My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


Today's post is a little different, and doesn't quite fit my standard definition of a wreck - but it's just too darn funny not to share. 

Today's post is also probably NSFW, and unless you want some really uncomfortable discussions with your children, NSFK, either.

So, assuming you're at home and have no kids around, YOU MAY PROCEED.



In the spirit of Pan-Tastic, we here at CW want you to get the most mileage out of your shaped cake pans. To that end, allow us to, this:


Juuuuust a lighthouse.

 ("Be a beacon?!") 

(If you get that reference, I will personally award you one million geek points.)


And also this:

Old Macdonald had a farm.

 Which was clearly compensating for something.


Of course, your pan may be a slightly different model, so there's also this option:

Those pesky UFOs - always taking off to the right.


Or this:

I'm coocoo for COCONUTS!



By now I'm sure you're wondering where all these brilliant designs came from. Well, would you believe there's a whole website dedicated to finding alternative uses for that most distinctive of shaped cake pans? 'Cuz there is, and I think you'll agree that blogger/baker Holly is a veritable WIZARD at making me bust a gut laughing:

 You'll never hear a reference to Mr. Wizard the same way again.

And here's one final option, spotted at an actual baby shower:

There's something ironic about using this particular pan for a baby shower cake. Or is it appropriate? Ironically appropriate? Whatever. IT'S FUNNY.

My thanks to Thomas S., whoever it was that originally sent me the link to Holly's site, and the rest of you for not yelling at me in the comments about how these aren't professional or at ALL appropriate. I KNOW.

But to be fair, neither am I. ;)

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Reader Comments (81)

Too Funny! I always see those pans but never buy one because, really, what else would you use it for?

Now I know!

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Witch's Kitchen

"Always give him he......lp. Be a beacon in his sad and lonely life"

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

And here I was trying to figure out what that cake pan was really supposed to be, never realizing that it truly was a penis cake pan! D'oh! Well, maybe it's the perfect gift for that person who has everything!

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

For anyone who needs a hint for the geek reference, try Setec Astronomy. You're welcome.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDavid


November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

"And give him Can you do that for me, Ilsa?"

Hubby and I quote "Be a beacon??" to each other CONSTANTLY. I CLAIM YOUR GEEK POINTS.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I'm sorry.. "Elena", not "Ilsa." It's clearly been too long since I saw Sneakers. :)

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

"Be a beacon?" That's from "Sneakers", of course! :P

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarebabe

And give him hea.....

Love that movie, own that movie actually.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

BEST POST EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

Sung to “Drive my Car” by the Beatles

Called the baker at my grocery
I said, “Baker, Can’t you see?”
That’s not a lighthouse, in fact it’s icky
Apply some first year psychology

Baby, that’s not a “cigar”
Freud will only go so far
Baby that’s not a “cigar”
So go grab a loincloth

Next a scene from the local farm
Something that big could do great harm
It’s just as clear. As clear as can be
You’re dabbling in animal husbandry


Really, baker, it’s me you can trust
Don’t want something with that much thrust
Honest baker, it’s kind of obscene
I’m calling Setec Astronomy*


Coconuts? Oh, seriously?
Some things you can’t help but see
That’s not a blue wizard, oh gee
Looks like a blood flow problem to me


The new mommy is going to flip
C’mon baker, I’ll give you a tip
Once a new baby is coming to stay
Go ahead and put that thing away.


Ick, ick, ick ick, bleah

*Just put those geek points in my PayPal Account, m’kay?
We use that line all the time.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

It's a...what? Or is it just too obvious?

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Okay, Jen, this is my first time commenting. I am a fan on FB and have commented there, but I have been checking this page DAILY since I discovered it in 2008. I laugh out loud every time, and have shared this page with all my friends. This was the post that made me leave my first comment. #1, that blog about the other uses for the pan -- there are almost no words. And also, there are a lot of hilarious other ones that were even funnier than what's on here. #2, How do you not sill just see wonky willies when you look at any of these alternate shapes?? At least the Christmas tree one on the blog was slightly altered in the shape of the tip, so it stops it from looking quite so phallic. I think that was the best re-interpretation of it that was useful outside of bachelorette parties. And the one at the baby shower is genius. Anyway. Thanks for the laugh. Thanks for 4 years of laughs. I am a huge fan.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBelovedMolly

It's not often that my jaw actually drops when reading a post. Today was truly jaw-dropping... then the giggles took over. Now I need to make sure my 10 yr old daughter doesn't read today's post... lol

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertaf

To Peyronie's AND BEYOND!!!

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Um... Is it just me, or does that first one seem to have... Ermmm... Uh... Well... PIERCINGS<?i>?!?!?

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Yay, I was right. My family uses the quote "My voice is my passport" all the time, but said in the sing-songy way the phrase was recorded.

X-rated pantastics....awesome

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

"I don't fear those pants
with nobody inside them."
These words? I lied them.

~ Suess paraphrase

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Thank you, and thank you again, Jen, for starting my Monday off so well. I clicked the link to see all her ideas. I love that she's trying her hardest (pun intended) to reuse her purchase. :)

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkbirdcarr

It's hard...
to pick the best one today,
it would be quite a mission,
all stand-up cakes in this display,
really stiff competition....

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Hm. One could craft a tornado, too.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterN.O'Really

"IT'S A ROCKETSHIP!" Clearly no one has seen Death to Smoochy. Only that occurs with an inappropriate cookie ;)

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlissanee

I am not fooled by these cakes.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSmartalec


November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I must lead a very sheltered life because I've never come across a penis-shaped pan.....

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

I must say that it took me till the coconut cake to determine that the pan in reference was NOT a "#1" pan!!! :P Then I had to scroll back up & double check. LOL.

Shayrn, today's song is a masterpiece!! :)

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

My four-year-old walked in as I scrolled to the last cake. She told me that it needed Hello Kitty on it and it would be perfect!! Apparently Hello Kitty fixes everything...

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteph W

Best. Sneakers. Reference. Ever! You are now proven to be one of my favorite people - no one else has ever heard of this movie! "Give him head?" "Be a beacon?" Bwahahahahaha!!

Love it!

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

"Whistler, i hate to tell you this - you're blind"

LOVE that movie. ^_^

"I'm Carl."
"I'm Mary."
"I'M going to be sick."

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

The other side of the coin is that, if you don't happen to have THAT pan and want to make THAT: use the Dora pan. ROFL

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle P

I came to the comments to find out what kind of cake pan that was. I thought my elderly, vein-y leg was being pulled so I turned to my bff Google. Forehead smack ! Even the 'bendy' guy has his own pan! Wow.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterP.U.

I made the mistake of scrolling through these without realizing my 10 year old son was looking over my shoulder.

He didn't get the jokes...and I don't know whether to be relieved, or concerned!

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDenita TwoDragons

I rarely comment, but today's post is by far one of my favorites. I've always wondered what to use those for. Maybe I should buy one now and make something non penis-y and see if anyone says anything!!

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeazy

Thank you for the all the tips on how to use our new favorite pan ;)

I definitely needed this laugh today!

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermadtigerkitty


"And after the railroad tracks, a cocktail party."

"Mother, did I ever tell you why I left the CIA?"

"I can't do that; I'm driving, I'm driving!"

"You can have anything you want and all you're asking my phone number."

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSavanna

"I put on my robe and wizard hat"

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLcP

Ok, I just read this before heading out the door to vote early. And I'll be standing there in line, smirking, thinking about all the implications of baking a penis-shaped cake for a shower for a baby girl.

Freud isn't rolling in his grave. He's trying to claw his way out so he can analyze all this!

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Love "Sneakers"! And obviously I'm not the only one....we own a copy too :) Love this website and impatiently wait for 8 a.m. each day for it to refresh with the new day's jewels.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

Best. Post. Ever.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBriony

I get the million geek points! I love "Sneakers"!

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRandom

"Be a beacon." -- Sneakers
Loved that movie. LOL.

Thanks for the great laugh.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy the Geek

I knew I loved you. I mean, you are a pair of geeks. You are as in love with steampunk as I am.

But you have pushed me over the edge with the quote from my teen years.

"Too Many Secrets". Tell me that River's dancing around Mary's graceful self was not the BEST thing in history up to that point.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKT Andersen

I'm guessing it's a boy!!

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

....SNEAKERS I love you.

And oh, dear, that cake.... :)

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I clicked on the link to this while I was waiting in line at the store. My mouth just hung open the whole time I was reading it. I can only imagine what the people around me though. This post is pure gold.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkatznhund

(I also now have "Chain of Fools" stuck in my head. Congratulations.)

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I am laughing so hard, my dogs came over to the desk to check on me. I started thinking that maybe you could do more with it if you kind of squared it up but that brought on the image of someone wacking off the er,tip. And would you square up the other round areas? Sorry, I can't breath with all this wacking. Thanks for the great post.

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

Just spit hot tea out my nose. Thanks for that. :)

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

Insert Beavis & Butthead laughter here... she said, "Bust a gut" more Beavis & Butthead laughter here. (BTW beautiful, Sharyn! As always.)

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGroovy Girl

The only thing about this post that makes me cringe is knowing that my middle schooler checks Cake Wrecks every single day, generally without me present. I'm pretty sure most NSFW things just go right over her head, but I have a feeling this one won't. Lucky me.

At least I got a good laugh out of it, right?

November 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

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