My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Say My Name, Say My Name

At some point during a bakery phone order, you really have to ask yourself:

"Why's it taking this guy so long to write my name down, anyway?"

And for future reference, I actually prefer it "with just won 'N' in Orange."


Still, the important thing is that I know I'm your one and only.



Also, you should know that of all the variations my name is subjected to, the worst of them all, without a doubt, is "Iffer."

I said, "one F!!"


Jenn M., Lisa W., & Krista K.? You have been warned.

« Eh, You Get the Idea | Main | You Gonna Eat That? »

Reader Comments (87)

Seeing as my name is Jennifer, this is hysterical and completely correct!!

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen W.

Nice roses! **

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSunshine Mary

I now have a mental picture I can't shake of a nasty little imp called the "Birthday Iffer". He's the mischevious rascal who places all the "if" thoughts in your head once a year. ("If I eat the whole cake...", "If no one remembers my birthday...", "If I survive another year...") Sometimes known as the "Birthday Effer" (you can imagine why), he is not a very popular character.
(Someone please draw this! In my imagination he has pointed ears, very short legs and wears a striped grey sweater. He also has very poor posture.)

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Dear goodness, yes. As a fellow Jen, Jennifer, Jenn, Jennie (gah!), Jenny (ewww), Jeffer, Furfur... I know the horror our mothers saddled us with when they gave us this name. Hilarious cakes (I can't even figure out what that last one is supposed to be)!

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I am constantly amazed that people mess up the spelling of the name Jennifer. It's such a common name! Blows my mind...

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Well, at least the baker in the middle actually managed to put only one "n" in "Jenifer" - that's probably some kind of spelling record!

As one of the multitudes of people bearing some form of the name "Jennifer," I must admit I'm feeling very conflicted right now - should I be offended by the wreckiness or be proud that variations of my name are getting a Cake Wrecks feature?

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIkwig

C'mon, J*nNnn. With all the wrecked cakes you've seen, you should know it's N-tirely two much to ask iffer your cake will be spelled correctly. Ulations my on another great post. (in orange)

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Iffer cake looked as horrible as that, she must have been really disappointed on her birthday.

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHM Heather

Is this a hint that today is your birthday? If not, Happy Unbirthday!

I have to wonder sometimes, do these bakers really think people want "In Blue" on thier cake? I mean, isn't it more work for them? Don't you think they would stop and say, "Do I REALly have to put this on the cake?"

Or is it a matter of a mass amount of bakeries hire non-english speaking people to decorate thier cakes? Maybe they just don't know the difference? Why am I asking pointless questions?

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Birthday Iffers in
Lassoes? Speech bubbles? I know!
Cells in mitosis!

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Are those supposed to be rattles on the last one?

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrisdmek

How silly. Everyone knows there aren't any N's in "blue" at all!

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteve the Pocket

Someone I knew once introduced herself to someone as Joni with an "i". She wondered why he kept looking at her funny. It transpired that he had misheard this as "Joni with one eye" and he was trying to figure out which eye was fake.

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

As a fellow Jen (with one n), I love this entry! Thanks for making me laugh!

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenRo

It's hard to blame the wreckerator for the first cake, when the ending couplet scans perfectly to "leaves of three, let it be." Constant exposure to inane poetry is one of the hazards of working at a grocery store; over time, it does things to your brain.

The last... thing actually celebrates the discovery of two new planets: Jenn, whose symbol is a takeoff on Venus's hand mirror, and Iffer, which is composed entirely of escaped party balloons.

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Am I the only one that read the first cake as requesting it wanted everything else written on the cake in one color and only the 2 Ns in Jenn be in blue?

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

What is that last cake? Are those balloons with nooses in their ends or colourful balls and chains? Weird...

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim

The last cake looks kind of like handcuffs. Maybe Jenn and Iffer are parole buddies? Or twins with very stodgy parents.

"We decided from the beginning that the baby's name is Jennifer. We are NOT changing that!"
"But you had twins!"
"So? They can share!"

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMoe

I can sort of understand 'one-n-only'.

In fact, since 'Jenifer' is spelled with one 'n', my money is on this order having been made in writing, thusly:

Message: Happy Birthday Jenifer. One 'n' only.

That being the case, this wreckerator actually got it spot on.

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

The One-N-Only made me smile. With those hyphens, it makes that Jenifer the "one and only" :-)

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Two "n's" one "f" Jen here. Loved this post.
(I swear it's men who go with the two f's all the time. Had the opportunity to meet/greet William Shatner the other week, and he spelled my name with two f's. (humble brag much?))

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenW

@Haiku joy XD XD I love the classic cakewrecks errors-they are hysterical

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

It amazes me at what people can do to a perfectly common, conventional name. My sympathies!

And I completely understand. I've learned to spell my name before I sound it out ("A-L-I-Z-A-uh-LEE-zah"). Otherwise I get people writing down "Elysse". A very nice name, but only one letter in common with mine...

And I should add... I have no idea what the last cake is supposed to be. I like Moe's hypothesis.

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

@zoomom -- Hey, I know that guy! I SO wish I could draw, but it would be iffy-er. (I'm picturing horizontally-striped green and white tights, too. Or is that a different Effer?)

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

'nother Jen here. I had a little cousin who couldn't pronounce Jennifer, so she called me Nefner. Still does, as do her mom and dad. That said, these cakes boggle my mind. It's not a hard name, people! I shortened mine as much as I could, tho. ;-)

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

So my name is NOT Jennifer (sorry!) but rather a common name starting with a different letter. I can't tell you how many times I have to say "It's Kris with a K...and NO H!" So many people want to spell my name Khris. Yeah, that makes about as much sense as these cakes!

Love the rattles/handcuffs/cells in mitosis/balloons/thought bubbles....

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergrneyes6

These celebrity baby names are getting out of hand, people! Happy Jenn isn't so bad, but Birthday Iffer is just too much.

At first, I thought that middle one said "Happy Birthday Jenifer Cone-N-only".

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Laughing at this post because, as you may notice, I have something in common it: I love cake! Seriously, though...I found my new catchprase:
Happy Jenn!
*jazz hands*

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn-i-fer

As another Jen, thanks for the Jennifer tributes. I still love it when I get my Christmas cookies every year with my name spelled Ginny or Ginnie. It has been 35 years and my grandmother and aunt still spell it wrong. Although I do go by Jenny with my family, to see it spelled with a G always makes me smile. Thanks again!

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen B

LOL!! As an "Elisabeth", I get all sorts of"corrections" on my name. Alyssa, Melissa, Elizabeth & all it's many nicknames... Never could find any pre-personalized items either. Quite the bummer growing up. :( So I decided to name my daughter something simple, something common - Sarah - not knowing she'd have to specify"with an 'h' ". *headdesk*

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

You guys think that's bad.... try having people tell you you don't even know your own name. I was born "Judy", NOT "Judith" - and yet over and over and OVER again I have constantly had to argue with people (including some teachers all throughout grade school) who tell me: "No, I need your full legal name...... " That *is* my full legal name! ARGH!!!

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertrunuyawkr

As yet another Jennifer, it is a bit annoying how many misspellings people think are "cute" which makes it difficult for others to spell my name. When I was in middle school, there was a Jenepher. *twitch*

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

@Steve the Pocket - that comment made me literally laugh out loud (something I try hard not to do while reading CW in the office).

Anony Mouse, kudos for at least spelling your daughter's name correctly!!

another Sarah (with an 'h', but NOT Shara, Sahara, Sally, or Sierra)

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTheOneOnTheRight

I suppose one could argue that "iffer" is way better than other names one could be called.

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

These people! Honestly!! I mean, writing "in BLUE" and they're using RED icing!!! Do they not think or are they all colorblind??? Do the words themselves mean nothing to them? How did they get these jobs?

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJo

Love the community of Jen/Jennifer's on these comments! I'm another Jennifer, and believe it or not, I actually HAVE a group of friends who affectionately call me Iffer.

It came as a result of me preferring my full name to any shortened version. Most people knew this, so when someone would say "Jen", someone else would start filling in the second half for me! And it became a nickname which I really don't mind :)

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIffer

@Sharyn, yes, that's the little Effer (I mean Iffer!) I'm talking about!
Jen, I usually leave these observations to others, but "Say My Name, Say My Name"=awesome! Love The NeverEnding Story! Now, if someone doesn't draw a picture of the Birthday Iffer I am going to sink into the Swamps of Sadness.

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Aww! Jenifer is somebody's "one and only"!

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAllie

So, on that wonderful day last fall when I got to meet Jen on her fabulous book tour in Baltimore, she signed my book

To Jenn with 2 "N"s
Under Neat That
I want sprinkles!

Now there is a cake version that is almsot as good!

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

but the first one sounds like poetry! I can't stop reading it over and over again! *ashamed*

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLy

Today's post made me think of the song "27 Jennifers" by Mike Doughty. I am actually a Jenniffer with 2 Ns and 2 Fs, but that's just because my Mom was still all loopy on pain meds as the nurse asked her to spell my name on the birth certificate!

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

OK, folks; I just had to weigh in on this...

Try growing up "Jenneth"; NOT Jennifer in any form. I've never received a Cake Wreck, but I have received mail addressed to someone named: Jenech, Jenneph, Kenneth, Jennifer, and many more. All after having spelled my name prior to said mail being posted. My name is NOT a derivative of "jennifer" and I grew to hate it when people would address me as such.

So from one "Jen" to all the other's who have posted today or will post later; I feel your pain!

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenneth

The best part about the first cake is the candles in it, all blown out. It makes me think that either the recipients were so happy to have a cake wreck or maybe they didn't even notice. Of course, I'm thinking that Jen might be too (or maybe three, depending on how you feel about the good luck candle) so she might not have known about the whole blue thing or why 'N's should be blue anyway.

And I know what a Happy Jenn is (obviously one with her name spelled correctly), but what is a Birthday Iffer?

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

We're taking over the world! Bwahahaha!

I pretty much roll with whatever form of Jennifer people want to call me. Except Jen Jen. For some reason that particular nick name sends me into a blind rage.

My favorite nick name is Pfiffer. I think I got that one year around Christmas when a friend was eating pfeffernusse cookies and it somehow got tangled up with my name.

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I too have a difficult name to spell. I'm in my forties and my aunt still spells it wrong(which is weird, because it was her father's name). And in case anyone is wondering, I'm a granddaughter named for her grandfather.

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelticat

Lol perfect today is my friend Jens birthday, so sharing this on her wall lol

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLouise

The Lorax reference! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Made my week.

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

As one of the millions of "Jennifers" out there....I think I'll make my own birthday cake this year!!

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

As a cake decorator at a grocery store since 1994, I try my hardest every day not to make it to cakewrecks, lol. A lot of it has to do with the morons that tkae the actual cake order. Every time there is a new employee I have to go over and over and over on how to take a cake order appropriately, so I know exactly what the customer wants. I've seen some pretty odd stuff written on an order, when in doubt I call the customer. I can totally see the 'one N' only' be written on the cake order and the decorator copying what is written. I drill it into their heads that you MUST write it how they want it, no abbreviations UNLESS its HBD, because I know full well that they want Happy Birthday written on the cake, not HBD.

some people shouldn't be cake decorators, some people shouldn't be allowed to take cake orders or even work in a grocery store. You can't fix stupid.

March 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSparky

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