hat.


Thanks to all of today's wreckporters for continuing to keep our spam filters guessing.

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Reader Comments (62)

Sometimes the titles are almost better than the cakes!

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

John, I cracked up at the David Caruso CSI line! My husband watches that show, but I can't stand it. I've mastered a really good David Caruso imitation, though!

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercraftycassie

I think Peanut Mouth Cookie Ninja is meant to be a reference to the Watchmen comic book. I don't think it's intended to be extremely poorly implemented, but it is.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDoubleclick

I bet your spam filters choke on a regular basis! Out of curiosity, just how many emails that you actually want end up in the spam? I can only guess that it's a whole lot more than for most people, if this sampling of subject lines is anything to go by!

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

What once seemed cheap, now
saves thousands in counseling:
"Toy Sold Separately"

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Was the cookie supposed to be a Watchmen cookie? Cause I would be SO mad if I ordered something so cool and got, well... that!

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

Sung (somewhat loosely) to the Twelve Days of Christmas, starting at 7

Seven days before Halloween my stalker gave to meeeeeee
Splitting headache doggies
Body bag Barbie
Mon-i-stat rings
Darth Froggie’s daughter
Breastfeeding cake
Bleeding Happy Face
And a punk tribble with a guitar

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

OMG!!! That last cake is....special.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda K

Man, I've missed you guys. I'm always surprised when I come back after a hiatus how many people ask after me. Thank you for all the "welcome backs" and "hidey-hos" and "avast, me lassies."

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

If I had a dime for every "nipple cake" - !

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Sharyn, any chance you could go all the way to 12, just so I'll have a better version to sing at this year's church Christmas celebration?

that last cake, Looks like someone fed the Mogwai after midnight...

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Does anyone ever actually ask you if you're making these up? On a site with spectacularly bad baked goods I tend to think we'll believe ANYTHING of our fellow readers.

#1 white dog to yellow dog: "Am I a good guy or a bad one? I can't see the color of my hat."

#2 to be fair, we've all complained about non-edibles on cakes and someone was clearly listening! Sharyn's Body Bag Barbie will be in my head for days.
(To be honest, I would've drawn a "chalk" outline. I might have had to strip the top layer off and re-do it but I would have done that.)

#3 Raise your hand if you did Homer's dreamy "do-nuts" in your head. (raises hand)

#4 the only thing more precious than that cake is calling it Oinkie One Kenobi! (though it is pale so Wan still worked) wantwantwant

#5 are those actual led lights on that cake? I saw green shag carpeting with two symmetrical piles of poo.

#6 huh. I got nut-thing.

#7 okay, I agree it could be a Tribble but it looks evil so I was thinking Critters. I also wouldn't have noticed the pilgrim hat as I was afraid to stare at it too long: "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." - Nietzsche

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Maybe I'm old, but the first thing the popped in to my head when I saw the Barbie cake was Laura Palmer...

"She's dead; wrapped in plastic."

(For the youngsters, that's a "Twin Peaks" reference.)

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJB

Is that - the Watchmen-Smiley?


October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFrankN.Stein

TMI here: I am Scott F's wife, and it is true. He was at Walmart picking up Monistat for a stubborn yeast infection. Needless to say- we won't be eating donuts for quite some time.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSVF

Haiku Joy, it is good to have you back. I think flaming creature with guitar was just about to go out on the town and thought, "This look needs something. I know, a hat!!"

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindaS

I don't think that those are nails holding the caps to the dogs' skulls. I think that that's blood coming out from under the caps. Or maybe brains?

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

That last one looks like about 30 seconds before the aftermath of a classic Halloween prank. With a pilgrim hat and a guitar.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Sharyn and Haiku joy thanks for giviing me much needed laughs

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

"Madagascar Nipples Cake" would make a good name for a rock group, don't you think?
Great post!

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I love that the "Peanut Mouth Cookie Ninja" is labeled as a 12" Message Cookie. What, exactly, is the message here? "Severe Peanut Allergy is Severe"?

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergeeky Heather

Don't like her? What's wrong with her? She's rich, she's beautiful, she's got HUGE....tracts of land..

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersandy

Further proof that the fans/wreckporters are just as much fun as Jen and John (thoJ)!

Is it bad that I think the guitar-playing pilgrim Tribble is kinda cute?

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

I came in to say what JB said. Can't belieeeeeeeve you missed a Twin Peaks opportunity!

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaty


October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEww!

Hmmm... If the hat on the last one is supposed to be a black cowboy hat instead of a pilgrim hat, it MIGHT be an homage to Johnny Cash & "Ring of Fire". Which I now have stuck playing in my head.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCatTrampoline

Regarding that last cake: to be fair, I'd be angry if someone stuck a Pilgrim hat on my head and lit me on fire too. Well, either one, actually. Although I might not necessarily express my rage with a mean guitar lick.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAron

OMG. The store that body bag Barbie came from is in my area. I'm afraid. I'm very afraid.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

Yep, what JB and Katy said. I immediately had that theme by Badalamenti running through my head. Damn good cherry pie, uh, cake. (Except it isn't.)

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCynsayshi

CSI Barbie


October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnthony

Princess Bride, Star Wars, and Monty Python references all in one Cake Wrecks episode. That's true awesomeness. :D

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeepBunny

My kids looked at the last cake and thought it might be a tribute to Johnny Cash. Cowboy hat, guitar and ring of fire. Maybe? Still disturbing. LOL!!!

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLesli

A day with a Monty Python reference is a good day.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterhmmusto

A guitar and a pilgrim hat? It's Plymoth Rock n' Roll!

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAshlea Lorance

Bahaha this is UNREAL that last cake...oh the humanity...

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

I'm so proud that my "Lemon Poodle of Doom" gradulated!!!!!

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVixx

"wrraaped in plaaastic"
I first thought of Laura Palmer, too, but can see how hard it was to pass up the CSI riff. Oh, the choices you have to face, be strong, be strong.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFran

Is it just me, or is the last one wearing bunny slippers?

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"I don't know what it is, but it's angry and it has a guitar.Holy Hannah! " I just snorted...much to the dismay of my officemates. Thank you. You just made my day.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaggi

This post is made of win. The cakes...not so much. :)

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelleH

In regards to the body bag Barbie: at least it solved the synthetic hair in icing problem.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngel G.

I thought the bottom cake was supposed to be a huge ball of fire arising from a pile of black ashes...but then the pilgrim hat shot that theory to heck.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary Ann

Body Bag Barbie should have been unwrapped. Of course, that loses one of the all time great alliterative titles, but think of the 'food safety' EPCOT we'd gain.

Or not.

Thought I'd fallen into a warp in cyberspace, eh? Thought I'd forgotten you guys, eh? As if. Soon to have my very own Internet hookup again.

A computer without net access is like a day without air. One can only play so many games of Solitaire do so much work, you know.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

The last one is Plymouth Rock?

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertiny p elephant

Cake #7: Because a hat can fix even the worst bad hair day. ;)

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

@Craig -- Woot! Now we've got Haiku Joy back, and you're on the horizon!

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Oh dear and I so wanted some donuts. Now I won't be able to go to walmart without dying of laughter and probably getting glares from the bakery wreckerators. I know they hide in the back I just know it. That poor poor frog cake. Cannot stop laughing at it no matter what I do.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Please add the "up / down" thumbs - so we can "vote" on comments - they are so wonderful too!
Hafta admit - CSI did not come to my mind either, glad I'm not the only one with Twin Peaks theme song running through my head now.
Happy Madagascar Nipple Cake to everyone! Drive safe!

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTiaHillary

Okay, that last one has T-Shirt potential all over it. "I don't know what it is, but it's angry and it has a guitar" could easily be the next "Happy Faulker Satherhood".

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Also, I think the angry guitar thing bears a strong resemblance to Calcifer - the fire demon from Howl's Moving Castle.

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

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